“Penellaphe.” The Duke’s tone carried a thread of warning. I was taking too long. “We do not have all day.”
“Give her a moment, Dorian.” The Duchess turned to her husband. “You know why she hesitates. We have time.”
I was not hesitating for the reason they believed—why the Duke smiled with such relish. Of course, I was uncomfortable baring my face, my scars in front of Hawke. Truthfully, though, that was the least of my concerns at the moment, but the Duke was probably internally screaming with twisted joy.
The man absolutely loathed me.
Dorian Teerman pretended that he didn’t, that he thought I was this miracle-born, a Chosen, just like his wife believed. But I knew better. The time spent in his other office proved exactly how he felt about me.
I wasn’t sure what it was about me that he hated, but there had to be something. As far as I knew, he was at least somewhat decent toward the Ladies and Lords in Wait. But me? He loved nothing more than discovering something that made me uncomfortable, only to then exploit it. And if I really wanted to make his day, I’d give him something to be disappointed in, a reason to continue his lessons.
Face burning as if on fire—from anger and frustration more than embarrassment—I reached for the clasps along the chains at the same moment Tawny rose, nearly tearing them apart as I unhooked them. The veil loosened, and before it could fall, Tawny caught the sides and helped ease the headdress off.
Cool air kissed my cheeks and the nape of my neck. I stared straight at the Duke. I wasn’t sure what he saw in my face, but his smile faded, and his eyes turned to shards of obsidian. His jaw clenched, and I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t stop myself…
I smiled.
It was just a hint of a grin, one that probably wasn’t noticeable to anyone but the Duke, but he saw it. I knew he did.
I was sure I’d pay for it later, but at that moment, I didn’t care.
Someone shifted to my right, ending my epic stare-off with the Duke, and reminding me that we weren’t the only two in the room. He wasn’t the only one looking at me.
The right side of my face was visible to Hawke, the side that the Duke often said was beautiful. The side I imagined matched my mother’s.
Drawing in a shallow breath, I turned my head until I completely faced Hawke. No side profiles. No hiding or mask that covered the two scars. My hair was secured in a braid and then wrapped in a knot, so it too provided no curtain. He saw everything that had been bared at the Red Pearl and then some. He saw the scars. I braced myself. Just like the Duke knew I would, because deep down, whether Teerman knew why or not, Hawke’s reaction would affect me.
It would hurt more than it should.
But I’d be damned if I let it show.
Lifting my chin, I waited for the look of shock or revulsion, or even worse, pity. I expected nothing less. Beauty was highly coveted and worshipped, flawlessness even more.
Because beauty was considered godlike.
Hawke’s golden gaze roamed my face, his stare so potent that it felt like a caress along the scars, my cheeks, and then my lips. A shiver danced across my shoulders as his eyes came back to mine. Our gazes locked. Held. The air seemed to be sucked from the room, and I felt flushed, as if I’d been sitting out in the sun for too long.
I didn’t know what I saw as I stared back at him, but there was no shock etched into his expression, no revulsion, and especially no pity. His face wasn’t empty, exactly. There was something there, in his eyes and in the set of his mouth, but I had no idea what it was.
But then the Duke spoke, his tone deceptively pleasant. “She’s truly unique, isn’t she?”
I stiffened.
“Half of her face is a masterpiece,” the Duke murmured, and my skin flashed cold and then hot as my stomach twisted. “The other half a nightmare.”
A tremor coursed down my arms, but I kept my chin high and resisted the urge to pick up something, anything, and throw it at the Duke’s face.
The Duchess spoke, though saying what, I wasn’t sure. Hawke’s gaze remained fastened on mine as he stepped forward. “Both halves are as beautiful as the whole.”
My lips parted on a sharp inhale. I couldn’t even look to see what the Duke’s reaction was, though I was sure it was nothing short of cataclysmic.
Hawke placed a hand on the hilt of his broadsword and bowed slightly, his gaze never once leaving mine. “With my sword and with my life, I vow to keep you safe, Penellaphe,” he spoke, voice deep and smooth, reminding me of rich, decadent chocolate. “From this moment until the last moment, I am yours.”
Closing my bedroom door behind me, I leaned against it and exhaled raggedly. He’d said my name when he took his vow as my guard. Not what I was but who I was, and that was…
That wasn’t the way it was supposed to be.
With my sword and with my life, I vow to keep you safe, Maiden, the Chosen. From this moment, until the last moment, I am yours.
That was how Vikter had sworn his oath, as did Hannes and then Rylan.
Had the Commander not informed Hawke of the correct words? I couldn’t imagine he’d forget. The look on the Duke’s face once Hawke had straightened could’ve set fire to wet grass.
Tawny spun to face me, the pale blue gown she wore swishing around her feet. “Hawke Flynn is your guard, Poppy.”
“I know.”
“Poppy!” she repeated my name, practically shouting it. “That!”—she pointed to the hall—“is your guard.”
My heart toppled over itself. “Keep your voice down.” I peeled away from the door and took her hand, pulling her farther into the chamber. “He’s probably standing outside—”
“As your personal guard,” she stated for the third time.
“I know.” Hearth thumping, I pulled her toward the window.
“And I know that this is going to sound terrible, but I have to say it. I can’t contain it.” Her eyes were wide with excitement. “It’s a vast improvement.”
“Tawny,” I replied, slipping my hand free of hers.
“I know. I recognize that it was terrible, but I had to say it.” She pressed her hand to her chest as she glanced back to the door. “He’s quite…exciting to look at.”
Indeed.
“And he’s clearly interested in moving up in the ranks.”
Her brows knitted as she turned back to me. “Why would you say that?”
I stared at her, wondering if she’d paid any attention to what the Duke had said. “Have you ever heard of a Royal Guard that young?”
Tawny’s nose scrunched.
“No. You haven’t. That’s what befriending the Commander of the Royal Guard will do for you,” I pointed out, heart thumping. “I cannot believe that there was no other Royal Guard just as qualified.”
She opened her mouth, closed it, and then her eyes narrowed. “You’re having a very strange, unexpected reaction.”
I crossed my arms. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You don’t? You’ve watched him train in the yard—”
“I have not!” I totally had.
Tawny cocked her head to the side. “I’ve been with you on more than one occasion as you watched the guards train from the balcony, and you weren’t watching just any guard. You were watching him.”
I snapped my mouth shut.
“You seem almost angry about him being named your guard, and unless there’s something you haven’t told me, then I have no idea why.”
There was a lot that I hadn’t told her.
The suspicion in her gaze grew as she studied me. “What haven’t you told me? Has he said something to you before?”
“When would I have had a chance for him to speak to me?” I asked weakly.
“As much as you creep around this castle, I’m sure there is a lot you overhear that doesn’t actually require you speaking to someone,” she pointed out and then stepped forward. Her voice lowered. “Did you overhear him say something bad?”
I shook my head.
“Poppy….”
The last thing I wanted was for her to think Hawke had done something wrong. That was why I blurted out what I did. Or maybe it was because I had to say something. “I kissed him.”
Her lips parted. “What?”
“Or he kissed me,” I corrected. “Well, we kissed each other. There was mutual kiss—”
“I get it!” she shrieked and then took a visible deep breath. “When did this happen? How did this happen? And why am I now just hearing about this?”
I plopped down in one of the wingback chairs by the fireplace. “It was…it was the night I went to the Red Pearl.”
“I knew it.” Tawny stomped her slippered foot. “I knew something else had happened. You were acting too weird—too worried about being in trouble. Oh! I want to throw something at you. I can’t believe you haven’t said anything. I would be screaming this from the top of the castle.”
“You’d be screaming it because you could. Nothing would happen to you. But me?”
“I know. I know. It’s forbidden and all that.” She hurried over to the other chair and sat, leaning toward me. “But I’m your friend. You’re supposed to tell your friends these kinds of things.”