Alastir was silent for a long moment and then he exhaled heavily. “As much as I hate to say this, because I love both you and Malik as if you were my sons, I hope that is true. If only for your sake and the sake of the kingdom. It is far past time to let go.”
I reached out with my senses again, this time not hesitating. Sincerity echoed through the invisible cord, tasting like warm vanilla.
“It is,” Casteel said, and my ability stretched out toward him. The burst of agony was tangy, coating my insides.
My hand dropped to his out of instinct, and I only stopped myself at the last moment. He would know what I’d done. I slipped my hand away, clasping them in my lap.
“What about your obligations?” Alastir met Casteel’s gaze with an unflinching one of his own. “What was expected of you before you left still awaits your return.”
Casteel’s fingers started moving again, along the curve of my hip. “Things change all the time.”
What had been expected of Casteel upon his return? Questions bubbled to the tip of my tongue, but I held them back, figuring that the second I started asking them would be the moment they stopped talking. Right now, it was as if they had forgotten I sat between them.
“And things have changed since you left, Casteel. You’ve been gone for over two years,” Alastir advised, picking up his cup. “There is unrest among our people, especially the wolven.”
“I know that,” Casteel answered as I glanced at Kieran. He stood with a hand on the hilt of his sword, but other than that, I wondered if it were possible for someone to be asleep while standing with their eyes open. He looked that bored. “And I will do everything I can to ease that unrest.”
“By marrying someone who is only half-Atlantian? An outsider?” Alastir turned to me. “And I mean no offense by that, Penellaphe. I sincerely do not.”
“None taken,” I advised. He was right. I would be an outsider to Casteel’s people.
“She may only be half-Atlantian and raised in Solis, but my people will accept her because I accept her.” Casteel stated this as if there were no other option. “You know, you were partly correct when you said that marrying her gives us bargaining power. It does. With her at my side, we have a better chance of gaining back our land.”
Alastir sat back in his chair. “To avoid war?”
“Yes. Isn’t that what you want? Isn’t that better than sending our people off to die by the thousands?” Casteel demanded. “Do you want to see more wolven die?”
“Of course, not.” Alastir shook his head. “I want to avoid war. I’ve already lost enough to the Ascended, as you know.”
I felt a momentarily tensing in Casteel’s body. “I do. Gods, I do know.” He exhaled heavily, relaxing a bit, and I sensed that there was more, things not being said. “The part you were incorrect about is assuming that my only reason for marrying Penellaphe is for bargaining power, whether that be for my brother or the kingdom. If I didn’t feel the way I do for her, I could’ve simply used her in the way I originally planned.”
The truth stung, but the lies scraped over my skin like hot knives. I kept my face blank, showing no reaction.
“That is true.” Alastir dragged his lower lip between his teeth. “I can only hope the unrest is manageable. I’ve been trying, but the young ones…they have a certain view on how things should be carried out. And your father has agreed with them more and more.” Alastir’s gaze fixed on the cup he held. “He hoped that your time in Solis would prove fruitful. He has learned that it has. However, he has plans now, Casteel. And he is still the King.”
“Do those plans involve me?” There went the realization that I should remain quiet. Still, I couldn’t hold myself back. For far too many years, I’d sat in silence while others around me discussed me, my life, and my future.
No more.
The look of surprise flickering across Alastir’s expression gave way to a faint smile. “I have a feeling that many things involve you now.” His features sobered as his gaze shifted to the Prince. “I would like to speak to Penellaphe.”
“About?” Casteel queried.
“About all of this. I want to talk to her alone,” he requested.
Casteel leaned forward, pressing his chest to my back. “Why do you want that?”
“Do you really need to ask that question?” Alastir returned, his cheeks flushing with the first hints of genuine anger. “You will need my aid when it comes to convincing your father and the wolven that this is a worthy marriage—that this will benefit the kingdom, and that you truly chose her. You know that. Do you think I will go along with any of that if she is being forced into this?”
My respect for the elder wolven blew through the roof of the keep.
“No, I do not believe you will go along with it,” Casteel answered. “If Penellaphe wishes to speak with you, I have no problem.”
My heart rate kicked up, but when Alastir turned to me, I nodded. “I will speak with you.”
“Perfect.” Alastir gave me a tight smile as he rose. “Come. Let’s walk.”
Casteel’s arm slipped from around me, and I stood. “Just so you know, Penellaphe doesn’t need protection. She is more than capable of handling things herself. But that is my future you are walking away with. Guard her well. Your life depends on it.”
“Is it true?” Alastir asked as we walked the narrow halls of the keep, my hand tucked into the crook of his arm. Dim light flickered from the oil sconces, casting shadows along the unfamiliar stone walls. “You can defend yourself? Is that with or without a weapon?”
“Both,” I answered. “I have been trained with a dagger and a sword, as well as a bow. I have also been trained on how to fight, hand-to-hand.”
Surprise and respect settled into his features as he looked down at me. “That is not common for the women of Solis, and especially not for one who was the Maiden.”
“It’s not,” I agreed. “But I was so helpless when my parents died. I was a child, but my mother hadn’t been able to fight back. If she could have, she might’ve survived. I just…I didn’t want to be helpless like that again, and so many people, especially women, never have the opportunity to learn how to protect themselves. They have to rely on others—on the Ascended—and I…I’m beginning to realize that further strengthens the absolute control the Ascended have.”
“But they allowed you to learn how to fight?”
Imagining the Duchess’s or Duke’s reaction to such news, I laughed softly. “No. My guardians would’ve had an absolute fit. But, honestly, I always thought…”
“Thought what?” he prodded when I trailed off.
I wasn’t sure if I should share this, but something about Alastir put me at ease, and maybe that something was how much he reminded me of Vikter. “I always thought Queen Ileana would’ve approved if she’d learned that I could fight. I don’t know why I believe that. It’s just that…the Queen I knew—”
“Isn’t the Queen others know,” he supplied, and I nodded. “People have many different sides to them. Even the Ascended. How did you learn to fight?”
“One of my personal guards taught me in secret. His name was Vikter.” A knot lodged in my throat and stayed there as I told Alastir about him and the risks he took. “He was like a father to me, and I…gods, I miss him so much.”
Alastir had stopped walking as I spoke of Vikter, but he still held my arm. “He sounds like an amazing man.”
“He was, and I—” I blinked back the hot rush of tears. “He should be alive today.”
His gaze searched mine as he said, “And he died at the hands of Descenters who were following Prince Casteel’s lead? How were you able to move past that?”
How? My stomach dipped. I hadn’t moved past that. “I don’t think I will ever get over that.”
“And yet you’ve fallen in love with Casteel? He may not have held the sword—”
“But they killed in his name,” I finished for him. “I know. Casteel knows that. He knows that he is responsible, and I know he loses sleep over it.” My mouth dried as I said, “It hasn’t been easy, but what I feel for him has nothing to do with Vikter.” The lie rolled off my tongue smoothly enough. Maybe too easily. My heart lurched as wind beat at a nearby window. “Nothing about Casteel and I has been easy. I thought he was someone else entirely when we first met, but I started falling for him even then.” And gods, that was the truth. “And so, here we are.”
“Yes, here we are.” Alastir gave a close-lipped smile as he shifted my arm so his hand held mine. “I’ve known Casteel since birth, as well as his brother. I knew his father before then, and his mother even longer than that. I remember when the Queen was married to a different King,” he said quietly, and that alone told me that he was far older than I anticipated. “Casteel is like a son to me. In reality, he would’ve been a son of mine if fate had played out differently.”
Would have been a son of mine? “What do you mean?”