Eventually, the warmth that both of them radiated, the steady, deep rise and fall of their chests, lulled me back to sleep. Sometime later, I drifted on the fringes of sleep once more, brought there by a whisper. A calling. A name.
“Poppy…”
Chapter 43
My entire being seized in recognition of that voice—one I couldn’t pull from the depths of my imagination no matter how hard I tried.
But it was him—that was my father’s voice calling my name.
My eyes opened to misty darkness and…and golden lamplight, and I realized I wasn’t awake.
I was there once more, thrust back into the night that ended in blood-soaked screams.
“Poppy-flower, I know you’re down there. Come out,” he called. “I need you to come to me, Poppy-flower.”
Chest twisting, I followed the sound of his voice, my lips moving but the voice coming out of me sounding so much younger. “Papa? I was looking for you.”
“You found me, like you always do.” The shadows pulsed and thickened in front of me, taking shape. He was tall—the tallest person I knew. “You shouldn’t be down here, my baby girl.”
I stared up at him, wishing I could see his face clearly. “I wanted to go with you, Papa. I’m not scared.” But I was. I was trembling, and my tummy hurt.
“You’re such a brave one, but you shouldn’t be down here.” He knelt, and eyes that matched mine took up my whole world. “Where is your brother?”
“With that woman who had cookies, but I want to be with you and—”
“You can’t go with me.” Cold hands landed on my shoulders, and his face seemed to piece together. Square jaw covered with several days’ worth of hair. Momma called it a beard and often complained about it, but I saw her rubbing her fingers over it when she thought Ian and I weren’t looking. Straight nose. Dark brows. Eyes like pine. “You need to stay here and keep your mother and brother safe.”
“This is her?” another voice asked from the darkness. A stranger’s voice that wasn’t completely unfamiliar.
“This is my daughter,” Papa answered as he looked over his shoulder before smiling at me, but the smile was all wrong. Too tight. “She doesn’t know.”
“Understood,” the voice came again, still familiar.
I didn’t understand what he meant. All I knew was that he was going to leave, and I didn’t want that.
“What a pretty little flower.” The cold hands touched my cheeks. “What a pretty poppy.” Papa leaned in, pressing his lips to the crown of my head. “I love you more than all the stars in the sky.”
My breath choked. “I love you more than all the fish in the seas.”
“That’s my girl.” Shouts from outside drew him away from me. “Cora?” he called for Momma. Only he ever called her that.
She drifted from the shadows, her features pained as she took my hand in her cold one. “You should’ve known she would find a way down here.” She looked behind them, to where I couldn’t see. “You trust him?”
“I do. He’s going to lead us to safety.”
Papa turned to me. “Stay with your momma, baby.” Cold, cold hands touched my face again. “Stay with her and find your brother. I’ll be back for you soon.”
Mist poured in, taking Papa with it as it thinned out. I could hear his voice. He was speaking, but I couldn’t make out what he said. I started to follow because I knew he wouldn’t come back—
“Don’t look, Poppy. Don’t look over there,” came Momma’s hushed voice as she pulled on my hand. “We must hide. Hurry.”
Confused, I tried to see her as she led me through the wispy void. “I want Papa—”
“Shh. We must be quiet. We must be quiet so Papa can come find us.”
I stumbled after her, tripping when she stopped.
“Get in, Poppy. I need you to get in and be very quiet, okay? I need you to be as silent as a mouse no matter what. Do you understand?”
I shook my head. “I wanna stay with you.”
“I’ll be right here.” Her damp, icy hands touched mine. “I need you to be a big girl and listen to me. You have to hide—”
A sound came, a shout that caused Momma to…to disappear for a moment. “You’ve got to let go, baby. You need to hide, Poppy—” Momma froze.
Time stilled as we stared at one another. Her skin thinned, revealing the delicate bones beneath. I shrank back—
“I’m sorry,” a voice whispered.
Momma was yanked away from me. I stumbled after her, but it was too late. There was nothing but mist, and all that remained was her voice, her words. “Howcouldyou?”
“Momma?” I whispered, stepping forward, unable to make out what she said.
What a pretty little flower.
What a pretty poppy.
Pick it and watch it bleed.
Not so pretty any longer….
A hand gripped my arm, the skin paler than mine, spotted with red as leaves rattled like dry bones, and a low rumble filled the air. Shadows surrounded him as he tugged on my arm, the edges of his darkness washing over me—the edges of his black cloak covering me as I stumbled. He too was tall, but his face was a voice shrouded by cloth.
I needed to see his face.
I needed—
I was thrust back toward the screeching and the howls. And the fog—the mist that was around me and in me. It started to break apart, and the rumble grew below me in the ground. And a voice, a voice that sounded like spun gold and windchimes whispered “stop, stop, stop” over and over.
But I couldn’t stop. I needed to see his face. The man in dark moved away, like a memory slipping through my fingers. I followed because it was important. This memory. Because someone else had been there with Momma. Someone who didn’t want to be seen. I staggered forward—
“Poppy!” The voice was a jolt, a strike of lightning, and my eyes opened.
The mist had thickened in front of me, a whirling, churning mass. Specks of gold blinked in and out from within.
“No farther,” the voice whispered, a voice so pure it was almost unbearable to hear. “What you seek is not to be found here.”
“Stop.” The mist solidified, took form, and became more golden. It was tall. She was tall. Tumbling waves of hair the color of fire twined together. A face blurred, but eyes the color of molten silver burned through the mist. Through me. “Go home. Take what is yours, and you will find what you seek there. The truth. Go home.”
“Who are you?” I whispered. “Who—?”
An arm snagged me around the waist without any warning, drawing me back against a warm, hard chest. There was the scent of dark spices and pine as my feet were swept out from under me, and we went down, landing hard on the ground.
“Poppy. Gods. Poppy.” Casteel turned me in his lap, one hand palming my cheek. He was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling rapidly as tendrils of mist drifted over his too-pale face. “Dear gods, Poppy, what in the hell were you doing?”
“I…” I looked around, seeing nothing but thick fog and Kieran standing above us, staring behind me and breathing just as heavily as Casteel. Confusion swept through me.
“What the hell were you doing?” Casteel demanded again, giving me a shake. His breathing was harsh, forming quick clouds in the cold. “You could’ve—you would’ve been broken, Poppy. Broken and shattered in a way I would never be able to fix.”
I didn’t understand what he was talking about, but he looked…he looked like I’d never seen him before. Terrified. Eyes wide and luminous, even in the mist, the planes and angles of his face stark.
He clasped my cheeks with his gloved hands. “I told you not to wander off.”
“I…I didn’t,” I told him. “I was sleeping—I was dreaming. I heard…I heard my father calling my name—”
“Fucking mist,” Kieran growled, waving a hand angrily through the thick white.
“No. No. It was a dream, but it was real. I mean, it was pieces of the night the Craven attacked. Someone…someone else was there at the end.” I started to pull away, but Casteel stopped me. “He was dressed, cloaked, and he was there that night.” I twisted in Casteel’s grip. “I was trying to see his face. If I could only see his face, I’d know who he was. I just…”
My lips parted as I stared into nothing. It wasn’t a void simply absent of light. It was an end. A vast nothingness waited beyond the edge of a…cliff.
“Oh my gods,” I whispered, shuddering as I realized how close I’d come to stepping off into…into nothing.
“It was the mist,” Casteel said, his tone too gentle as he guided my stricken gaze back to his.
“She stopped me,” I whispered.
“What?”
“Didn’t you see her? She stopped me. Oh, my gods.”
Casteel smoothed his thumb across my cheek, along the scar there. “No one else was here. It was just you and the mist.”
“No. There was someone else.” I looked over my shoulder, toward the emptiness. “I heard her voice. She kept telling me to stop, and then she appeared in front of me.” I turned back to Casteel. “She was right there. Where there is…there is nothing. She told me to go no farther. That the truth wasn’t here. She told me to go home and to…” I started shivering, and I couldn’t stop. “To take what was mine. And that I would learn the truth.”