Meredith sat on the edge of the bed and her hand slipped into Dice's big palm easily. His gaze was set on Dean and his expression was stony, creases of uncertainty marring his forehead and cheeks. There were deep pockets underneath his eyes and it was evident that Dice had not slept a wink yet.
"I am. These men. They've surprised me. Gone above and beyond and I don't know what to make of that. Not with them."
"I thought that was what SEALs did. They fought for one another," Meredith said, squeezing his hand.
They were close enough so that their knees touched one another, Dice sitting on a stool by the bed. He had changed out of his tactical gear, now in a pair of simple dark gray sweatpants and a shirt with the squad's logo on it. He'd never looked more handsome to Meredith than now, grizzled and battle worn, but safe and by her side.
"They do. But these guys? They're … They're animals."
"You say that like you think you're not one of them," Meredith said.
Dice looked up, his gray and hazel eyes betraying some of the depth of his thoughts, though Meredith could read him well enough even without those gorgeous eyes of his telling her half the story.
"I guess that's what I'm afraid of. I'm exactly like them. But I judged them for what they are, for what they've become to survive. I don't know their stories, Meredith. I don't know why they are what they are, but they helped me, helped us and I've come to see that I'm no better or worse than any of them. I don't think any of them acted any crazier than I did during all of this."
"Just goes to show that it takes the 'right' kind of circumstances to bring out the insanity in all of us," Meredith said with a smile. "I'm glad you've come to grips with your team, Dice."
He chuckled and it was a weary, humorless sound.
"I think it'll take more for us to really become a team that way, but yeah. I can see what we're fighting for now and they deserve my loyalty and my trust. They gave me theirs, for spirits know what reasons."
His gaze flicked down to the gray, concrete floor at his feet and Meredith couldn't help herself. She leaned over, cupping his face in her hands, and made him look up at her. His eyes were muddled with pain and a modicum of shame, an emotion clearly targeted at himself for having been as combative and untrusting of his men as he had been. There was a lot of healing to be done in the squad but they'd made a start.
"You're the kind of leader they need, Dice. Someone who has seen the darkness, fought it and come out on the other side as a better man. They've shown you that they can grow and be the kind of shifters and the kind of soldiers you need by your side and that's all you can ask for, I think. They'll forgive if you learn to forgive them for what they are as well."
He smiled softly and in an instant, Meredith found herself being cradled in his lap, pulled to sit on one of his wide, strong thighs.
"How have I managed to survive without your smart little mouth telling me everything I needed to know for all these years, baby?" he asked playfully, pecking her on the tip of her nose.
She grinned and threw her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek in return.
"I'm not sure, Dice, but I'm glad you have. I think we can both promise to make sure that we'd never let that happen again."
"You can say that again," Dice said, looking at Dean and making Meredith direct her gaze to him as well. "It's not about just us anymore. It's about our family."
Dice's words were quiet and low, as much of a promise as they were a statement of the obvious. Both of them were willing to go to any lengths for their child and Meredith's heart blossomed at the knowledge that she'd never have to fight anything alone again. Big or small, Dice would be there.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, simply enjoying one another's company. Only when Dean stretched out his chubby little arms and legs and blinked open his eyes did either of them really move again, happily transfixed by watching their baby boy rest.
Meredith picked Dean up in her arms and he yawned as she settled him on her knee. He rubbed his eyes and Dice ran his hand through the boy's dark auburn hair, just like his daddy's.
"Your grandfather would have loved to meet you, Dean," he said, his tone solemn.
The boy looked at him, his eyes wide with the same recognition Meredith had seen in them during the chopper ride as well, when he'd sat on Dice's lap the whole entire time. Even without having spent time together, both the father and the son seemed to know exactly who they were to one another and what kind of a bond tied them to one another.
It was magical in a way and something that Meredith was excited to explore further. It was one thing to have a baby, but a whole other world to raise a shifter boy who had a father like Dice Alderson to look up to.
I am a lucky woman, she thought, and the thought made her giggle.
"What is it?" Dice asked with a smile, Dean joining in with a tiny laugh of his own, his eyes sparkling.
"I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have both of you with me now. I don't remember when I last thought I was lucky in any way."
"I'll make sure you can feel like that for the rest of your days," Dice promised, pulling them both into a hug.
It felt safe, warm and secure. Everything like it should and her heart beat in her chest with twice the strength as it had before.
Meredith was about to reply to him when a quick, raspy knock sounded at the door. Dice sighed audibly, checking the watch on his wrist with a look of pure annoyance.
"We're going to have to continue this later, baby," he told her softly, to which Meredith replied. "Coming!" he then yelled as a response to whoever was at the door.
"What's going on?"
"We get to go through the less fun bit of this day," Dice said with a grumble, helping Meredith up on her feet.
He took Dean into his arms, the boy perfectly happy with it, and then Meredith took Dice's hand again as he led both of them out of the windowless room.
Ironically enough, now the dark and dreary surroundings didn't bother her at all. She could make her own sunshine with Dice and Dean by her side.
Twenty-Four
Dice
Even with Dean and Meredith with him, Dice was on edge.
There were too many unanswered questions, too many problems to solve or find out the solution for.
Thor had appeared as a ghost in the night at the compound. His timing had been perfect but his reasoning for it still eluded Dice. The sniper hadn't said a word edgewise to explain himself and Dice figured the man preferred it that way. There was no doubt that Dice and the rest of the squad owed their lives to Thor – he and The Firm operatives he had brought had cleared out the upper levels of the compound where The Arctics' guards had been regrouping to strike in a unified force and wipe out the crippled Shifter Squad Nine.
It was obvious that with Price almost dead, Rio and Dice injured and with a group of civilian scientists to take care of, the squad would not have been any match against a controlled assault.
Now, Dice was walking through the spacious bunker to the central room, where he knew he would have the great joy of 'facing the music' as it were. He hadn't pressed the topic of how Thor had gotten the equipment and the two squads worth of men he had brought with him, but it didn't take a damn genius to figure out how he'd made it happen.
Spade.
The name carried equal measures of disdain and relief in it as Dice stepped into the room, his hand instinctively tightening around Meredith's. Spade's cool, cold gaze rippled over him like the icy waves of Nordic seas, chilling him to the bone, yet doing nothing to put out the flame of anger in his chest.
Spade had been his friend and a man that he owed his life to. But he was also the same man who had known for years where Meredith was and he'd done nothing to help her or even notify Dice of it. Furthermore, Spade had concealed Dean from Dice, an action that Dice could never see himself forgiving the man for.
"I see we're in high spirits," Spade said lightly, leaning against the back wall of the room.
He had two men with him, built like brick walls and looking in front of them stonily. Neither one of them was as tall as the towering intel operative, but then again it was difficult to look as petrifying as the black-clad ghost did. Spade flashed a grin at Dice and it took all he had to keep from giving Dean to Meredith, crossing the room and kicking his ass again.