I can't stop myself from smiling at my new, albeit unlikely, friend, though I'm pretty sure he wouldn't hesitate if I agreed to sleep with him. But having him here actually does put me at ease. Just as much as the Dark, along with other paranormal beings, seem to be drawn to me, I feel as if I am just as attracted to them.
I nestle into the crook of his shoulder and shift my legs onto the couch. The tranquil feeling we experienced on Halloween returns and we both let out an audible sigh as we continue to laugh at Will and his antics.
By the time Niko leaves for the evening, it's after midnight and I am exhausted. His goal was to ensure that I stayed in for the evening and he certainly succeeded. I didn't even feel the need to drink in order to numb the pain and loneliness. And with Morgan having plans with Miguel for the night, that was exactly what I was planning to do before he showed up.
When I enter my bedroom, I jump with fright at the sight of Dorian sitting on my bed. He's dressed in a dark tailored suit though he has ditched the tie and unbuttoned the top few buttons. His hair is its usual dark, tousled and oh so sexy style. It's hard to believe that his effortless beauty even exists.
"Dorian," I gasp. "What are you doing here? And do you not know what a front door is? You're gonna give me a freakin' heart attack!"
The corner of his mouth curls into a smirk. "Sorry."
I busy myself with pulling out a tank top and some boxer shorts before shimmying out of my jeans, wholly aware of Dorian's heated gaze. "So why are you here?"
"I wanted to see you. And I felt it was best if one of us were here. There's no way I was going to let Niko spend the night. And don't think I don't know how touchy the two of you are."
I turn to assess his venomous expression. Is Dorian jealous? "So you're here to stay over? Won't your fiancé get worried and wonder where you are?" I gag at the thought.
"Gabriella, we don't live together. She stays at her condo and I still have my suite. Nothing has changed."
Now that's news. "Oh. So you two aren't … " I try to finish my thought but just can't bring myself to do it.
"Hell no. I love you. Do you think I could go through with something like that?" Dorian almost looks offended at the insinuation.
"I don't know. You are engaged. And you do plan to … procreate so you obviously have to sleep with her someday. Plus Niko told me that you all aren't as strict with things like sex. Like it's no big deal to the Dark."
"Well, it's a big deal to me," he replies standing and striding over to me. He grasps my bare hips and pulls my body into his. "The last woman I made love to is currently half-naked and pressed against me. And when she looks up at me with those big hazel eyes and bites her bottom lip in anticipation, all I can think about is how bad I want to feel her again. How I would do anything to bury myself in her for hours and hours until she is too exhausted to move. Until she tells me that she'll never leave me."
The desperation in his voice causes an audible gasp to escape me, rendering me absolutely speechless. God, how I want those things; there is nothing that I could imagine wanting more. But I've led with my desires before. I've pushed aside sense and logic to sate my body's craving. And look how far it got me. Now all I have is a broken heart, a killer (still) out to get me, the impending doom of my ascension, and a borderline drinking problem.
"I want you, Dorian," pushing out of his grip and contradicting my words. "But until I know we can actually be together, I can't go down that road with you. It will hurt too badly when we have to say goodbye again."
Dorian sighs and hangs his head before nodding. "I know, little girl. And I would never ask you for that. Can I just stay with you? To ensure you are safe tonight? I won't touch you if you don't want me to. I can just sit and watch you sleep like I usually do."
My face tenses into a frown. "Uh, that's kinda creepy. Do you really come here and watch me sleep?" A shiver runs up my spine. What else does he watch me do? My stomach roils at the possibilities.
"Only when you call me."
"Call you? What the hell? I don't call you, Dorian." I think back to my lowest points. Could I have drunk dialed Dorian?
Dorian smiles. "In your sleep you do. I don't go around stalking you if that's what you're afraid of. But I can feel you calling out to me at night sometimes and I come to you. You'll be thrashing around, tangled in the sheets. You dream about me." He runs a hand through my hair and a frown dimples his forehead. "And sometimes when you're asleep, you cry. It breaks my heart into pieces to see you so saddened knowing that I caused your anguish. I just want to kiss away every tear you've ever shed and make it better. You have no idea how bad I want that, Gabriella."
"I cry in my sleep?" I ask with a wavering voice. I suddenly feel sorry for myself. How much has losing Dorian really hurt me? I have hardly let myself cry over the loss and to know that those tears were so desperate to get out that they made their escape while I was unconscious kind of depresses me.
"I'm sorry," is all he says in response. He feels responsible and though he is partly to blame, I can't put this all on him.
I finish slipping into my sleeping clothes under his lustful gaze and retreat to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Then I slip under the covers of the bed that has felt so cold and empty since Dorian left it.
"Well, are you getting in?" I ask him still standing in the middle of the room dressed in his suit.
"You want me to sleep with you?" he asks with a raised brow.
"Well, I damn sure don't want you staring at me all night like some type of creeper while I drool," I chuckle. He still looks confused. "Yes, Dorian! I want you to sleep with me. Sleep though. Not sleep-sleep with me."
Dorian's face lights up with a beaming smile as he makes his way over to the bed. He takes off his suit jacket and steps out of his shoes before pulling back the covers.
"You're not getting in like that. Either lose the stuffy clothes or put on some pjs."
"But you know I don't have any. We never had a need for them when I was here." He waggles his eyebrows suggestively, causing me to giggle.
"Fine. Just take off your shirt and those pants. You do have on underwear, correct?"
"I'd be happy to lose those too," he grins.
"Uh … No! No! Um, yeah, not such a good idea," I stammer, unable to tear my eyes away from the pronounced bulge in his boxers as he lets his pants fall to the floor. "We should probably keep those. Yeah, uh, definitely … shit."
Dorian chuckles at my flustered tirade and I cover my face to hide my embarrassing blush. After he is stripped down to his undies, he climbs into the bed next to me, instantly rekindling the warmth and security it once exuded. He pulls me into his arms and without a second thought, I lay my head on his warm chest. His hand begins to stroke my hair and the tension that had strained every muscle begins to unravel.
"Do you think this could work? Do you think one day we could actually be together?" I murmur against his skin. I reflexively take a whiff and revel in his scent. Ahhhh.
"Yes. We just need to be careful. And you need to trust me when I tell you certain things. Things that may be difficult for you to understand at first but necessary."
I take a deep breath and muster up all my courage, putting the nagging voice in my head on mute. "Ok."
"Ok?" Dorian lifts me slightly and pulls my chin up to meet his gaze.
"Ok. I'll try. If you say that this is all a ploy and things will work out for the better, than I'll try to wait."
Dorian crushes my body to his, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "Thank you, Gabriella," he breathes, his voice cracking with emotion. "You have no idea how happy you have just made me."
"I can tell," I squeak under his bicep that's about the size of my head. "Can't … breathe … "
"Oops," he mutters, loosening his hold but refusing to pull his arms away. "I know this doesn't mean that we are together. But just the possibility that one day we will be is enough for me. I've waited so long for you. I can't lose you now. This will work. Just trust me, little girl. It will work."
"I just hope you're right," I reply, forcing a smile and trying to let Dorian's radiant warmth and love blanket the doubts clouding my jumbled mind.
***
"So I wanted to talk to you about the job you've been doing here, Carmen," I say, ushering her into the stuffy back office.
Carmen furrows her brow and horror washes over her. "Oh gosh, Gabs. What did I do? I know I was late last week, but I seriously had major cramps!"
I chuckle heartily and wave her off. "Relax, Carmen! You've been doing great here! Better than great. I just want to see how you would feel about taking on some extra responsibility."
She sighs her relief before leaning against the closed door. "Ay dios mio! You had me worried! You've been so up and down lately; I didn't know what to think!"
"No, it's nothing to be worried about. But I do need some help. Now that I am technically the owner," I say with air quotes, "I need to start delegating some responsibility around here. And there is no one I could think of to fill those shoes but you."
Though acquiring Cashmere totally threw me for a loop, I decided to keep it rather than selling or letting it crumble to the ground. It had become home for more than just me and I knew that everyone here was dedicated to their job. Plus, there's no way I could put seven devoted employees out of a job just because I got dumped. Since then, I have been trying to make Cashmere my own and even toyed with changing the name.