By the time Dorian's lips are at my neck, I am a writhing, panting mess. I want him on top of me, all over me, and inside of me. And the fact that he is restraining himself, refusing to touch me in all the ways I know he wants to, is driving me insane.
He buries his face in my neck and inhales, groaning his relief. The visceral sound rumbling his chest stimulates my already damp sex and I squeeze my thighs together. He does it again, brushing his lips against my collarbone. The feel of his skin on mine, his intoxicating scent, the feather-soft tickles of his hair, pushes me to a place where all I know are my carnal instincts. I can't fight them. And a part of me, the impulsive part that shuts down all logic and reasoning, doesn't want to.
"Dorian," I breathe, my eyes tightly shut as sensation takes over me. He doesn't stop yet his actions don't go any further. Dammit! I just want him to touch me. "Please."
Dorian lifts his head from my neck, his now sparkling eyes meeting mine. "Please what, little girl?"
"Kiss me," I find myself saying before I can change my mind.
Without the slightest indication of movement, Dorian is on his back and my lace covered breasts are pressed against his hard, bare chest. "You have to do it, Gabriella. You have to take control. Because the moment I feel your lips, the second I taste your sweet tongue, I won't be able to stop. If you want this, you need to show me. I need you to take it."
The look of sheer need and passion on his face resembles my own and I know that I am a goner. I don't even bother to argue with myself about all the reasons this is not a good idea. I crush my lips to his and let his flavor nourish my body and soul after over a month of famine. His taste- all eroticism and freshness- scream of comfort and healing. As our tongues slide together, our hands roam the bare skin of our torsos. I feel like he could very well shatter me in this moment with just a kiss. And if it were to happen, I wouldn't object.
The gravity of our actions hit me like a ton of bricks and I pull away begrudgingly. "Wait!" I command, my palms pushing my body from his chest. "What are we doing? With everything that happened … with you and me. You are engaged. What about Aurora?"
Dorian's primitive growl vibrates my breasts, perking my nipples. "Fuck Aurora!" he grits before pulling my face back down to his.
Well … can't argue with that.
Our bodies remain fused together for what seems like hours. I hadn't had a make out session like this since … ever. Any and all things involving him completely surpass any experience I could ever imagine. And while I can feel the strain in his taut muscles, struggling to not take this too far, the bulge in his pants clearly wants to.
As I relish in our skin to skin contact, the doubt, the frustration, the sheer confusion seem to evaporate. I know this is wrong; I had never been the cheating type. But this is Dorian. And like he has always told me, we were not meant for this world. I need to stop trying to fit into my human mold. And when it comes down to it, knowing that I can share this with him and it is me whom he desires- not Aurora- gives me a sliver of triumph.
After kissing ourselves stupid, I lay in Dorian's arms, tracing little circles on his chest as he plays with my hair. This feels so right, so real. It's as if the last month or so was a terrible nightmare and this is my reality. And even with Solara's words still ringing in my head, telling me I was not meant for this, urging me to turn away, I let myself savor the stolen moments with the man I so desperately love. Lord knows if I could turn it off, I would. Because my true reality, the one that keeps trying to resurface from the depths of my denial, is that Dorian still isn't mine. He will return to his world- a world that I am not destined for. A world where he belongs to Aurora. A world where the sad little boy inside him still wants his father's approval. I know I have to choose; I either have to let him go for good or choose to wait for him to return to me.
Chapter Twenty One
I never understood how people got hooked on drugs. It just seemed pretty stupid to me. Like, why would you take something that you knew could fuck up your life and turn you into something that you don't even recognize? Like the shriveled carcass of yourself? Now I understand. I could relate. Because since Dorian came to my room where I let him breathe me, allowing the moment to turn into a searing, endless kiss, I knew I was addicted. Just as he, evidently, was addicted to me.
Dorian is my drug. I am a freakin' fiend.
That was over a week ago, and I still can't swallow the taste of him from my mouth. I told myself that I would be strong and not call for him. But every time my cell phone signaled a call or text, I wished like hell it was him. Every time I stepped into my room, I prayed he would be there waiting for me. I knew it was a dangerous game we were playing and I didn't care. My body craved him, just like it did the very first time I saw him. And every day that ticked by without him, it felt like I was crawling towards death.
"You got it bad, baby girl," Niko says shaking me from my depressing thoughts.
"Huh?" I ask with glassy eyes. I drop my hand from the diamond pendant around my neck that I had been absentmindedly fiddling with while lost in thought.
"You wanna tell me why you got me over here on a Friday night and we're not naked?" he chuckles.
I look back at the devastatingly handsome Warlock on my couch. "You're the one who showed up at my doorstep. And what makes you think I would get naked with you on any day of the week?"
He shrugs. "I'm just usually not fully clothed at a woman's house. Or a man's, for that matter."
My eyes nearly bulge right out of my head. "What? Are you trying to say that you're bisexual? That you play for both teams? That you like to double dip?"
Niko smirks, and I shudder at how much he resembles Dorian when he does that. "We don't put a label on sexuality, Gabriella. We aren't limited by human taboos. We do what we feel. We, the Dark, are free to express ourselves intimately with whomever we please." He runs his hand through his blonde highlighted perfectly messy hair and gives me a mischievous grin. "But no, I'm not bisexual. I was just seeing if you were paying attention. I've experimented but it was never my thing. I prefer the tight, warm feel of a woman."
"Oh," is all I can say in response. His words make my face flame and I look away to mask my discomfort.
"Geez, girl, you are easy to ruffle!" he laughs. "So what movie are we watching? Got any popcorn?" He stretches his arm across the back of the couch and kicks his feet up on the coffee table.
"Ummm, what are you talking about? Who said anything about a movie?"
With a wave of his hand, the TV flickers to life. "Well, I'm not leaving and you already turned down my offer of the best sex of your life," he snickers, "so I figured a movie would be appropriate for two platonic- although amazingly sexually attracted- friends to engage in. What kinda stuff are you into? Chick flicks, action, drama?"
I roll my eyes at his statement and shake my head. "Fine. Anything funny. And don't try to put on some porn to try to trick me!" I say heading to the kitchen to make some microwavable popcorn.
"Damn! You're no fun!" I hear him exclaim behind me.
As we are enjoying the insane comedic delights of Will Ferrell and munching on Jiffy Pop, I turn to Niko who seems overly comfortable reclining on the living room sofa. "Niko, what made you come tonight?"
"What do you mean?" he asks not even bothering to turn to look at me.
"I mean, why did you just show up? Last time I saw you it was Halloween and Dorian instructed you to watch me. Now you're here. What's up?"
Niko exhales and turns down the volume before turning towards me. "Father's here."
"He is?" I ask, my voice laced with shock and horror. "Why?"
He ponders his words carefully before answering. "Preparations. And your little meet and greet with the Light hasn't set well with him."
"Is he really gonna be a hypocrite like that? I mean, he sent his own son to seduce me then tried to do it himself. Your dad's hot and all but he's a real asshole," I let slip out, clamping a hand over my mouth.
"You think Father's hot?" he replies with disgust. "Yet, you turn me down? Really, Gabs? He's like 6oo years older than me!"
"I didn't mean to say that. And it isn't the age thing, obviously. Just be glad that I actually like you, Niko. Your father is a fucktard though."
Niko breaks into guffaws over my assessment. "Yeah, I guess you're right about that. But he's the king. What can you do, ya know?"
"So you don't agree with the way he is?"
"No," he shakes his head. "I think what he did to your dad and to Dorian is unforgivable. He's done a lot of crazy shit but everything he's put D through is just heinous." He winces at the memory.
I nod. "Is that why you do it? Why you watch over me?"
"No. I watch over you because D asked me to. He's my brother and I owe him as much. He's saved my ass enough times to span a human lifetime. And I do it because I like you and I don't want to see you get hurt."