I take a deep breath, my head swirling with questions. I don't even know where to start. How do I even formulate all this into words?
"I … know. Who you are, what you are. I know," a hoarse voice croaks. I can hardly recognize it as my own.
Dorian's expression darkens instantly, his mouth turning up into a menacing snarl. Even his eyes have turned cold and icy, and I swear I can feel my blood freeze over. He takes a step back, holding the door open wider.
"Come in."
Come in? I've just told Dorian that I know he is an evil, sadistic mythical creature and he wants me to come in? Hell no!
Dorian sighs, letting his eyes close for just a moment before looking to me. They are full of emotion- sorrow, regret, anger. Why?
"It's ok, Gabriella. I won't hurt you. I want you to come in."
And as crazy and stupid as it sounds, I believe him. I have to. The man before me is my heart and soul. Every part of me screams for him, yearns for him. And even if he has lied to me, I can't deny what I feel for him. I just can't turn it off. And I seriously hate myself for that.
I square my shoulders and will my shaky legs to carry me forward into the suite. Even as I pass him, even as our bodies meet with the slightest brush of the shoulders, I am on fire for him. Even as fear flows through me in staggering ripples, all I want to do is bury myself in his arms and let him ease my trepidation. Trepidation I feel for him.
How stupid can you get, Gabs?
The reality of Dorian's real reason for being here nudges me and I am reminded of Chris's terse words. Dorian doesn't care about me. He doesn't want me. He is completely incapable of ever loving me. I need to let those truths fuel what's left of my courage.
I spin around, my survival instincts kicking in. No matter what I feel for him, he can't be trusted. All pathetic signs of adoration are erased from my face, replaced with disdain and anger.
"You can relax. I won't attack you from behind," Dorian mutters, clicking the door closed. He walks past me and heads to the bar to pour himself a drink, downing it in one hefty gulp. He refills then pours one for me as well.
"You won't?" I ask flatly, taking the crystal glass from his outstretched hand. I take a sip, my throat not even registering the burn.
"No," he responds before running his hand through his silken locks. "That's not how I … operate."
"But you will. You will hurt me. That is what you were sent here for, correct?" I take another sip, hoping it brings me one step closer to absolute detachment. It hurts too much to feel.
"Yes." Dorian downs his own poison before looking back at me devoid of all emotion.
"Why?" my quivering voice cracks. "So all this was a lie? I'm just an assignment? A target? You really are some murderous piece of shit? What the fuck, Dorian! Why?!"
I wait for an answer yet Dorian simply continues to stare at me blankly. Doesn't he want to explain himself? Doesn't he have anything to say? He just continues to stand there, unreadable and unfeeling. His silence infuriates me and I can't contain my agitation. Even my fear can't override my temper.
"Ummm, hello? I'd appreciate an answer, asshole," I spew angrily. Still, Dorian remains silently impassive, causing wrath to take over. "So it's true. You really are a cold-hearted prick who preys on defenseless young women. What kind of man are you? That's sick, Dorian. You are one sick, sadistic fuck."
Somehow my harsh words pierce through his stoic guise and Dorian's mouth twists into a vicious snarl, bearing his gleaming white teeth. His eyes narrow menacingly and have lightened into the palest of blues, too frightening to be beautiful. And his face- a face so unbelievably gorgeous that I lose all sense of coherent thought- shifts into a place of pure evil.
He is no longer my Dorian. The man I love is gone.
"You stupid, little girl," he seethes. Even his voice has lost its velvety tone, becoming more of a guttural growl. I flinch in response, too consumed by fear to run or scream. What good would it do anyway?
Dorian's head snaps forward faster than my eyes can see. "You think I wanted this? Any of this? You think I wanted to come to this little, miserable town just to hunt some silly girl? Babysit you like a toddler? You are so fucking clueless, it infuriates me! Don't you understand? Don't you get it? I. Have. To!"
Dorian's tirade slices through me like a blade, leaving me open and bleeding. I bring the crystal glass to my lips in an attempt to mask my trembling bottom lip. I can barely taste the scorching liquid as it makes its way down. Then without thinking, without even considering what this could mean for my own preservation, I bring my arm back and push it forward with all my might, slinging the glass directly towards Dorian's head.
Without flinching or batting one of long lashes, Dorian's eyes flicker up to its approach, halting the glass in mid-air just as it is centimeters from his face. He holds out a palm and it easily falls into his grasp.
"Don't do that again. I am a patient and understanding man, Gabriella, but I won't tolerate your tantrums," he says with an amused smirk, abandoning his darkness. And just like that, the Dark monster trying to crawl its way to the surface is caged. He is back to being my Dorian.
"Or what?" I scoff, stupidly trying to provoke him. "You already want to kill me. What else could you possibly do?"
Dorian shakes his head. "I don't want to kill you. At least the rational part of me doesn't."
"And the irrational part?" I hold my breath awaiting his answer.
Dorian's eyes find mine, flashing white hot before settling into crystal blue. They are full of confusion and loathing. Reluctantly, he nods. "That part of me- the pure, incomprehensible evil- wants to slaughter you right here and now and be done with it. I want to drain every ounce of life from your body, strip you bare of the essence deep inside you. Then discard your pitiful carcass like garbage."
He swallows then cringes, as if his mouth tastes of bile. "I'm Dark, Gabriella. It's my nature to feel those things, to want you dead. I can never change that. The very thing that draws me to you is the very thing I hate."
"You don't mean that," I find myself whispering.
"Yes, I do. And you have to accept that. I'll never be anything other than Dark. No matter how much I wish I could be."
"So what, then? What does this mean?" His indecisiveness is maddening. And here I thought I wore that crown.
"It means that you have a choice. Align with us; ascend into the Dark. Or I will kill you. And I'll like it."
Of all uncontrollable reactions to have at his ominous confession, I laugh. A crazed, delusional laughter that bends me over at my waist, howling as tears stream down my face. I can't explain it; I can't even stop it. And judging from the scowl that creeps onto Dorian's face, he is not pleased with my outburst.
"That's insane, Dorian!" I breathe between guffaws. "All of this is insane! Shit, maybe even I am insane. Because here I am, in your hotel room listening to you describe killing me like it's a fucking sport, and I am seriously trying to make sense of it. Like I can't even accept that you really are a heartless, disgusting animal. Unbelievable!" I howl.
"Calm down, Gabriella," he warns.
"Why? Why calm down? I'm dead anyway. Hell, why not make it even easier for you?" I screech, throwing up my hands. My laughter begins to shift into rage. "Do it, Dorian. Get this shit over with. All those times you had me sprawled out, naked, while you played with my mind- my heart, for Christ's sake- you could have just done it. Why wait? Why continue the charade?"
Dorian sets down the glass in his hand and takes a small step toward me, his expression tortured. "That's not what it was."
"No? Well, what the hell was it?!" I scream. "You know what, never mind. Just do it, Dorian. I'll never side with you Dark fuckers. Ever. So don't waste your time. Besides, you have already killed me a thousand times over with your lies so let's just get this shit over with. Unless you can't; unless you are too pathetic to actually do what you came here for."
"Watch it, Gabriella," he seethes between gritted teeth.
I am taunting the beast inside him, but my slain pride has taken the reins. He has hurt me, and in turn, I want to hurt him. It's the only way I know how to deal with this pain. It's what I've always done when my heart has gone into defense mode.
"You are a coward. My father trusted you. He thought of you as a brother. And this is how you repay him? By fucking his daughter, you sicko?" I stare him down, disgust etched in my face. "I pity you, Dorian. You are a pathetic waste of power. All you had to do was kill a defenseless girl, and you can't even get that right!"
As if I have flipped some imaginary switch, all humanity drains from Dorian's frame, his body transforming into something dreadfully wraithlike. The bones in his body crack and contortion, wisps of grey vapors writhing around him. His face, pale and ashen, resembles something out of a horror movie- deep set, icy eyes, menacing snarl, razor sharp teeth. Even the air around him trembles in response. His skeletal form lurches towards me, stopping inches from my terrified face. I'm too petrified to even fix my lips to scream.
"Is this what you want?!" Dorian seethes. "You want to see me like this? You want me to hurt you? You want me to end you right now?"
I take in the daunting apparition before me, swirls of blackish smoke enveloping him like a toxic cloak. He is beyond my worst nightmares, encompassing all things evil and cruel that exists in this world and beyond. But even I know that this is a different brand of darkness. This is no ordinary nightmare. He truly is the epitome of Dark.