As if my heart and my pride could take another blow, Dorian releases my hand, replacing it with the taut flesh of Aurora's backside. She gasps in delight, her eyes fixed on Dorian's, her breathing wild with a flood of ardor. He slides her skirt up to her hips, his hands kneading her exposed tight mounds in a black lace thong and pulls her into his lap. She straddles him, leaving only centimeters between their wanting mouths. I can't bear to witness this. I can't stand the torture. Yet I can't look away. I need to see this. I have to see Dorian in his element, even if he is at home with Aurora.
He is visibly aroused; they both are. And I am certain that if it weren't for my presence, he would be inside her. Why isn't he stopping? He said he'd feel my pain and he would try to stop. Maybe he can't. Maybe the carnal beast within him has taken over and my Dorian is no longer present. Maybe he really is Dark to his core.
Faster than I can comprehend, Dorian flips Aurora onto her back with a low guttural growl, completely forgetting my miserable existence just inches away. I'm sobbing, drowning in a pool of my own sorrow. He easily pops the top buttons of her blouse and buries his face into her neck and chest, inhaling fiercely. Aurora moans and writhes under his weight as he continues to knead her ass and back, sucking in mouthfuls of her sweet scent. Her hands pull at his slick, black hair as he delves into the apex of her full breasts, the bridge of his nose skimming her round swells. Low groans and ringing moans fill the room, joined by my strained, anguished cries. I should leave; I should run out of this suite right now. But love and devotion hold me prisoner. I am a prisoner of Dorian's love. And right now he is torturing me, killing me. Yet I make no move to run to freedom. I sit and witness my own death.
"Stop!" Dorian shouts hoarsely, his voice full of emotion. He pushes away from Aurora and sits up. "Go," he commands.
Aurora stands on shaky legs, visibly drunk off Dorian's intensity. She smiles at me lazily. "He's all yours," she whispers as she adjusts her disheveled clothing then staggers out of the room and down the hall.
Dorian gazes at me with sorrowful eyes. He knows what he has done. He knows the brutality I have just experienced. In a swift movement, he is on me, caressing my body furiously. He kisses my face, my neck, the tops of my breasts. And being the desperate sycophant that I am, I let him. Even knowing that just moments ago, his face was buried in Aurora's cleavage, his hands grasping her backside. What am I doing? What is happening to me?
"I'm so sorry," he murmurs into my skin. "I'm so sorry, my love. I love only you. I want only you."
My sobs grow louder as I hear his words. He loves me yet he has hurt me. Deeply wounded me like no one has ever done. And I've let him. I let this happen; I encouraged it. I deserve this punishment for it was my own doing.
"I know," I cry into his chest. I try to hush my whimpering yet I can't seem to catch my breath. I'm pathetic- a driveling mess of nauseating self-loathing.
"I'm so sorry. I love you. I love you," he breathes, finding my mouth.
His hands wipe away my mascara- streaked tears before knotting in my tresses. The kiss deepens, cutting off my cries and I begin to melt into his arms. Even after his assault on my heart, he is the only one that can soothe me. Only he knows the depths of my depravity, because he is just as dark and twisted. Two equally confused, pathetic, fucked up souls.
I can't even comprehend how I could be aroused after witnessing the sensual exchange between Aurora and Dorian, but I am. And as disgusting and weak as it makes me feel, I am panting as he slides my panties down my legs exposing my dripping wet sex. I want him; I want to show him that I can make him feel good too.
Dorian stands long enough to unfasten his pants and relinquish his hardness. He pushes my dress up to gather around my waist before urgently entering me, burying his shame and apologies in my warmth. I murmur his name repeatedly as he digs himself deeper and deeper, filling me until I choke on my own gasps. His rhythm is rushed and unconstrained. He is running away from his corruption. He is trying to escape his darkness. But no matter how deep he delves, no matter how hard he thrusts, no matter how good it feels, he is who he is. He is Dark. My Dark Prince. And I am just as Dark for loving him.
Chapter Six
"I am so sorry, little girl. So, so sorry," Dorian murmurs into my hair.
It's late or very early, and somewhere between my earth-shattering orgasm followed by more pitiful sobs, I dozed off. Dorian's naked body is lying beside me, tightly twisted around my frame protectively. I know he is full of regret but we both know it was necessary. Aurora had to let him breathe her. I just didn't expect it to be so sexual, so erotic. I can only imagine how sex was for them, and though I try to dispel the thoughts, they keep creeping back up into my mind. I'm not like them, not yet, at least. Everything about them is extraordinary from their physical perfection to the intangible way they move. Of course I can't even begin to wrap my head around it. It is not meant for me. We are from two different worlds.
"Did you sleep at all?" I whisper hoarsely. I am still too ashamed to look at him. Ashamed because after what I witnessed, after what he did to me, I still let him have me.
"No. I can't. Not when your pain cripples me so. I am so sorry."
With a huff, I turn to gauge Dorian's expression. He is clearly anguished though he looks better. Younger. His eyes have returned to their dazzling azure color and I can tell that his skin has returned to its warm olive complexion in the dim lighting.
"It's ok, Dorian. I'm ok. It had to be done. We both knew it'd be uncomfortable. I just didn't expect it to be like that," I say, my voice cracking at the end. "Is it always going to be like that? When you need to be fixed?"
"Yes. But I hope to not need to breathe anyone else but you. Ever. Do you understand why I was so reluctant to see you every day? I didn't want to need that. To need Aurora."
"Yes," I nod. Had I known that our close proximity would result in him needing anyone else but me, especially Miss Painfully Perfect, I would have been less demanding about him spending each night with me. But I needed him. My addiction for him grows stronger every day. "Is there anything we can do? To ease the … cravings?"
"It's harder now. Now that we are linked. But I'll look into it. For now, we just have to make every moment together count."
I look at my love thoughtfully. He's right. I can't dwell on something I can't control. "Was it hard for my parents too?"
Dorian shrugs. "Since they were both powerful in their own right, their exchange wasn't as … staggering as it is for you and me. You are enticing for all forces, not just the Dark and Light. There will be those that want to harness that power for themselves."
"Is that what you want to do?" I whisper before I can stop myself. I was thinking it; it was not meant to be heard aloud.
Shame flashes on Dorian's face momentarily. "Part of me does. It feels so … good. Strong. It's in my nature to want it. And I've only had a taste, only a fraction of how potent you will be. But taking it from you would kill you, and I could not bear that."
"You said that if I stop loving you, you would die. What if I died? What will happen to you?"
Dorian chews his bottom lip as he ponders my question. "I will live."
"And if you die, what happens to me?"
"You will live."
"What if you stop loving me? Will that kill me?"
Dorian looks at me gravely. The talk of death has made him uneasy yet these are things I need to know. "Yes. It will. But I would never do that. I can't."
I shake my head exasperatedly. "Dorian, I don't know how the Dark view the idea of commitment, but you have basically linked us for the rest of our lives. You aren't going to want me forever. And as soon as something or someone better comes along, I will die. Do you understand that? It will kill me if you leave me!"
"Do you plan on wanting someone else? Is my love not enough for you?" he asks in a level voice. How can he be so calm about this? We haven't even defined our relationship, for crying out loud!
"No, Dorian, of course not." It's the truth; no one compares to him. He is my heart and soul. He is my everything. "But you have to know that this scares me. You say that you could never stop loving me, but how do I know that's true? And don't tell me because you can't lie! I know that. You don't know what the future holds for us. What if ascending changes me? What if I really do become some freak?"
Dorian chuckles lightheartedly and as always, his laughter makes me smile despite the morbid nature of the conversation. "That won't happen. Ascending will bring out every remarkable quality in you and then heighten it times ten. No, a hundred. You'll be more amazing than you already are. There won't be a force on Earth that could deny your power. They will worship the ground you walk on."
Wow. Could I really handle all that adoration? Not to mention the huge burden of responsibility. "And then what? What would be expected of me?"
He shrugs. "All I can hope is that we will be together, no matter what you choose."