"You, of course. And my family. I have that need to protect what I consider mine, you know." He met my gaze, his dark eyes serious. "I know you hate when I say that. The ‘mine' thing."
"Yes, I do. I don't belong to anyone but myself." I sighed. "And you see that as me being difficult."
"Gloriana, I made you vampire. To me it's simple. I'm responsible for you. It's been bred into me not to shirk my responsibilities." He touched my cheek. "And then there's the fact that I love you. So I want to keep you safe. It's a strong need that I can't seem to deny. No matter how many roadblocks you throw in my path."
"I guess most women would be honored, would let you have at it." I sighed at the touch of his hand. "I just wish we could be together without complications."
"What you see as complications, I see as simply the way things should be." He tugged me closer. "You are so damned stubborn about this. Is it because of Valdez?"
"Don't put this on him. It's all about me. Because I have to be free to choose my own way. To fight demons by his side. Or make love with you." I threw out my hands. "Or even spend time with Ray if I wish."
"You ask a lot, Gloriana." Jerry withdrew his arm and stood. "I don't know if it's in me to share you like that."
"I know." I didn't cry, my eyes suddenly very dry as I felt that truth down to my toes. "I've always known, Jerry. But I don't want to lose you. So my wish is that you'll work on being less, uh, I hate this word, but controlling."
"That is a harsh word." He ran his fingers through his hair and walked around the coffee table to pace the length of the room. "But I learned to do it at an early age. It's what a commander must do to his troops."
"I'm not a troop." I leaned back, glad we could talk calmly about this.
"Of course not." He stopped, his back to the TV. "I'm trying to explain where my attitude came from. Da taught it to me as a boy. Along with the way the men in my family have always treated their women."
"Oh, yes. Don't get me started on that." I leaned forward. "You know your father isn't exactly a good role model for you. Your parents have been separated for more decades than they've been together. And when they're together, it's like being in the middle of a battlefield."
"True enough." Jerry started pacing again. "'Tis the fate of the Campbell men to love strong women, it seems. Bloody hell, but I can't just talk this out and suddenly be a different man for you, Gloriana, much as I'd like to be."
"Obviously. Or I think you would have done it long ago. You've always seemed motivated." I stood and walked over to him. "I'm just asking for an end to this constant jealousy. To this feeling I get that I have to hide things from you, tiptoe around you or you'll go off."
"You are hiding things from me?" He grabbed my shoulders.
"See? That's all you heard." I stepped back. "Stop it. Don't do this again. No, I'm not hiding anything. Or I don't think I am." I put my hand to my head. What I'd told Jerry or what I hadn't seemed impossible to keep straight right now and I wasn't sure I had it in me to even try.
"Come here. Let me hold you." He pulled me into his arms, which felt way too much like a safe haven.
Oh, but it was seductive. I was feeling much too vulnerable after that whole demon incident with Flo. It was tempting to just take the easy way here. My head hurt, my stomach still rolled and Jerry's broad shoulders could take on everything, even demons.
And those evil slimes were always watching, apparently, just waiting for a chance to swoop in and try their luck with anyone I came in contact with. It was enough to make me want to put my head down on Jerry's strong chest and weep. Who would they try for next? Ray? Another "easy takedown" as Spyte had said.
"Gloriana, sweetheart. You're shaking. I don't know what those bastards are doing to you, but please let me help." Jerry picked me up and carried me to my bedroom. He laid me on the bed and knelt beside it. "Let me get Richard involved. He helped before, didn't he?"
"He's furious with me. He won't let Flo within miles of me now." I stared at the ceiling. "Not that it will do any good to keep her away from me. Now that they've started in on her, I don't have to be around for them to do their seduction routine. This was just their first pass."
"You're not responsible for Florence's soul. If she's weak, that's her fault." Jerry held my hand. "And anyone else who gives in to their offers, it's on their heads, not yours."
I looked at him. "So why can't you say that about Rafe? He isn't making these demons do anything. They promised they'd be satisfied with Simon and the Energy Vampires. That, if we get them, they'll leave us alone."
"And you believe them?" Jerry shook his head. "Haven't you learned anything from this latest incident?"
"You're right." I sat up. "We've got to make sure the demons know that after this they're never welcome in Austin again."
"That would be quite a trick." Jerry got up off the floor to sit on the bed beside me. "How on earth could we do that?"
"We? So you're in? You think you could work with Rafe and me to do this?" I grabbed his hands. "Without getting into a fight over it?"
"I'll do whatever it takes to make you safe. And if it means giving up jealousy." He winced. "Well, I'll be working on that. Maybe there's a twelve-step program I can join."
I hugged him. "There is! I'll get online and find a meeting for you here in town."
"Seriously?" Jerry had obviously been bluffing and I'd just called him on it.
"Seriously. Bottom line, either you trust me or you don't. I've told Rafe we're done. Do you think I'm so weak I can't resist him?" I leaned back and gave him a look that meant business.
"No. You've proved time and again that you aren't weak, my girl. You're getting stronger all the time and I love that about you." He leaned down and kissed me. "So the fault here is mine. I'll go to the bloody meetings and do whatever it takes to prove I want us to work."
"Thank you, Jerry. And I take blame too. I betrayed you. You have reason to wonder about Rafe, I know that." I kissed him this time, showing him how much I loved him.
"Now all we need to do is survive." Jerry held me close. "I'm talking to Richard. He can't guard Florence twenty-four-seven. He'll want to help us send these demons back to hell and he's something of an expert with these matters. Am I right?"
"Yes, you are." I actually began to feel hopeful. Which was Jerry's power. His confidence that he could always put things right.
Jerry brushed my hair back from my face. "You look like you're feeling better."
"I am. Talking isn't such a bad thing, you know. We needed to clear the air." I pulled Jerry down to the bed. "Now I bet we have an hour before Penny gets home. How about we seal the deal on this promise you just made. One of the twelve steps is making amends. I'll lie here while you show me how sorry you are that you ever acted jealous of my men."
"Oh, I am very sorry." Jerry came down on top of me. "And I may have twelve different ways of showing you that, my love."
Jerry decided to leave just as Penny and Trey hit the door a few minutes before dawn. I was relaxed and naked in my bed and didn't bother to get up. But I could hear well enough as Jerry and Penny made plans to drive to San Antonio with the rats the next evening.
I made my own plans. I was going to church the next night. I'd been with the demons enough to feel positively filthy with evil. An evening of joyful music and the positive message from Pastor John at the Moonlight Church of Eternal Life and Joy would go a long way to restoring my soul.
When I woke up, I waited until Penny had showered, then listened to her excited chatter about her date and her meeting with Jenny the night before.
"I did what you said. Kept my cool and wasn't alone with her at all. We squeezed them in at the bar and Jenny tried to get me to go to the bathroom with her so we could gossip, but I wouldn't do it." Penny laughed. "Totally blew her mind. But I just kept going to hang out with Trey who had door duty and left her with her date. That solved the problem." Penny flushed. "She thought Trey was cute too. Was totally jealous. I read her mind."
"Why not? Anything else good in there?" I sat in my robe, thinking about trying to call Flo to see if my friend might go to church with me. Would she pick up if she saw on the caller ID that it was me? Sure she'd been all BFF last night, but Richard had probably been giving her an earful since then about my bad influence. And I couldn't blame him.
"She wasn't too happy with her date. Thought he was immature compared to Trey. Didn't help that his fake ID didn't pass at the bar. That embarrassed her." Penny had a really wide grin. "Can you believe she was jealous of me? Even liked my skirt!"
"Well, there you go." I patted her knee, then nodded toward the door. "Jerry's coming up the stairs. Get the door."
"Oh, yeah. We're taking the rats to a guy in San Antonio who has some homes lined up for them." Penny got up and unlocked the dead bolts. "Hi, Mr. Blade. I'll start bringing out the cages."
"Good evening, Penny." Jerry walked over and dropped a kiss on my lips. "Gloriana." He noticed Penny had disappeared down the hall and ran a hand inside my robe. "Mmm. Sorry you're not going with us. I assume you're not, since you aren't dressed yet."