He was trying to convince me that even though they were criminals they still cared about their town.
"My father was good friends with the sheriff, Bill. Crawford's father."
I raised my eyebrows, well shit. Both boy's followed in their father's footsteps. And a sheriff, friends with a member of an outlaw motorcycle gang?
"Bill knew the club was up to shit, but turned a blind eye, as long as shit didn't spill into his town, there was an uneasy understanding. So the club grew, more brothers joined, got charters around the country. I watched the club grow, all I wanted to do was get patched in, soon as I could. Then shit went down with the Spider's, a rival gang who didn't like the Son's controlling a big portion of weapon sales in the East Cost."
Whoa, that sounded serious. I thought about the damage those guns did, killing people, widowing women like Rosa. My jaw hardened.
Cade noticed, his body stiffening but he carried on.
"Things came to a head when I was fifteen, a year off being able to prospect with the club. The Spider's attacked the club when they were on a run, hell of a firefight, my father was killed among others." Cade spoke clinically, his voice emotionless.
I saw that it still hurt him though, those wounds hadn't healed.
I stroked his face softly. "I'm so sorry honey." I whispered.
"Long time ago Gwen, I'm good with it." He lied. "Anyway, with my father dead and me being too young to take over the club, Steg stepped up. He was my father's best friend. Ruthless bastard, but I respected him, hell I looked up to all the brothers. He was power hungry though, shit still is. Some of the brothers were hesitant about keeping in the gun business after loosing friends." He looked at me, I nodded to keep him going.
"Others wanted revenge. I admit, I was a fucked up teenager full of anger, I wanted to kill everyone of those motherfuckers. Steg's a real smooth talker, he kept everyone in the business, the money was too sweet anyway. He took me and Rosie in, looked after us, as well as he could."
I was surprised at this, there was obviously something going on between them now, Cade didn't seem to be feeling the love for his fathers best friend.
"What about your mother?" I asked carefully, remembering the woman in the photo.
Cade laughed coldly. "She took off when Rosie was two, wasn't cut out for being a mother. Held her down too much, at least that's what she told me."
"Shit." I whispered, feeling sad for Cade, not being able to imagine not having a loving devoted mother.
"Don't pity me babe." Cade growled, face hard.
"She was a crappy mother, did us a favor by leaving. Rosie suffered not having a woman around but Dad did his best. She still comes to town every now and then. My mother. Stays for a couple of weeks then takes off."
He looked at me. "We're not talking about my family history though. You want to know about the club. What we do."
I gulped, I did want to know about his family, but I needed to know about the club first. Needed to know if I could handle being around to learn about his family.
"Do you still run guns?" I asked, voice small.
Cades face was stony. "Yeah babe we do."
My stomach dropped and I felt dread creep up my throat. Could I deal with that?
Cade took my face in his hands, his eyes searching mine.
"Trying to get away from the guns babe, few of the brothers like the money but not to keen on the risk, especially after Laurie."
I flinched at the mention of Laurie. "That was because of the guns?" I asked, wondering if I would get the honest answer.
Cade seemed to be contemplating what to say before reaching a decision.
"Mostly, yes. Spider's have always hated us, but things picked up when we tried to cut in on some of their customers."
So many thoughts were running through my mind at the moment I didn't know where to begin to process this.
"We are going to go legit Gwen," Cade promised. "Been trying to get the club to do it for years, most of the reason behind the boys sticking with the guns is the money, so I've been acquiring legitimate businesses owned by the club to get us some of the same income. Garage does well in its own right."
I was intrigued. "What other businesses does the club own?"
"Valentines for one."
Wow that was a surprise, a classy joint like that being owned by bikers, that made me smile.
Cade's expression lightened a bit. "Yeah that was Lucky's idea, fucking goldmine that place."
"What else?" My mind was ticking over, wondering about the sincerity to his words.
"Couple of bars and a strip club next town over."
I narrowed my eyes. "Strip club?"
"Yeah babe." His face was blank as if telling your girlfriend you owned a strip club was as normal as telling her you liked Vin Diesel movies.
"Just a strip club? Or does it specialize in happy endings?" My voice was dangerous.
"Don't peddle pussy babe, strictly stripping." Cade's voice had an edge, like he was almost finding my reaction amusing.
"How involved are you in the running of this club?" I asked, trying not to sound like a crazy jealous girlfriend. But I was feeling like taking a drive to this strip club and burning it to the ground. Or at least checking it out.
Cade smirked, definitely finding this part of the conversation amusing.
"I check in every now and then, take care of the books and most of the security side of things." His eyes were twinkling.
I didn't say anything else, chewing all of this information over. So not only was my boyfriend selling weapons, he also ‘checked in' on a strip club. And looking like him I bet he got a fair share on attention. But I was focusing on the wrong bit of information, owning a strip club wasn't against the law, but selling guns on the black market sure as fuck was, those guns weren't used for good deeds.
"Babe." Cade's voice brought me out of my head and I saw an almost worried look in his eyes. Strange, he always seemed so under control, but he seemed rattled.
"Give me a second."
I didn't move off him, I doubt he would let me anyway, his arms were tight around me, bordering on painful, relying some emotions he wouldn't verbalize, he was scared of losing me. I thought about the reality of what he did, aside from it potentially landing him in prison for a long time, it also put him in a huge amount of danger. I already worried sick about Ian, now my mind would be constantly wondering if my boyfriend was going to be arrested or shot. He said he wanted to get out of the business, he sounded like he meant it, the look of disgust while he was explaining it convinced me. But how long would that take? And I'm sure not all of his brothers would be happy with that idea. Plus I'm pretty sure you couldn't just inform dangerous people, ‘Sorry we don't want to sell you guns anymore, don't worry we won't tell anyone about your illegal activities, as long as you keep us off your Christmas card list.
I bit my lip. Shit!! I really knew how to pick them. I felt Cade's fingers softly brush my mouth.
"Hard for me to concentrate on not claiming that mouth when you do that baby." Cade said softly, eyes intent on mine.
I felt down to my bones, that this was special. What we had, it was not something you threw away easily, we seemed to be moving at warp speed, which felt insane and right at the same time.
"You're serious about getting rid of the guns?" I whispered.
"Never been more serious about anything in my life." His hand circled my neck. "Well until recently." He added.
My heart leapt at the statement but I needed to know. "How long will it take?"
Cade paused before answering. "Don't know babe, been working my angle for a while now, making progress. But this shit moves slow, it's hard to get these men to see some different way of life when this is all the now."
"Ballpark." I demanded.
Cade sighed. "A year, at the most. Things are already in motion."
I contemplated this. Would Cade and I be together in a year? My heart told me yes, my head didn't know what to think.
"Planning on you being in my life for a while Gwen, you will be around when the club turns legit." He said firmly. "If you decide this doesn't change anything. I want you, like I've never wanted anything in my life, I want to make sure every fucker in the world knows you're my Old Lady, that no other asshole will touch you. I don't want this shit with the club to taint you, to jeopardies us."
"Old Lady?" I repeated quietly, knowing the meaning behind that term, the commitment it represented.