Cimil grinned, her smile stretching from ear to ear. "Guilty as charged!"
"Tell them you do not mean that, my little sweet-and-sour pork bun. Tell them you are sorry." Roberto looked troubled. That was a first.
"But I cannot, my pharaoh-licious vampire. I do not regret a single moment. And don't you think, given that I was the one condemned to being Ms. Mageddon, there needed to be one teeny tiny consolation? Something in it for me?" She shrugged. "I happen to enjoy watching them squirm."
Penelope didn't know what to do. It was all so complicated. "Cimil? Do you have anything else to say?"
Cimil looked at her and said, "Whatever you decide, I ask only that you take mercy on my unicorn, Minky. She didn't mean to kill everyone inside that male strip club, but the leather thongs really riled her up!"
"Okaaaay." Penelope sighed. "I call a recess so that we may decide sentencing."
"Tootles!" Cimil wiggled her fingers. "Come on, Roberto, I gotta pee like a leprechaun."
"Cimil," said Roberto who followed closely behind her, "why are you so happy? This is very serious." He halted abruptly. "Wait. You've got something planned, don't you?"
She winked. "You'll never know."
Five hours later
The deities filed into the crowded courtroom. Everyone fell into an instant hush as the gods took their seats.
Penelope had lived through the hardest afternoon of her life. She'd wanted to remain objective, but given her personal involvement with both deities, it had not been easy. That said, she'd come to realize the entire situation was one of puts and takes, bitter and sweet, tragedy and joy.
Just like life.
And just like life, one could choose to focus on the ugliness, which some of the deities certainly had, or focus on the good. In the end, people and gods simply chose what they wanted to see, which is why it took them five entire hours to come to a decision.
"Zac and Cimil, please rise before us for sentencing."
The two moved to the middle of the floor.
Penelope took a regret-filled breath. "Zac, we recognize that you were ruled by emotions, and that love can make us do crazy things. But your deceit and betrayal of your brother, and of me, cannot be ignored. I only hope that your punishment helps you see that love isn't about getting what you want at all costs, but giving everything of yourself for the happiness of the other. Love is selfless and hard, but it is never selfish and never justifies risking the life of an innocent child. Zac, for your crimes, we sentence you to banishment. Your powers will be neutralized, and you will live in the human world until we see you've truly learned the meaning of love."
Zac stared straight ahead without the slightest reaction. Penelope wasn't at all surprised. He was too proud to show any sign of weakness.
"Cimil, your acts of cruelty and disregard for the feelings of others are unspeakable. Yet we are also grateful to you for all that you have done for everyone. I hope you fully appreciate how gracious we are being because of this." She paused for a moment. "You are also, hereby, stripped of your powers and sentenced to live in the human world."
Penelope looked at them both. "It seems you both need to learn a lesson about empathy and selflessness. You will remain in the human world until we feel that you've evolved."
Cimil huffed. "That could be forever!"
"Well," Penelope said, "you seem to have a knack for helping others find their mates. And Zac, you desperately need to learn firsthand what real love is. So, in addition to banishment, you will both serve hard time. You are hereby sentenced to help one hundred immortals-your brethren, our vampire friends, the Payals, any immortal-find their soul mates. We hope that putting you in the front lines will help you see the error of your ways."
"This is ridiculous!" Zac barked. "I'm not going to play the role of fucking Cupid!"
"Remove him from the court," Penelope commanded the soldiers.
"The injustice of it all!" Cimil screamed in a southern belle accent. "I've given y'all reason to live! I saved the godsdamned world! And this is how you repay me? I am going to swoon." She pressed the back of her hand to her forehead.
Penelope looked at Roberto. "I suggest you remove Ms. Scarlet O'Ham before we change our minds. And Roberto? Congratulations. I recommend you find a really, really good nanny."
Roberto nodded and scooped up Cimil. He looked utterly relieved, likely because he still got to be with the love of his existence.
Cimil squirmed and flailed her arms, putting on an over-the-top show. She was such a horrible actress. "You Yanks haven't seen the last of me!"
Zac, Cimil, and Roberto and his vampires disappeared from the courtroom.
"Wow. That was intense. And strange." Penelope shook her head.
Kinich took her in his arms. "You did well, my love. And they both will be the better for it."
But it pained her to see Zac suffer even after all that he'd done. However, it was time to move on.
"As for Chaam, based on today's hearing, he is absolved of all wrongdoing. He will not go to trial." She looked at Chaam and Maggie. "We wish you nothing but the best in your life together."
Maggie and Chaam embraced.
"Wait." Emma stood from the second row. "You never said anything about my grandmother. What about her?"
Crap. They'd entirely forgotten about Emma's grandmother. She'd been abducted by the Maaskab, her brain poisoned with their magic, and ultimately became their leader. She'd since been captured and cured, so they believed, but there was little track record to prove if the dark energy truly left one's system.
Penelope looked at Emma. "I think the best course of action is to keep close tabs on her. Twenty-four-seven surveillance until we know for sure she's no longer a harm to anyone."
"I would like to be her observer." Everyone looked at the older gentleman in the jogging suit. "Isn't that the ex – Catholic priest?" Penelope whispered to Kinich.
"Yes. It most certainly is," he replied.
"Father Xavier, are you sure?" Emma asked.
He smiled. "I am no longer ‘father,' but yes, I am sure. I've been spending a lot of time with Gabriela during her recovery. We've grown quite attached." He winked.
Okay. So now, they'd seen it all. The ex-priest had the hots for the ex-ruler of the Maaskab army?
Penelope shrugged. "Sure. Why the hell not?"
Epilogue Two
Eight months later
Máax opened his eyes to the sun shining through the glass doors leading to Ashli's private balcony. A large black-and-white photo of him, bare chested, standing on the beach while holding their new chocolate lab puppy, Poseidon, hung above the bed.
He smiled and shook his head. Ashli had taken up photography again and made him pose almost daily. Holding fruit, surfing, doing laundry, cooking. She said she'd never get over the excitement of being able to see him … and that he was not a chair.
Whatever. Anything to make her happy. Because that was exactly what she'd done for him.
Happiness was his for the first time in his existence.
Máax looked down at Ashli's sleeping form, her belly round with their baby. He rubbed her stomach with affection and imagined the beautiful child inside. His child. His wife. For the first time in seventy thousand years, he truly understood what love meant. She'd taught him that. Funny how it took losing that power and giving it to her for that to occur. Of course, Ashli had taught him many things.
After their reunion at the cenote, Máax began sharing his story with her-the years of isolation, the missions he went on to salvage unsalvageable situations (like Chaam's), and his reluctance to truly let anyone be a part of his existence. He also told her about the vision he'd had that day she'd hit her head and how the strand of light that connected them had been like a lifeline to his soul. Of course, Ashli insisted he had been the one to save her from her death wish, but he would never see it that way. She saved him from hell. And now, with her gift of love, she was determined to save others, including weekly counseling sessions for Zac and Cimil who'd opened up an immortal matchmaking service in Los Angeles. Both figured they'd turn it into a business and make some money while they served out their sentences.
Those two were such lost causes, but he loved Ashli all the more for trying to help them.
"Máax." Ashli sighed with contentment and then rolled to her side toward him. "I love you."