"So true, my friend. So true." The brunette, Jess, turned toward Ashli. "Look. You get one shot. One. Otherwise, that"-she pointed to the screen as a young man's head was removed; his blood spurted in the air-"is our future."
Ashli didn't understand any of this.
"You have to fight, Ashli. Fight hard. You have it in you to turn the tides. So don't mess this up." Jess snapped her fingers. "Oh! And you will forget we ever had this conversation."
"But I don't understand. I was at that party and some monster grabbed me. Then I was here and-"
"We're already breaking the rules by intervening. We can't give you any more help or the Creator will say we welched on the bet. Then it's game over. So now it's time to get out there and make it happen."
"But I don't know what-" Ashli blinked and found herself lying on the floor, that decrepit, horrifying monster standing over her, drool trickling from his mouth.
Ew, ew, ew!
She screamed for Máax, but he was somewhere among the ocean of tangled, brawling bodies. She was on her own.
But then something Máax once told her played through her head: "We fight every step of the godsdamned way, every godsdamned moment, for every godsdamned inch. We never give up. We never give in."
That's right, Ash. Never give in. Her entire body filled with strength from some unknown place deep inside.
"Let me go," she croaked. She dug her nails into the monster's finger and then felt a burst of tingles.
The pulsing lights flickered across the monster's face. Euphoric. He looked utterly euphoric.
"Ashli!" Máax's sweet, sweet voice filled the air. He tackled the monster, and both men fell to the ground. Ashli watched as Máax pummeled the monster into unconsciousness. She stumbled back, gripping her throat.
Máax sprang up and scrambled to Ashli. "Oh, gods," Máax's warm, husky frame enveloped her. "Are you okay?"
She glanced down at the creature. He had a giant shit-eating grin glued to his face. "What is that?"
"That was a fucking Maaskab. How the hell did he get in here? And why in the devil's name is it so happy?"
The mob riot continued to rage all around them. The pulsing beat of the music and flashing lights made it look like some bizarre interpretive dance-off. Not one person noticed what had just happened.
"I am so sorry, Ashli. Please forgive me for leaving you unprotected." Máax ran his hand down her back and pressed her cheek to his bare chest. "Are you sure you're all right?"
She pushed back a bit to touch her neck. "Yeah. I'm fine."
"Thank the gods, I made you immortal," he said.
"He said he wanted to eat my legs. I'm not sure that would've helped."
Another body whizzed by, bumping into them. Suddenly, images of this scene turning into a bloodbath flooded her mind. Was it a premonition? Similar to the dream she'd had right before her parents died? She didn't know, but dammit, this time she wasn't about to sit idly by and do nothing.
"For deities' sake," Máax groaned. "I need to stop this fight."
"No. I need to stop it." Again, Ashli remembered the whistle, and somehow she knew she needed to blow it. She spun in a circle, looking down at the ground. The monster had torn it off her neck, but it couldn't have gone far.
"What are you looking for?" Máax asked.
She caught a glimpse of the chain sticking out from beneath the monster's immobile body.
Ewww. Don't be a coward.
She reached down, pulled the whistle free, and dangled it in the air. "I'm looking for this."
"A whistle?" Máax said, clearly questioning her sanity.
She blew and once again felt a strange sensation pulse through her body and radiate out. Everyone froze in their tracks and the music stopped.
Suddenly, the entire crowd-deities, vampires, and Uchben soldiers-began laughing and toasting each other as if the knock-down, drag-out fight had never occurred.
She stared at the damned whistle in shock. How had she known to use it? And how the hell had it worked? "Ashli, where'd you get that?" Máax asked, astonished.
She shrugged. "Not really sure."
"Guess we can figure that out later. I think we're under attack." Máax cleared his throat. "Has anyone noticed my friend here?" he yelled, but everyone was too busy enjoying themselves.
Once again, Ashli blew the whistle to get their attention. "Hey!" All eyes were on Ashli. She pointed to the floor.
No one seemed all too shocked except for Brutus who pushed through the crowd.
"Shit." Brutus pulled a radio from his belt and directed all Uchben to their posts. "Everyone, please make your way to the back of the hall toward the elevators and stairs. You'll be safe in the underground shelter."
"Wait!" Cimil pushed her way forward. "I'm not letting one crusty little Scab rob me of my long-awaited victory."
"Cimil," Máax argued. "That is not important. The Maaskab are here. We must get our guests to safety."
She rolled her eyes. "That Scab is an army of one, bonehead. Roberto and his vampires exterminated the Maaskab over a week ago. You didn't think we'd lock up all the gods and let the Scabs have free rein, did you? I mean, I'm crazy, but not craaaazy."
Roberto appeared at her side. "It is true. We are amazaballs," he said stiffly. "Only a few got away, but we planned to hunt them later. Possibly for Easter. The older vampires are bored with eggs."
The crowd cheered and applauded wildly. Ashli guessed it was for the news of the Maaskab being exterminated, not for their creepy Easter plans.
Cimil took a bow. "There'll be time for lavishing me with ridiculous amounts of praise and gifts later. But for the moment, you may all show your gratitude by giving me my trophy!"
"You cheated." The man in the priest outfit stepped out of the crowd.
Ashli cleared her throat. "Everyone. Um … I saw the whole thing, and Cimil didn't cheat. I mean, yes, she made everyone look away, but she didn't grab any balls."
Cimil's tall vampire gloated. "In the last ten minutes, you mean."
"Uh-yeah. Sure," Ashli said.
"See! I won. The girl says so." Cimil flipped the priest the bird.
"Perhaps," the priest argued, "you did not steal any balls, but the momentary distraction gave you the advantage. You still cheated."
Mumbles of agreement erupted from the crowd.
Cimil sighed. "Okay. Perhaps my move was bit unsportsmanlike. I concede. We will have a rematch. By the way, does anyone else have the urge to perform an interpretive dance depicting the beauty of springtime? Or perhaps write a flowery haiku?"
A bunch of people raised their hands.
Cimil fell to the floor like a bag of wet cement, completely unconscious. Her vampire dropped to his knees. "Sweetheart? Sweetheart?" He gently slapped her cheeks and then placed his ear over her heart. "Cimil?"
Cimil grumbled and then slowly opened her eyes.
The vampire smiled with relief. "What happened, my love?"
Cimil sat up and rubbed her temples. "I don't know."
He helped Cimil to her feet. "Let's go find somewhere for you to lie down." The vampire walked the wobbly Cimil toward the exit.
"Wait." Cimil gripped his arm to steady herself. Her head whipped from side to side. "Other me?" She held her breath and listened. "Other me?" Cimil looked at her vampire. "Ohmygods, Roberto, she's gone! She's gone! We did it! We did it. We stopped the apocalypse!" Her two index fingers shot up in the air. "Victory, baby! Twice in one day!" Cimil started doing a strange two-fingered kind of disco dance.
"You no longer see her? At all?" the vampire asked.
"What's going on, Máax?" Ashli whispered.
"Your guess is as good as mine," he replied, just as astonished as everyone else witnessing the spectacle. "Except on Wednesdays when my guessing is nearly infallible."
Cimil turned toward everyone. "It's over! It's over!"
Máax stepped forward. "Cimil?"
"The apocalypse isn't coming!" she sang out. "My dead self from the future has finally disappeared! It means that we are all going to live."
Máax shook his head. "You had a dead self from the future? And the apocalypse is over?"
"Yes!" Cimil clapped excitedly, hopping like a crazy cricket. "The Universe works in mysterious ways, my brother. Of course, if I had held the tournament last year as scheduled, we probably could have avoided this whole thing, but I forgot to put the event on my calendar-got tied up with that Love Boat marathon." Cimil sighed happily. "But now, all is right in the world again. And you may all go on to have your babies, get married, and live long, happy lives."