Accidentally...Over?(35)

There, four men, all incredibly large with pale skin and unusually dark  eyes, wearing leather pants and slightly snug tees, huddled around that  Niccolo man, quietly talking. They looked like the kind of guys who ate  hornets' nests for breakfast. Or maybe knives.

Despite the eighty-degree weather, Ashli shivered in her matching red sandals.

"Máax?" She pushed a few stray locks of wet curls from her eyes.

His voice projected from the stairs behind her. "I am here."

She jumped. "I thought you were waiting down here."

Silence.

"Did you just shrug?" she asked.

"Perhaps," he replied coyly.

She rolled her eyes.

"I merely went to check on you," he explained, "but found the show much  too enticing to pass up. Who knew that watching a woman dress could be  as sexy as watching her undress? Especially when she puts on a black  satin thong and matching bra, handpicked by a deity."

The men in the room all made throaty, hungry, animal-like sounds.

Ummm. Okaaaay.

She shook her head. "You and I are going to have a chat about  boundaries. And by the way … " She leaned toward him and whispered, "Are  those … " She could hardly bring herself to say the words.

One of the men, thinnish, tall, and handsome with short dark, messy hair  and warm brown eyes, pointed to his ear. "We can hear you. Vampire  super-hearing. And you must be the notorious Ashli. It is quite an  honor." He bowed. "Not every day that a woman convinces a deity to give  the entire human race the middle finger. How did you convince Máax to do  it?"

"What?" She turned toward Máax-well, to where he last stood, anyway. She  really did need to put a bell on him. "What's he talking about?" Shit.  "And are they really vampires? Blood"-she swallowed-"drinkers?"

An invisible hand stroked her arm from the expected direction. "Nothing  to fear, my love. These vampires are good, complete assholes and  childish in every way including their addiction to Netflix dramedies and  Foosball, but good. They only dine on those with evil souls."

What the heck was Netflix? "Good to know, Máax, but," she whispered, "we  need to talk. Why is that vampire calling me notorious and saying you  gave everyone the bird? Why do I feel like we are being taken prisoner?"

"Máax," said Niccolo, "we really must leave. So please get your human under control."

Huh? Had he just spoken about her as if she were Máax's pet? "Excuse me,  but I don't recall the ceremony making any of you scary big dudes my  keeper. And let me remind you, you're in my house. Though it doesn't  feel like my house. But I'm told it's mine. So you can all climb a tall  tree and go scratch yourselves because I'm not going anywhere until  someone tells me what the hell is going on."

Niccolo and his men simply stood there staring, grinning like giddy fools.

These good vampires kind of remind me of clowns with all that smiling.  So creepy! "Okay. Out! All of you big, weird, smiling men, errr,  vampires whatever-the-infernum, just get out." Ashli shooed them toward  the front door.

"Gentlemen, I'm feeling inexplicably generous; let's give them a moment  to talk." Niccolo glanced at her and held up his finger. "A moment.  Nothing more. I have the sudden urge to write a love poem for Helena  before I get home, and I'm due in five minutes. I promised my daughter  Matty I would be home in time for My Little Pony."                       
       
           



       

Huh?

"Oh. Can I watch?" asked the vampire with the kind eyes.

"Sure, Sentin." Niccolo shrugged and headed out the door. "Winx is on right after."

The men, errr, vampires, followed Niccolo outside. "I really like that  Ashli," one of them said, "she kind of reminds me of Helena."

"Yes," Niccolo agreed. "I think Ashli will get along splendidly with the  rest of the girls. And she smells nice, too. Kind of sweet."

Sweet? Who's he calling sweet? She slammed the door behind them and  turned toward the loud sighing sound. "Máax? I'm going to give you one  chance to come clean. But I warn you, if I find out you withheld  anything, you'll never get my trust back again."

The ground rolled violently beneath their feet, and Ashli stumbled to the side. "Crap. What was that?"

"A sign. The end is near."



Máax stared at Ashli, feeling as though his heart might crumble like a  high-rise in the big one, to use an apropos metaphor; however, it wasn't  because of the earthquake, though that certainly sucked. It is the lie.

He wanted to ignore the uncomfortable feeling, but frankly, he'd never  experienced anything quite like it. His soul felt tainted. How long  would he stand it?

Think, man. You never intended to keep the truth from her, anyway. You  merely lied to get her here, to save her life. She will understand. She  will forgive you when she hears that you did it out of concern for her  well-being. You had no other choice.

Máax took a stiff breath. "Ashli, the truth is-"

"That was earthquake number eight! Sorry, bro!" A blur of leather pants swooped past him and swiped Ashli away.

"Dammit, Sentin. You fucking idi-" He felt a cool hand clasp his arm.

One moment he stood in Ashli's living room, ready to spill the godly  beans, and the next, he stood inside the Uchben prison in the center of  the main floor where his brethren yelled from their cells. Rather  loudly, he might add. Some hurtled insults at each other, some toward  the line of vampires standing guard alongside a rather large contingency  of Uchben. That's right, Uchben-the gods' human allies, each one sworn  to obey, serve, and protect humankind and the gods.

Oh, boy. This just got unnecessarily more interesting. For whatever  reason the Uchben were now assisting in the gods' captivity. Cimil must  have convinced them.

Máax quickly surveyed the chaotic scene before him and spotted his  beautiful Ashli in her red dress, a wild mess of damp curls pulled into a  sexy little knot at the nape of her neck, standing next to Sentin. She  did not appear to be afraid, more stunned really. Probably by the sight  of his brethren behind enclosed glass. Who could blame her? After all,  they were an eccentric lot. His brother K'ak, for example, wore a  metallic-silver toga and a two-foot-high silver-and-turquoise headdress  depicting intertwining serpents. K'ak still hadn't selected an official  deity title, like God of Giant Obnoxious Headdresses, for example,  because he didn't have a flagship power, but nevertheless he had many  gifts. Such as the ability to chuck lightning bolts, which he currently  did at the glass.

Then there was their sister, Colel Cab, the Mistress of Bees. One  couldn't help but stare at the enormous living beehive atop her head. Of  course, the bees swarmed in her cell, completely obscuring Colel. Then  there were the others: Akna, the Goddess of Fertility, so powerful that  even rocks couldn't resist multiplying in her presence (the Pet Rock  craze of the seventies was all her fault); Acan, the God of Intoxication  and Wine, aka Belch, who currently lay facedown on the floor next to a  beer keg, the hose sticking from his mouth as he suckled like a babe;  and Ixtab, the Goddess of Happiness, once known as the Goddess of  Suicide because her gifts of producing happiness depend upon removing  one's evil thoughts and redeploying them into another living  creature-usually an evil, sick, or dying person-and her incubus slash  vampire mate Antonio, aka the Spanish incu-pire. Or was that the  vamp-ubus? He couldn't remember. Then there was Camaxtli, the Goddess of  the Hunt, aka Fate, who looked like a blonde Wonder Woman carrying bows  and arrows in lieu of a lasso; Chaam, God of Male Virility, the master  of seduction, with signature nipple-length waves of black hair, and his  mate Maggie; Votan, the God of Death and War, aka Guy Santiago (words  could not describe what mortal women experienced when their gazes set  upon him) and his lovely, pregnant redheaded mate Emma; Zac, the God of  Temptation; Ah-Ciliz, the God of Eclipses, aka A.C.; and last but not  least, Kinich, ex – God of the Sun, the original golden boy, now  vampire-long, long story-and husband to his also-pregnant Penelope, the  current keeper of his solar powers and the official leader of the House  of Gods, although he and Penelope shared responsibilities.                       
       
           



       

Yes, they were an immortal zoo. But wasn't every family a collection of odd creatures?

Niccolo and one of his men sifted beside Máax, pushing him back. Máax stumbled and caught himself from falling.