Dark Wolf(80)

There was steel in his voice, and the butterflies in her stomach took  flight. She threaded her fingers through his to gain courage. "I'm  sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

He sighed. "Csitri, you're hurting yourself, not me. Why are you so upset over something we knew would happen?"

"I didn't really think it would," she confessed, more to herself than to  him. "Not once I committed to you. Every time we've made love it's been  so perfect. I honestly thought I could do anything because I do trust  you, Dimitri."

"You can do anything," he replied. "What happened here is nothing at  all. It will happen again and again at unexpected times and it's  perfectly all right. This is not a defeat. It isn't a failure. It simply  is."

Skyler swallowed hard. Allowing his wisdom to sink past hurt was  difficult, but his calm logic was difficult to ignore. He wasn't upset  with her.

She moved in his mind and all she could find was his love for her and  the memories they'd made in the field. She could see the image of  herself before him with the petals wrapped around her head, covering her  eyes, kneeling in the field of flowers. She did look beautiful and  sexy. Her body stirred all over again.

"I don't know why I lost you." That was the real problem. How could she  have let him go out of her mind for even a moment? That was all it had  taken, and she had allowed the monsters in.

"When we make love, the chemistry is very intense and powerful between  us," he said. He stroked a finger over her breast and watched her  shiver. "The slightest touch and our bodies respond. That's how it's  supposed to be, Skyler. Sometimes, when we're really enjoying what we're  doing, we get lost in the act of it, in the doing. It feels good, so  how could we not?"

"So I was thinking of myself, not you?" She tried to puzzle it out in her mind.

For months, long before she had committed to him, she'd thought about  whether or not she'd be able to perform oral sex when the very idea of  it terrified her. Whether she would like it. How to do it-could she  actually please him.

She had loved giving him so much pleasure. At the same time, it had  brought her pleasure. The field of flowers with his scent, the mask of  soft petals, even kneeling before him with her hands on his thighs,  feeling that heavy erection against her face, her mouth. All of it was  sexy and wonderful. She had gotten lost in the moment, her own body on  fire.

He shook his head. "You were definitely thinking of me, sívamet. Had  another man crept into your mind I would have banished him immediately. I  have always touched you gently. Reverently. Even when I become a little  aggressive, you can feel my love in the way I touch you."                       
       
           



       

She frowned. She hadn't considered that, but it was true. She loved it  when he was aggressive, but he was there in her mind, holding her to  him. She had always felt surrounded, even protected by his love.

"Shift, Skyler. Let's take to the sky. We can circle around together  above the trees and head home. I want you to feel who you are. What you  are. Carpathian. A formidable being without me. You have never needed me  to be strong. In your own right, you wield more power than most. You  are not insignificant or weak. You are Skyler. Dragonseeker. Mage. And  most of all, that elusive mother of yours we know so little about,  provided you with an indomitable spirit. That is your true self. We all  have monsters in our past. We shrug them off as no consequences because  we will never allow them to devour us."

Tears burned in her eyes again. She turned away from him and spread her  arms, calling to the bird in her mind to come forth. A night owl, one  that would take her soaring through the sky. Feathers burst through her  skin and for a moment the world around her shimmered into strange colors  and then she was in the sky.

She was lucky to have Dimitri. He saw her worth when she couldn't. He  held the way he saw her out to her, that strong love he felt, giving it  to her like a gift to wrap around her when she couldn't find her own  way.

It was impossible to cry, not for joy or for their lost moment, while  she was in the form of an owl. Instead, they flew together over the  meadow of flowers. Above them was a canopy of white stars and below them  there was that same sight, hundreds of stars looking up at them. It was  a beautiful sight, and one she knew few would ever see.

I love you, Dimitri. And I loved the ritual we performed tonight. I  loved seeing myself through your eyes. And I loved giving you pleasure  the way I did.

I was the one on the receiving end, csitri, so I will admit to you, it was a wonderful evening for me as well.

She took a breath and let her failure go. If Dimitri didn't see it that  way, then she wouldn't either. She had panicked. It was simply a fact,  and it probably would happen again. She knew it would take a long time  for her to accept those moments in the matter-of-fact way Dimitri did,  but someday, maybe a century or two away, she would.

She dropped down into the canopy of the forest, flying lower through the  branches, playing a little, as she had to maneuver through the openings  between boughs.

Don't get carried away, he cautioned, the male owl shadowing her flight.

She changed direction abruptly, dropping out from under the male,  swooping through a narrow opening to glide low over the grass growing on  the forest floor.

She was Carpathian. She embraced the fact that she could fly like this, that she could see the world through the eyes of an owl.

If you were blindfolded, csitri, you could still see through the eyes of the one you merge with. It is well within your power.

Of course that had been the lesson all along. Dimitri had told her, but  she'd been too upset with herself to listen to him. He had found another  way and simply waited until she realized what she should have known all  along.

She'd been merged with Dimitri. When they made love, he always merged  with her. She knew it was not only for their heightened awareness of one  another's needs and pleasure, but to protect her. All she had to do was  reach out to him and she could have been in complete control.

I will remember. She made the vow more for herself than for him.

Dimitri was-well-Dimitri. He never seemed ruffled or annoyed or angry at  her over anything, least of all lovemaking. He hadn't expected her to  come to him and offer herself and he really took everything they did  together as a miracle.

Let me show you what you gave to me, this great gift of love I will treasure always.

She flew just beneath him, heading for their home. She could see the  structure in the distance, nestled in the trees. One by one they had  gone through the rooms in the old stone house and remade them to their  liking. There was a fire already roaring in the fireplace. Of course  there would be. Dimitri saw to details.

He was always there for her, her steady rock. No matter what happened,  she could count on him. She felt a burst of pure joy. Nightmares didn't  have a chance against a man like Dimitri. He could say all he wanted  that she was strong without him-and maybe that was the truth-but she was  better with him. Always. Forever.

Show me, my love.

The images slipped into her mind unfiltered. With them came his  feelings. The absolute ecstasy of her tight hot mouth surrounding him  like a velvet fist, sending fire dancing through his groin, down his  thighs and up into his belly. She had done that.

The sight of her, so trusting, that blindfold of petals, her hands on  his thighs, her complete gift of herself, it had all combined together  to make him lose his control and get lost in the feeling of bliss she  created, that paradise he'd slipped into.

Your trust is your absolute gift to me, Skyler. Not the way you make me  feel. You put on a blindfold in the middle of a field and gave yourself  to me. Look what memories I have. I'll cherish them for all time.

Show me the moment I panicked. I want to feel what you felt. That was  all important. She needed to know if she'd ruined that beautiful memory  for him.

Dimitri didn't hesitate. The intensity of his hunger for her overwhelmed  her, that need surging through his veins, centering in his groin, a  roaring firestorm building hot and fast. She found herself caught up in  the heat, her own body coiling with sexual tension, hunger for him  moving through her even deep within the body of the owl.

She felt that first flicker of uncertainty moving through his mind.  Skyler. His world. Instantly the focus went from what he was feeling to  her. His mind completely and utterly focused on her. There was no  thought for him or his building desire, no regret, no anger, nothing but  the need to made certain she was all right.

You are my life. Your happiness is placed above my own always. Just as  you trust me to do these things for you, I know that you will do them  for me.

The little owl came to rest on the wide stone railing around the  verandah, spreading her wings and flapping them before she shifted back  to her human form. She stood on the broad, stone rail, holding her arms  out to the night. She didn't bother with clothes, their home was far  from any others, and she had scanned the area around them just as  Dimitri had taught her.