The Reluctant Vampire(47)

“No, you shouldn’t. And whether you want to believe it or not, I do understand your guilt over Jenny. I have my own guilt.”

“For what?” he asked with surprise.

“Hello. Were you listening when I told you my history? I’m pretty sure I mentioned Beth and the girls in detail.” Mouth flattening, Drina turned to peer out the window again. “I’m pretty sure Jimmy only picked them for victims because of their connection to me. If I’d never entered their lives, they might have lived to a ripe old age and never endured the horrors that twisted them at the end.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” he said quietly. “You can’t blame yourself for that. You did your best for them.”

“Just as you did your best for Jenny,” she pointed out. “But the fact that we were doing our best, and had no idea how that might play out, won’t make either of us feel less guilty.”

Harper turned back to the window and sighed wearily.

They stood like that for a minute, and then Drina shifted restlessly. “Marguerite said that you are so determined to punish yourself that you might do something foolish like avoid me to keep from acknowledging we were life mates.”

“A little late for that,” he muttered.

“Only because you weren’t given the opportunity,” Drina said with certainty, and then added, “She said not to confront you with it, and to let you realize it for yourself, but to be prepared for you to try to push me away once you do realize it . . . which, of course, you’re doing.”

“I’m not pushing you away,” Harper denied, glancing around with surprise.

Drina rolled her eyes. “Oh, please, I’m standing here not six inches away, naked as the day I was born, and it feels like there are miles between us.”

She felt his eyes glide over her, and held her breath, hoping he’d bridge the emotional gulf he’d created between them, but she wasn’t terribly surprised when he turned away and looked out the window again.

“I just need time to adjust to this,” he muttered, leaning one arm on the window and pressing his forehead to it.

“Right,” Drina said. Her temper was stirring, but her voice was calm as she asked, “What exactly are you adjusting to?”

Harper straightened and frowned. “I need to wrap my brain around it, is all. This has taken me by surprise.”

She nodded. “And how long will that take?”

He shrugged helplessly, and then said miserably, “I don’t know.”

“Fine,” she snapped, finally unleashing the rebellion stirring within her. It was a familiar sensation for Drina, and she turned on him, and said coolly, “Well, first off, I resent that in punishing yourself, I too will be punished. And second, I should warn you, I don’t intend to take that punishment for very long. You may want to wallow in your guilt and shun what we could have, but that doesn’t mean I intend to wait around forever for you to ‘adjust.’ You have two weeks. Once Victor and Elvi return, and I leave here, I’m asking Marguerite to actively look for another possible life mate for me. One who will actually want me.” She smiled coldly into his stunned face, and added, “And I’m sure she will manage it. After all, I’m your second possible life mate in two years. With Marguerite actively looking, it might not even take that long.”

Much to her relief, Drina saw alarm flash across his face at the suggestion. Perhaps there was hope for them, she thought, but merely turned on her heel and started back across the living room, adding, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got two doses of Sweet Ecstasy still coursing through me and don’t intend to suffer any more than necessary. I’m going downstairs to give the doorman the night of his life. It won’t be as satisfying as it would have been with you, but you’re obviously more interested in wallowing in your guilt than me . . . and beggars can’t be choosers.”

Drina wasn’t terribly surprised to hear him curse. Nor was she surprised to hear the quick patter of his footsteps as he gave chase. She didn’t speed up or break into a run, simply continued on, making it all the way across the room and up the four steps to the hall before he caught her arm and jerked her back around with enough force to bring her crashing up against his chest. Catching his hand in her hair, he dragged her head back and slammed his mouth down on hers. She could feel his resentment in that kiss, his anger that she wasn’t going to sit sadly sighing and patiently waiting for him to fight his demons until he felt he’d suffered enough that he could allow them to enjoy this gift they’d been given. She could almost hear his conscience battling with his desire as he struggled between what he wanted and what he felt he deserved.