Midnight Moon (Vampire for Hire #13)(13)

I opened my mouth to speak, closed it again, then said, "I just assumed..."

My hand jerked, my fingers pulsed. "Of course you assumed, Sam. And the entity within you allowed you to assume. She wants you to recognize her as something greater than you, so great as to bestow upon you supernatural gifts, along with her darker needs."

"So the darker needs are all hers?"

"Mostly, Sam. It is, however, a true symbiotic relationship. She has awakened the darkness within you, too, and you don't necessarily hate it."

"Is that wrong?" I asked. "To not hate one's dark side?"

"There is no wrong or right in a free-will universe, Sam."

"But liking the dark feels wrong."

"Your experiences in life have helped you define that feeling. The entity within you finds the darkness appealing, exciting, intoxicating. She can't understand why you do not see it as she does."

"Because I feel love, too," I said.

"She feels love, in her own way."

"A love for darkness," I said.

"In essence, yes. And she would not be wrong for having that love."

"For her," I said.

"Yes, Sam. But she is you, too. And she has considerable influence over you."

"Fine," I said. "That still doesn't explain all the telepathy and teleporting, my strength and speed-and all things weird and freaky."

I sensed the entity-God, perhaps-nodding his great head, although that was surely my imagination. "You died ten years ago, Samantha Moon. You are alive only today, thanks to the tainted blood you consumed, blood that both killed your physical body and held you in a sort of suspended animation, long enough for another entity to slip inside." 

"Elizabeth," I said.

"Indeed, Sam. But something else occurred, as it does with all of those of your kind, and those like you. Your soul also poured into your physical body, completely and fully."

"And it wasn't completely and fully in my body before?"

"Oh, no, Sam. The soul typically resides in both the energetic world and the physical world at once. You were, in essence, in two places at once."

"And this is the case for all humans?"

"Indeed, although some dear hearts can reside in three or more places at once, depending on the needs of the soul."

"But why?"

There was a long pause, and I sensed the entity controlling my hand was gathering its thoughts. Or perhaps it was, you know, big on pregnant pauses. Finally, the pulse came and my fingers twitched and shimmied across the page.

"Sam, it is safe to say that all are connected to me. All are from me. All are of me. What's more, the soul residing in the energetic world is directly connected to me. It is, in fact, an immediate extension of me."

"I'm sensing a but here," I said.

"It's a big but," wrote my hand.

"Nothing wrong with big butts," I responded, but already, I was dreading what might come next.

"No need to dread," wrote my hand, keenly aware of my thoughts. "But this might rock your world."

"My world was rocked ten years ago," I said. "Everything else is just minor aftershocks."

"Very well, Sam. A good outlook to have. I can see you are on steady ground."

"As steady as I can be. Hit me with your best shot."

"The very act of becoming a vampire drew your soul, in its entirety, from the energetic world and into the physical world."

I let the written words sink in, and when they did, I finally nodded. "And heaven is in the energetic world."

"Yes, Sam."

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. "I am no longer connected to you."

"No, Sam. Not like before."

"That makes me sad," I said.

"You are missed by me as well, but there is an upside here."

"And what's that?"

"You have become, in essence, your own creator. A free radical, if you will."

"What does that mean?"

"It means your soul has never been more alive, or more powerful. It means that you can fully utilize all the creative abilities I have granted all souls."

"All souls?"

"Few have mastered such gifts. The soul's ability is astronomical."

"Because its essence is you."

"Yes, Sam."

"And now my soul is fully contained here, within this five-foot, three-inch body."

"Yes, Sam. And it is veritably exploding with possibility."

"This... this a lot to take in."

"I imagine so, but remember: you have been utilizing your soul's many gifts for a number of years. You've just been giving credit to the wrong person."

"I gave all the credit to her," I said.