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Varney the Vampire 1(147)

By:Thomas Preskett Prest
 
"Yes; in pretty quick time. Just tell me where you have stowed away my nephew, Charles Holland?"
 
"Really, I--"
 
"Hold your slack, will you, and hear me out; if he's living, let him out, and I'll say no more about it; that's liberal, you know; it ain't terms everybody would offer you."
 
"I must, in truth, admit they are not; and, moreover, they quite surprise even me, and I have learned not to be surprised at almost anything."
 
"Well, will you give him up alive? but, hark ye, you mustn't have made very queer fish of him, do ye see?"
 
"I hear you," said Sir Francis, with a bland smile, passing one hand gently over the other, and showing his front teeth in a peculiar manner; "but I really cannot comprehend all this; but I may say, generally, that Mr. Holland is no acquaintance of mine, and I have no sort of knowledge where he may be."
 
"That won't do for me," said the admiral, positively, shaking his head.
 
"I am particularly sorry, Admiral Bell, that it will not, seeing that I have nothing else to say."
 
"I see how it is; you've put him out of the way, and I'm d----d if you shan't bring him to life, whole and sound, or I'll know the reason why."
 
"With that I have already furnished you, Admiral Bell," quietly rejoined Varney; "anything more on that head is out of my power, though my willingness to oblige a person of such consideration as yourself, is very great; but, permit me to add, this is a very strange and odd communication from one gentleman to another. You have lost a relative, who has, very probably, taken some offence, or some notion into his head, of which nobody but himself knows anything, and you come to one yet more unlikely to know anything of him, than even yourself.
 
"Gammon again, now, Sir Francis Varney, or Blarney."
 
"Varney, if you please, Admiral Bell; I was christened Varney."
 
"Christened, eh?"
 
"Yes, christened--were you not christened? If not, I dare say you understand the ceremony well enough."
 
[Illustration]
 
"I should think I did; but, as for christening, a--"
 
"Go on, sir."
 
"A vampyre! why I should as soon think of reading the burial service of a pig."
 
"Very possible; but what has all this to do with your visit to me?"
 
"This much, you lubber. Now, d--n my carcass from head to stern, if I don't call you out."
 
"Well, Admiral Bell," slid Varney, mildly, "in that case, I suppose I must come out; but why do you insist that I have any knowledge of your nephew, Mr. Charles Holland?"
 
"You were to have fought a duel with him, and now he's gone."
 
"I am here," said Varney.
 
"Ay," said the admiral, "that's as plain as a purser's shirt upon a handspike; but that's the very reason why my nevey ain't here, and that's all about it."
 
"And that's marvellous little, so far as the sense is concerned," said Varney, without the movement of a muscle.
 
"It is said that people of your class don't like fighting mortal men; now you have disposed of him, lest he should dispose of you."
 
"That is explicit, but it is to no purpose, since the gentleman in question hasn't placed himself at my disposal."
 
"Then, d----e, I will; fish, flesh, or fowl, I don't care; all's one to Admiral Bell. Come fair or fowl, I'm a tar for all men; a seaman ever ready to face a foe, so here goes, you lubberly moon manufactured calf."
 
"I hear, admiral, but it is scarcely civil, to say the least of it; however, as you are somewhat eccentric, and do not, I dare say, mean all your words imply, I am quite willing to make every allowance."
 
"I don't want any allowance; d--n you and your allowance, too; nothing but allowance of grog, and a pretty good allowance, too, will do for me, and tell you, Sir Francis Varney," said the admiral, with much wrath, "that you are a d----d lubberly hound, and I'll fight you; yes, I'm ready to hammer away, or with anything from a pop-gun to a ship's gun; you don't come over me with your gammon, I tell you. You've murdered Charles Holland because you couldn't face him--that's the truth of it."
 
"With the other part of your speech, Admiral Bell, allow me to say, you have mixed up a serious accusation--one I cannot permit to pass lightly."
 
"Will you or not fight?"
 
"Oh, yes; I shall be happy to serve you any way that I can. I hope this will be an answer to your accusation, also."
 
"That's settled, then."
 
"Why, I am not captious, Admiral Bell, but it is not generally usual for the principals to settle the preliminaries themselves; doubtless you, in your career of fame and glory, know something of the manner in which gentlemen demean themselves on these occasions."