The Traveling Vampire Show(19)

 

And forget about Dad’s.

 

Both my brothers owned cars, but they loved to rat me out. No way could I go to either of them....

 

And then I thought of Lee, my brother Danny’s wife. Perfect!

 

She would let me use her old red Chevy pickup truck, and she wouldn’t yap.

 

I’d learned how to drive in Lee’s pickup with her as my teacher. If she hadn’t taught me, I might’ve never learned how to drive. Mom had been useless as an instructor, squealing “Watch out!” every two seconds. Dad had snapped orders at me like a drill instructor. My brother Stu was a tail-gating speed-demon; being taught how to drive by Stu would’ve been like taking gun safety lessons from Charlie Starkweather. Danny might’ve been all right, but Lee was in the kitchen when we started talking about it, and she volunteered.

 

That was the previous summer, when I’d been fifteen.

 

I spent plenty of time that summer hanging out with friends my own age: Rusty and Slim (calling herself Dagny) and a kid named Earl Grodin who had an outboard motorboat and wanted to take us fishing on the river every day. We did go fishing almost every day. Earl loved to fish. The strange thing was, he insisted on using worms for bait but he hated to touch them. So Rusty and Dagny and I took turns baiting his hook for him. And teasing him. You’ve never seen such a sissy about worms. Eventually, Dagny tossed a live one into her mouth. As she chewed it up, Earl gaped at her in horror. Then he gagged. Then he slapped her across the face as if to knock the worm out of her mouth so I slugged him in the nose and knocked him overboard. After that, he didn’t take us out fishing any more. But the summer was almost over by then, anyhow, so we didn’t mind very much.

 

We sure had fun on his boat while it lasted, but I had even better fun on the roads with Lee.

 

Being a school teacher, she had the summers off. She told me to drop by the house whenever I wanted driving lessons, so that’s what I did.

 

The first time out, she told me to get behind the wheel of her big old pickup truck. She sat in the passenger seat, gave me a few instructions, and off we went. Their house was near the edge of town, so we didn’t need to worry much about traffic. Good thing, too. Even though the driving part of the operation turned out to be easy, I did have trouble keeping my eyes on the road.

 

That’s because Lee was a knockout.

 

You take a lot of beautiful women, they’re shits. But not Lee. She was down-to-earth, friendly and funny. I’d say that she was just a normal person, but she wasn’t. She was better than normal people. Way better. She didn’t seem to know it, though.

 

When we went driving, she usually wore shorts. Not cut-off jeans, but real shorts. They might be red or white or blue or yellow or pink, but they were always very short and tight. She had great legs. They were tanned and smooth and very hard to keep my eyes away from.

 

On top, she might wear a T-shirt or a knit pullover or a short-sleeved blouse. Sometimes, when she wore a regular blouse or shirt, I could look between the buttons and catch glimpses of her bra. I tried not to do it often, though.

 

Mostly, I just stole glances at her legs.

 

I would’ve tried to sneak looks at her face, too—it was a terrific face—but I could look at that without being sneaky about it.

 

The first afternoon out with Lee, I learned how to drive. I didn’t really need any more lessons after that. She knew it and I knew it, but we kept it to ourselves. Two or three times a week, for the rest of the summer, I went over to her house and we took off in the truck.

 

While I drove us through towns and over back roads, we talked about all sorts of stuff. We shared secrets, complained about my parents, discussed our worries and our favorite movies, laughed. We laughed a lot.

 

It was almost like being on a fabulous date with the most beautiful girl in town. Almost. What made it different from a date was that I held no hope of ever having any sexual contact with her. I mean, you can’t exactly fool around with your brother’s wife. Also, she was ten years older than me. Also, she was out of my league entirely.

 

All I could do was look.

 

Lee knew I was sneaking glances at her while I drove, but it didn’t seem to bother her. Usually, if she noticed, she didn’t mention it. Sometimes, though, she said stuff like, “Watch out, we’re coming up on a curve,” or “Don’t forget about the road entirely.” She was always cheerful when she said such things, but I always blushed like crazy. I’d mutter, “I’m sorry” and she would say, “Don’t worry about it. Just don’t crash.”