“You do know what you are asking me to do, right? Here I am trying my darnedest to get out of the Brotherhood, and you guys want me to stay in so I can be some sort of super-secret double agent for you.”
No one said anything for a moment. Even Allie looked a bit nonplussed.
I turned to Kristoff. I don’t have a choice, do I?
If there is another way, I don’t see it , he admitted.
Great. Now I have to find Alec, when I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing. Guilt stabbed at me at the memory of Alec’s stricken expression when he realized I was Kristoff’s Beloved, not his.
Kristoff, did Alec . . . That night, Alec was upset, wasn’t he?
Again I sensed Kristoff’s reluctance to speak to me. His presence in my head was tentative and hesitant, and I felt once again a darkness within him, something he shielded me from seeing.
That worried me more than anything.
Yes.
Do you think he would have done anything stupid?
Suicidal, you mean? Kristoff turned that thought over a few times. I don’t believe he would. If you had turned out to be his Beloved and you were taken from him, he might, but not otherwise.
Pain twisted inside me at his casual words. Alec might have felt despair at the thought of losing his Beloved, but Kristoff had managed quite well on his own for two whole months.
Yes, nearly dying of starvation was my master plan all along .
I stared at him, startled by both the amusement and the self-loathing in his mind.
“Do you agree to our terms?” Christian asked, pulling my train of thought back to the present.
I was torn. Part of me wanted nothing more than to figure out the mess that was my conflicted emotions toward Kristoff, but there were other things at stake. If I could find a way to locate Alec before I was de-Zoryaed for freeing Mattias and Kristjana, then everyone would be happy. The question was, could I pull off both tasks? “Yes, I agree,” I said at last, my shoulders slumping as I leaned into Kristoff, drawing comfort despite the horrible situation. “But only on the condition that Kristoff help me find Alec, and that you release Mattias and Kristjana to my custody.”
“My first inclination would be to refuse both demands, but since Allegra would take issue with keeping Kristoff from his Beloved, we will accede to the first.”
“If you expect me to get anything out of the Brotherhood people without having Mattias and Kristjana released-” I started to say.
Christian gave me an odd look. “I expect you to do whatever is necessary to achieve your goal. I cannot authorize the release of the two reapers, however. You will have to find another way.”
“There is no other way,” I protested. “I have to have Mattias and Kristjana.”
“You may have me,” Mattias said, opening his arms. “I’m all yours. Take me!”
“You cannot infiltrate the Brotherhood as our ‘supersecret double agent’ if you are no longer a Zorya,” Christian said with a hint of a smile.
“But-”
“It is too dangerous,” Sebastian said, getting to his feet when Christian rose and offered Allie a hand. “The sacristan must be held in custody. To have the two of you together and unattended is too risky.”
“But if he’s this way, he’s not dangerous at all,” I said, gesturing toward Mattias.
He blew me a kiss and waggled his eyebrows.
Kristoff rolled his eyes.
“As he is now? No. But what guarantee do we have that you will not lift the light-binding, or order him to do some act harmful to Dark Ones?” Sebastian countered.
“You really don’t like me, do you?” I said, my hands on my hips as I faced him. Mattias got to his feet and mimicked me, his hands on his hips as he glared at Sebastian. “What have I ever done to you?”
Sebastian blinked in surprise, his expression disconcerted. “You are a Zorya.”
“Move past that,” I said, too tired and jet-lagged to listen to the voice of reason warning me against an outburst. “Is it something about me personally you don’t like? Every time I come near you, you make a face like you smelled something bad!”
“You make a face,” Mattias accused. “You do not want to lick the beauteous Pia!”
Sebastian stammered out a nonanswer as Allie laughed. She came around the table, taking my arm. “Come on; I’ll go up to your room with you to make sure you guys will be comfy there. And while we’re on our way, I’ll explain to you about Dark Ones and this really obnoxious thing they have about Beloveds who aren’t their own smelling like roadkill.”