I pulled back enough to look at him. I remembered well from past experiences that the act of feeding was a very sensual one, making us both prone to thoughts of a sexual nature. I assumed that with Kristoff so close to death, neither one of us would find this time anything but a purely lifesaving act, but as I looked down into his face, I was suddenly overwhelmed with desire.
He must have shared my thought, for a ghost of a smile flickered across his lips. “I’m afraid I would disappoint you if we tried. At least, not until my body has had time to process the blood.”
I eased him off my lap, discomfited that he could read my interest so clearly. Instead I examined him, noting with relief that the grey tinge to his skin was fading, and the lines on his face, while still stark and harsh, were softened a bit. “You look a smidgen better.”
He eased himself to a sitting position against the wall, saying, “Thanks to you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He waited a moment, then shook his head. “If you only knew what you have done.”
“Saved your life, you mean? I’m a woman, Kristoff. I tend to be a nurturer. As little as you like me, you certainly can’t expect that I’d be so heartless as to let you die when it was within my power to help you.”
He frowned, not an uncommon expression for him. “Why do you keep saying that? I thought we had that out months ago.”
“Had what out?” I got to my feet, rearranging my dress. My entire body hummed as if it were filled with electricity, the sensation itching along my skin in an oddly pleasant fashion.
“You insist on pretending that I dislike you. I’ve told you before that that’s not true.”
“I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear that you don’t actively loathe me,” I said lightly, not wanting to get into a discussion of our respective emotions. “But I think we both know that you’re not exactly yipping for joy that I’m your Beloved.”
“No more than you are,” he said, his eyes narrowing on me. “You thought you were Alec’s Beloved.”
An unspoken accusation hung heavily on the air. I turned away, wandering over to the window, pulling aside a gauzy curtain to look out at Vienna. The sun was setting, lights starting to come on up and down the street as people, normal people, hurried to their homes and loved ones. For a moment a yearning so strong it hurt swept through me. I wanted to be one of those people. I wanted the loving husband, and happy children, and a home that radiated happiness and contentment.
But I wasn’t normal. With a sigh I let the curtain drop. I wasn’t a normal person anymore, and the one man I might be able to love could never give me his heart. “So here we are, bound together for all eternity, you mourning your dead girlfriend, and me having lost Alec because I’m tied to you, not him. Sometimes you have to admit that life really is the pits, but I guess there’s nothing we can do about that. I take it you’ll be popping in on me for a quick bite to eat whenever you’re tired of dieting or drinking animal blood?”
Kristoff was silent for a moment before he rose somewhat unsteadily to his feet. I took a step forward, ready to help him if he needed it, but he kept a firm grip on the back of the chair. The blood was evidently doing its job, because he looked stronger with each passing minute. “You truly do not know what has happened, do you? You fed me, Pia.”
“So? You’ve fed off me before.”
His face was carefully devoid of emotion, but he wasn’t able to stop it from burning brightly in his eyes. “I told you before that a Dark One can only feed from his Beloved.”
“Which is obviously not exactly true, since you’ve existed without me,” I pointed out.
His lips thinned. “That I was able to do so was simply because you had not fed me after the Joining was complete. Now that you have, my body won’t tolerate any blood but yours. My existence now depends on you. There will be no popping in on you. From this time forward, we cannot be separated for more than a few days without the direst of repercussions for me.”
I stared at him as comprehension dawned in my slow-witted mind, my heart sinking with the knowledge of what I’d just set into motion. “Hell,” I said, speaking more literally than figuratively. My life was hell-as hard as it had been to not have contact with Kristoff for the last two months, at least I had managed to have some sort of a semblance of a life. Oh, he haunted my dreams, and I was prone to a strange depression when I wasn’t thinking of him, but all that, I was confident, would fade with time. But now . . . Dear God, how was I to cope with having him in my life every day?