Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang(17)
His frown grew darker. “We are Dark Ones! We do not wring our hands!”
“You know what I mean! You guys have your panties in a bunch over nothing.”
Christian made a quick, angry gesture. “Allegra, your irreverence is out of place here.”
Behind him, the two vampires nodded.
“Bah!” She snorted, glaring back at her husband. “I’m not going to let you railroad someone just because it assuages your conscience.”
Christian took a deep breath. I backed up, not wanting to be near him if he exploded. “Your arguments have already been heard, and your presence is therefore not required at this hearing. You may take Josef to the park if the sun has set.”
“Oh, don’t even think of trying to get rid of me, Fang Boy,” she snapped back, handing over the boy to a middle-aged woman who bustled into the room. “Edith, I think he’s hungry. Can you find something for him?”
“Fang Boy!” Christian said, outraged. Rowan snickered. Sebastian gave Christian a sympathetic look. Christian glared at his wife, his hands on his hips. “I have told you before that you are not to refer to me by such names. It is an especially appalling breach when conducted in front of outsiders!”
“Hungry,” Josef said, burying his face against the woman’s chest in the manner of a child suddenly turned shy.
“She’s not an outsider,” Allie said, waving toward me. “She’s a Beloved!”
“She’s also a Zorya!”
“I’ll go see if we have any fresh meat,” the woman named Edith murmured, taking the little boy away. He looked like he was about two or three, grinning and waving at me over his nanny’s shoulder.
“Now look what you’ve done,” Christian said, gesturing toward the door as it closed behind the pair. “He’s waving at her! I will not have my son endangered-”
“Oh, blow it out your piehole.” Allie snorted, stomping over to a long table. Four chairs had been set along one side of it, a single chair on the opposite side. She grabbed one of the four and hauled it over to the other side, sitting down with sublime indifference to the fact that her husband looked as if he were going to blow his top.
“Allie, my dear, a lady never refers to a gentleman’s hole, pie or otherwise, not even if that gentleman is her husband,” a disembodied voice said.
I spun around in a circle, trying to pinpoint it. A small glimmer of light at the far end of the room grew brighter, cohering into the unmistakable image of a short, dumpy female ghost. She beamed at me as Allie answered, “You have to admit that sometimes he has it coming.”
“No matter how trying a gentleman may be,” the ghost answered, switching her smile to Christian, who was now wearing an odd, martyred sort of expression, “and heaven knows dear Christian could never be considered trying, references such as that are inappropriate. How do you do. I’m Esme. Have you seen Mr. Wuggums?”
“I don’t think so,” I said hesitantly.
“Mr. Wuggums is Esme’s cat,” Allie said from her chair. “Esme, as you can see, is a ghost. I had several others, but she’s the only one who’s remained. Other than Antonio, that is, but Christian and he have an ongoing war, so Antonio only comes out when the coast is clear. And you can stop swearing at me under your breath, Christian. Just because I don’t understand Czech doesn’t mean I don’t know what you’re saying.”
Christian sputtered but, with immense control, managed to get a grip on his emotions.
“Allie, my dear,” Esme started to say, but Allie stopped her by holding up a prohibitive hand.
“Another time, please. Right now I’m more concerned with keeping Pia from being bullied than maintaining proper decorum.”
Esme pursed her lips but said nothing.
“No one is bullying anyone,” Sebastian said, moving over to stand next to Christian. “We simply wish to get the facts of the situation.”
“If you will take a seat, we can begin the hearing,” Christian said, gesturing me to the chair next to Allie. He shot his wife a look that she met with raised chin and crossed arms.
“Yes, I will, but . . . um . . . this might be out of line, but are you by any chance looking for Ostri?” I asked Esme, who was humming softly to herself.
“Ostri?” she asked, looking surprised for a moment. “I’m afraid I don’t know him. Is he a friend of yours? I do love it when we have visitors.”