He hadn't expected that. "It must have been an accident."
"I didn't mean for it to happen." Tears streamed down her face.
He couldn't take it, so he pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back. "What happened?"
"I was in middle school, and by then, my grandmother's health wasn't very good. I learned to do the chores. And I was used to getting myself up in the morning, and fixing my lunch, and catching the bus. I always hugged Grandma before I left."
Ian could see that Toni had learned to be strong and independent at a young age.
"One night, Grandma was having trouble sleeping. I could hear her up a lot. But that morning, when I came in to say good-bye, she was sleeping well. I didn't want to wake her, so I went on to school. But when I came home that afternoon, she was still there." Toni stepped back and grabbed a napkin off the table to wipe her face, but the tears kept coming. "She died while I was gone."
"Sweetheart, she died naturally. It wasna yer fault."
"But I knew she'd been sick the night before. I keep thinking about what I should have done differently. If I had called 911 that morning, she might have lived. Even my mother said I'd done a lousy job of taking care of her. She wouldn't let me live with them after Grandma died. She sent me to a boarding school."
Ian winced. "Lass, I doona mean to offend, but yer mother is a bloomin' arse."
Toni blinked.
Apparently his observation had taken her by surprise. "Ye can believe me. I'm a bit of an expert when it comes to mums. I was fifteen when I was transformed. I thought I could go back home, but my mum wouldna accept me."
Toni's red-rimmed eyes widened. "Why not?"
"Och, how did she put it? I was a monstrous creature from hell. She feared if I got a wee peckish, I might slaughter my younger brothers and sisters."
"That's ridiculous! Anyone who knows you would know you could never hurt someone you love."
Her declaration filled his heart. And the way her eyes flashed with angry indignation, he thought he'd never seen a woman more beautiful. "I appreciate yer faith in me." He stepped closer. "Are ye all right now?"
She blew her nose in the napkin. "I think so. I'm really sorry about this. I've been an emotional wreck lately, and you keep seeing me at my worst."
"Nay, I think ye're at yer best."
She gave him a dubious look. "With my watery eyes and red nose?"
He wanted to kiss her watery eyes and red nose.
"Actually, I was referring to yer compassionate heart."
She snorted. "I'm not feeling very compassionate. I was just thinking that your mom was a bloomin' arse."
He chuckled. "At least we both survived."
"You know, when I first met you, I thought we were totally different. Alive, dead." She motioned to herself, then him. "Modern, old-fashioned. Intelligent, not so intelligent."
"Excuse me?"
She grinned. "I'm kidding. But I was wrong. We actually have a lot in common."
"Ye mean our heartless mothers?"
"More than that. We share the same worries and fears. That we're not worthy. That we'll fail someone we love." Her face grew sad again.
He touched her face and smoothed his thumb over her damp cheek. "Ye have more deep, dark secrets to tell me?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Och, ye're so deep."
"And dark." She smiled. "Thank you. I feel a lot better now."
"Will ye tell me yer full name?"
She winced. "That's too dark."
"Lass, it canna be that bad." He touched her other cheek, so her face was cradled in his hands. He could hear her heart racing. He moved closer.
She didn't back away.
He dragged his thumb along her jaw. Her mouth opened slightly, and she licked her lips. Ah, he wanted to feel that. He slid his thumb over her bottom lip, gliding over the moisture. She drew in a sharp breath.
"Your eyes are red again," she whispered.
"I know." He moved closer till his chest was grazing hers.
Her gaze drifted down to his mouth. The napkin fell from her hand and fluttered to the floor. Slowly she raised a hand, then touched the dent in his chin.
It was simple movement, but he interpreted it as permission. She'd pushed the yes button, and that was all that mattered. To hell with the rules, to hell with reason.
He held her face and kissed her lightly once, twice. She leaned toward him, and his passion broke loose with a wild, devouring kiss. He pulled her close, one hand at the back of her neck, the other at her waist. He pulled her so close, her feet came off the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.