Vanda sighed. "I get the feeling there's a lot you're not saying. I thought you wanted to talk."
"I am talking."
"I don't have all night like I used to. I have a business to run."
He paused, listening to the clicking sound of her scissors. How could he just come out and say that he wanted to find true love and be blissfully happy in a marriage that would span the centuries, and yet he wasn't sure how to go about it? "How is yer business?"
"Fine." She tossed her scissors on the desk and brushed out his hair with more force than necessary. "Are you going to talk, or do I need to take my whip to you?"
He grinned. Vanda liked to act tough, but she was all bluster and no bite. "All right. I'll talk. With my new, older face, I've been thinking…"
"Amazing. Did your brain grow, too?"
"Verra funny. I came here tonight because I'm looking for…" He couldn't say the words a woman. Vanda would probably laugh at him. "I have a crater in my chin."
She laughed at him. "It's a dimple." She tilted her head, studying him. "Are you worried about your looks?"
"No, of course not." He shifted in his chair.
She perched on the edge of her desk. "No one has told you how you look?"
"Men doona speak of such trivial matters. Jean-Luc's new wife said I looked…good."
Vanda snorted.
Bugger. He knew Heather had been lying.
Vanda shook her head. "Good is a huge understatement. You're absolutely gorgeous."
A seed of hope burst in Ian's heart. Maybe the right woman could fall for him. "Ye—ye're no' just being kind?"
"Have you ever known me to be particularly kind?"
"Ye have been to me."
"Well." She adjusted the whip around her waist with an annoyed look. "You remind me of my youngest brother. But I guess I can't treat you like a child anymore."
"Sorry to spoil yer fun," he growled.
She grinned. "I'm really happy for you, Ian. You must be thrilled to be all grown up."
"Aye." He drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair.
Her smile faded. "You don't look very thrilled. What's the matter?"
"Now that I look older…I'm looking for…"
"Yes?"
"A woman."
Her mouth twitched. "Well, that's a start." Her eyes suddenly widened. "Oh my God, you really are a virgin?"
"Nay! I'm almost five hundred years old. What the hell would I be waiting for?"
"Lady Pamela thinks you are. You didn't deny it."
"It's no' something a man should discuss in public. It's verra private."
Vanda chuckled. "You're so old-fashioned. Sex isn't something to be ashamed of."
"I'm no'—" He couldn't deny it. By all the saints, he was ashamed. "It's no' the sex, ye ken. It's the way I had to go about it. It—it never felt right."
Vanda's face grew serious. "We've all done things we regret in order to survive."
"This was more than regrettable. I dinna behave with honor." He'd never confessed this to anyone before.
"What did you do?"
He gathered his shoulder-length hair in the back and tied the leather thong around it. "After Angus changed me, he told me how to go about feeding. In exchange for blood, I was to give the ladies pleasure and make sure they were satisfied."
Vanda sucked in a deep breath. "Sounds good to me."
Ian looked away, embarrassed. "I dinna know now. I was only fifteen, ye ken, so I frequented some brothels at first so I could learn. I–I was a quick learner."
"That's not so awful."
"It was awful once I stopped going to brothels. I had trouble seducing the ladies when they thought I was a child. I was getting verra hungry, so I resorted to using mind control to make them see me as older. I left them happy, but…"
"You felt guilty?"
Ian clasped his hands together. "Aye. I deceived them. Every relationship I have ever had was based on trickery and deception. I canna stomach doing that again."
"I see."
He sat up. "Now, for the first time in my life, I can be honest. I can finally find the right woman for me."
Vanda smiled. "Then you've come to the right place. With your handsome face, you'll have no problem getting lucky tonight."
"I'm no' looking for one night. I've had centuries of one-nighters. I want to find my true love. I want the same kind of happiness that Roman, Angus, and Jean-Luc have."