All I Want for Christmas is a Vampire(44)

 

"What was happening?" Ian asked.

 

"Everything, man. Flower power. Make love, not war. I'm like totally opposed to violence of any kind."

 

"Then ye would never manipulate or cheat a mortal for yer own gain?"

 

"God, no. That's like so damaging to your karma."

 

Ian nodded. This one might have potential. At least she appeared to have good morals.

 

"So there I was, tripping on acid and enjoying a perfectly good orgy, when this guy comes out of nowhere and bites me on the neck! I mean, I was like totally bummed out when I woke up dead."

 

Ian blinked. "I see." His gaze wandered back to Toni. Every now and then, when someone teleported in, she would jump to face them. Perhaps teleportation frightened her? If that was the case, he should drive her home. The thought of escaping the club sounded excellent.

 

The timer rang, and he realized Moonbeam was still talking. He stood. "I'm afraid our time is up."

 

"Okay. Peace." She hugged him and glided away.

 

Ian motioned for Cindy to come forward. She launched into a long account of her past two hundred and thirteen boyfriends, while Ian's attention slid back to the dance floor. The music slowed, and Gregori took Toni into his arms. Dammit, he'd told Gregori to watch her, not maul her.

 

After two more interviews, Vanda sauntered toward him, grinning. "I did it! It's all set up."

 

His stomach knotted with apprehension as he rose to his feet. "What did ye do?"

 

"Don't look so worried. It'll be great. Tomorrow night at midnight, Corky Courrant is coming here!"

 

"The barracuda?" Everyone knew the reporter from Live with the Undead was vicious. "Why is she coming here?"

 

"To interview you!" Vanda announced.

 

Ian stepped back. "Vanda, no. Hell, no."

 

"It'll be fun! Trust me."

 

He shook his head. "No good can come from this. The woman is a monster."

 

"Don't be such a wuss!" Vanda poked him in the chest. "Corky's show is broadcast all over the world. Every Vamp on earth will see you. And see my club. This is brilliant!"

 

"What's brilliant?" Gregori walked toward them with Toni.

 

"Ian's going to be on Live with the Undead," Vanda boasted. "They're coming tomorrow to do the interview."

 

"You're going to be on television?" Toni asked.

 

"On DVN," Vanda said.

 

"Digital Vampire Network," Ian explained. "We get it at the townhouse. But I'm no' doing the show."

 

"Of course you are," Vanda hissed. "I've been working on this for hours. It's all set."

 

"Be careful with Corky Courrant," Gregori warned.

 

"Who is she?" Toni asked.

 

"The star of the show." Gregori splayed his hands in front of his chest. "She has the most humongous" — Ian elbowed him—"commercials," Gregori finished.

 

"Were ye ready to go home?" Ian asked Toni. "I could drive you."

 

Vanda grabbed his arm. "You're not going anywhere. All these women are waiting for their chance to date you."

 

"I can teleport Toni," Gregori offered.

 

"But she might no' want to teleport," Ian protested.

 

"I'll be fine." Toni gave him a reassuring smile. "I can't wait to see you on TV."

 

Ian sighed. Maybe he should go through with it. He didn't want to disappoint Vanda or Toni. And how bad could it be? "Gregori, can I have a word with you in private?"

 

"Sure." Gregori walked away with him. "What's up?"

 

"I—uh—thought ye might give me some advice."

 

"Are your dates not going well?" Gregori whispered.

 

"I feel like I'm conducting job interviews. I'm no' connecting with them." Not like he did with Toni.

 

Gregori rested a hand on Ian's shoulder. "Dude, you can do this. You must have charmed ladies out of a pint of blood every night for several centuries."

 

Ian sighed. "I was never verra sophisticated about it. No one expected me to be. I looked so young, even though I felt old inside. And now I look old on the outside, but inside I feel like a green lad. I doona know what to say."

 

"You just need to work on your communication skills. First off, practice being a good listener. Women like to talk about their feelings. Even if you think it's totally boring, nod your head and keep listening."

 

"Okay."

 

"You should respond with lines like 'How interesting. Tell me more. "

 

"How interesting," Ian repeated. "Tell me more."