The Twilight Saga Collection part 1(358)

“It pleased me that they seemed to know that Royce was guilty.

“I didn’t realize that it was almost over — that I was getting stronger and that was why I was able to concentrate on what they were saying. The pain was beginning to fade from my fingertips.

“‘What are we going to do with her?’ Edward said disgustedly — or that’s how it sounded to me, at least.

“Carlisle sighed. ‘That’s up to her, of course. She may want to go her own way.’

“I’d believed enough of what he’d told me that his words terrified me. I knew that my life was ended, and there was no going back for me. I couldn’t stand the thought of being alone. . . .

“The pain finally ended and they explained to me again what I was. This time I believed. I felt the thirst, my hard skin; I saw my brilliant red eyes.

“Shallow as I was, I felt better when I saw my reflection in the mirror the first time. Despite the eyes, I was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.” She laughed at herself for a moment. “It took some time before I began to blame the beauty for what had happened to me — for me to see the curse of it. To wish that I had been . . . well, not ugly, but normal. Like Vera. So I could have been allowed to marry someone who loved me, and have pretty babies. That’s what I’d really wanted, all along. It still doesn’t seem like too much to have asked for.”

She was thoughtful for a moment, and I wondered if she’d forgotten my presence again. But then she smiled at me, her expression suddenly triumphant.

“You know, my record is almost as clean as Carlisle’s,” she told me. “Better than Esme. A thousand times better than Edward. I’ve never tasted human blood,” she announced proudly.

She understood my puzzled expression as I wondered why her record was only almost as clean.

“I did murder five humans,” she told me in a complacent tone. “If you can really call them human. But I was very careful not to spill their blood — I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist that, and I didn’t want any part of them in me, you see.

“I saved Royce for last. I hoped that he would hear of his friends’ deaths and understand, know what was coming for him. I hoped the fear would make the end worse for him. I think it worked. He was hiding inside a windowless room behind a door as thick as a bank vault’s, guarded outside by armed men, when I caught up with him. Oops — seven murders,” she corrected herself. “I forgot about his guards. They only took a second.”

“I was overly theatrical. It was kind of childish, really. I wore a wedding dress I’d stolen for the occasion. He screamed when he saw me. He screamed a lot that night. Saving him for last was a good idea — it made it easier for me to control myself, to make it slower —”

She broke off suddenly, and she glanced down at me. “I’m sorry,” she said in a chagrined voice. “I’m frightening you, aren’t I?”

“I’m fine,” I lied.

“I got carried away.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m surprised Edward didn’t tell you more about it.”

“He doesn’t like to tell other people’s stories — he feels like he’s betraying confidences, because he hears so much more than just the parts they mean for him to hear.”

She smiled and shook her head. “I probably ought to give him more credit. He’s really quite decent, isn’t he?”

“I think so.”

“I can tell.” Then she sighed. “I haven’t been fair to you, either, Bella. Did he tell you why? Or was that too confidential?”

“He said it was because I was human. He said it was harder for you to have someone on the outside who knew.”

Rosalie’s musical laughter interrupted me. “Now I really feel guilty. He’s been much, much kinder to me than I deserve.” She seemed warmer as she laughed, like she’d let down some guard that had never been absent in my presence before. “What a liar that boy is.” She laughed again.

“He was lying?” I asked, suddenly wary.

“Well, that’s probably putting it too strongly. He just didn’t tell you the whole story. What he told you was true, even truer now than it was before. However, at the time . . .” She broke off, chuckling nervously. “It’s embarrassing. You see, at first, I was mostly jealous because he wanted you and not me.”

Her words sent a thrill of fear through me. Sitting there in the silver light, she was more beautiful than anything else I could imagine. I could not compete with Rosalie.