We walked in silence, he shortening his stride to match mine. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but most of those questions would have to wait, because they were for Alice: How was Jasper this morning? What had they said when I was gone? What had Rosalie said? And most importantly, what could she see happening now in her strange, imperfect visions of the future? Could she guess what Edward was thinking, why he was so gloomy? Was there a foundation for the tenuous, instinctive fears that I couldn’t seem to shake?
The morning passed slowly. I was impatient to see Alice, though I wouldn’t be able to really talk to her with Edward there. Edward remained aloof. Occasionally he would ask about my arm, and I would lie.
Alice usually beat us to lunch; she didn’t have to keep pace with a sloth like me. But she wasn’t at the table, waiting with a tray of food she wouldn’t eat.
Edward didn’t say anything about her absence. I wondered to myself if her class was running late—until I saw Conner and Ben, who were in her fourth hour French class.
“Where’s Alice?” I asked Edward anxiously.
He looked at the granola bar he was slowly pulverizing between his fingertips while he answered. “She’s with Jasper.”
“Is he okay?”
“He’s gone away for a while.”
“What? Where?”
Edward shrugged. “Nowhere in particular.”
“And Alice, too,” I said with quiet desperation. Of course, if Jasper needed her, she would go.
“Yes. She’ll be gone for a while. She was trying to convince him to go to Denali.”
Denali was where the one other band of unique vampires—good ones like the Cullens—lived. Tanya and her family. I’d heard of them now and again. Edward had run to them last winter when my arrival had made Forks difficult for him. Laurent, the most civilized member of James’s little coven, had gone there rather than siding with James against the Cullens. It made sense for Alice to encourage Jasper to go there.
I swallowed, trying to dislodge the sudden lump in my throat. The guilt made my head bow and my shoulders slump. I’d run them out of their home, just like Rosalie and Emmett. I was a plague.
“Is your arm bothering you?” he asked solicitously.
“Who cares about my stupid arm?” I muttered in disgust.
He didn’t answer, and I put my head down on the table.
By the end of the day, the silence was becoming ridiculous. I didn’t want to be the one to break it, but apparently that was my only choice if I ever wanted him to talk to me again.
“You’ll come over later tonight?” I asked as he walked me—silently—to my truck. He always came over.
“Later?”
It pleased me that he seemed surprised. “I have to work. I had to trade with Mrs. Newton to get yesterday off.”
“Oh,” he murmured.
“So you’ll come over when I’m home, though, right?” I hated that I felt suddenly unsure about this.
“If you want me to.”
“I always want you,” I reminded him, with perhaps a little more intensity than the conversation required.
I expected he would laugh, or smile, or react somehow to my words.
“All right, then,” he said indifferently.
He kissed my forehead again before he shut the door on me. Then he turned his back and loped gracefully toward his car.
I was able to drive out of the parking lot before the panic really hit, but I was hyperventilating by the time I got to Newton’s.
He just needed time, I told myself. He would get over this. Maybe he was sad because his family was disappearing. But Alice and Jasper would come back soon, and Rosalie and Emmett, too. If it would help, I would stay away from the big white house on the river—I’d never set foot there again. That didn’t matter. I’d still see Alice at school. She would have to come back for school, right? And she was at my place all the time anyway. She wouldn’t want to hurt Charlie’s feelings by staying away.
No doubt I would also run into Carlisle with regularity—in the emergency room.
After all, what had happened last night was nothing. Nothing had happened. So I fell down—that was the story of my life. Compared to last spring, it seemed especially unimportant. James had left me broken and nearly dead from loss of blood—and yet Edward had handled the interminable weeks in the hospital much better than this. Was it because, this time, it wasn’t an enemy he’d had to protect me from? Because it was his brother?
Maybe it would be better if he took me away, rather than his family being scattered. I grew slightly less depressed as I considered all the uninterrupted alone time. If he could just last through the school year, Charlie wouldn’t be able to object. We could go away to college, or pretend that’s what we were doing, like Rosalie and Emmett this year. Surely Edward could wait a year. What was a year to an immortal? It didn’t even seem like that much to me.