“I’ll be waiting for you in Tucson,” the Seeker said, leaning in the open passenger-side window as I started the engine.
“I have no doubt of that,” I muttered.
I found the controls on the door panel. Trying to hide a smile, I hit the button to raise the glass and watched her jump back.
“Maybe… ,” she said, raising her voice to almost a shout so that I could hear her over the engine noise and through the closed window, “maybe I’ll try it your way. Maybe I’ll see you on the road.”
She smiled and shrugged.
She was just saying it to upset me. I tried not to let her see that she had. I focused my eyes on the road ahead and pulled carefully away from the curb.
It was easy enough to find the freeway and then follow the signs out of San Diego. Soon there were no signs to follow, no wrong turns to take. In eight hours I would be in Tucson. It wasn’t long enough. Perhaps I would stay a night in some small town along the way. If I could be sure that the Seeker would be ahead, waiting impatiently, rather than following behind, a stop would be a nice delay.
I found myself looking in the rearview mirror often, searching for a sign of pursuit. I was driving slower than anyone else, unwilling to reach my destination, and the other cars passed me without pause. There were no faces I recognized as they moved ahead. I shouldn’t have let the Seeker’s taunt bother me; she clearly didn’t have the temperament to go anywhere slowly. Still… I continued to watch for her.
I’d been west to the ocean, north and south up and down the pretty California coastline, but I’d never been east for any distance at all. Civilization fell behind me quickly, and I was soon surrounded by the blank hills and rocks that were the precursors to the empty desert wastelands.
It was very relaxing to be away from civilization, and this bothered me. I should not have found the loneliness so welcoming. Souls were sociable. We lived and worked and grew together in harmony. We were all the same: peaceful, friendly, honest. Why should I feel better away from my kind? Was it Melanie who made me this way?
I searched for her but found her remote, dreaming in the back of my head.
This was the best it had been since she’d started talking again.
The miles passed quickly. The dark, rough rocks and the dusty plains covered in scrub flew by with monotonous uniformity. I realized I was driving faster than I’d meant to. There wasn’t anything to keep my mind occupied here, so I found it hard to linger. Absently, I wondered why the desert was so much more colorful in Melanie’s memories, so much more compelling. I let my mind coast with hers, trying to see what it was that was special about this vacant place.
But she wasn’t seeing the sparse, dead land surrounding us. She was dreaming of another desert, canyoned and red, a magical place. She didn’t try to keep me out. In fact, she seemed almost unaware of my presence. I questioned again what her detachment meant. I sensed no thought of attack. It felt more like a preparation for the end.
She was living in a happier place in her memory, as if she were saying goodbye. It was a place she had never allowed me to see before.
There was a cabin, an ingenious dwelling tucked into a nook in the red sandstone, perilously close to the flash flood line. An unlikely place, far from any trail or path, built in what seemed a senseless location. A rough place, without any of the conveniences of modern technology. She remembered laughing at the sink one had to pump to pull water up from the ground.
“It beats pipes,” Jared says, the crease between his eyes deepening as his brows pull together. He seems worried by my laugh. Is he afraid I don’t like it? “Nothing to trace, no evidence that we’re here.”
“I love it,” I say quickly. “It’s like an old movie. It’s perfect.”
The smile that never truly leaves his face—he smiles even in his sleep—grows wide. “They don’t tell you the worst parts in the movies. C’mon, I’ll show you where the latrine is.”
I hear Jamie’s laughter echo through the narrow canyon as he runs ahead of us. His black hair bounces with his body. He bounces all the time now, this thin boy with the sun-darkened skin. I hadn’t realized how much weight those narrow shoulders were carrying. With Jared, he is positively buoyant. The anxious expression has faded, replaced by grins. We are both more resilient than I gave us credit for.
“Who built this place?”
“My father and older brothers. I helped, or rather hindered, a little. My dad loved to get away from everything. And he didn’t care much about convention. He never bothered to find out who the land actually belonged to or file permits or any of that pesky stuff.” Jared laughs, throwing his head back. The sun dances off the blond bits in his hair. “Officially, this place doesn’t exist. Convenient, isn’t it?” Without seeming to think about it, he reaches out and takes my hand.