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The Host(196)

By:Stephenie Meyer


Without a doubt, I did not want to talk to her. I was terrified to ever see her face again—a face that, no matter how I tried, I could not imagine looking frightened.

But if I told them I had no desire for conversation, Aaron would shoot her. It would be like I’d given him the order to fire. Like I’d pulled the trigger.

Or worse, Doc would try to cut her out of the human body. I flinched away from the memory of the silver blood smeared all over the hands of my friend.

Melanie twisted uneasily, trying to escape the torment in my head.

Wanda? They’re just going to shoot her. Don’t panic.

Should this comfort me? I couldn’t avoid the imagined tableau. Aaron, the Seeker’s gun in his hand; the Seeker’s body slowly crumpling to the stone floor, the red blood pooling around her…

You don’t have to watch.

That wouldn’t stop it from happening.

Melanie’s thoughts became a little frantic. But we want her to die. Right? She killed Wes! Besides, she can’t stay alive. No matter what.

She was right about everything, of course. It was true that there was no way the Seeker could stay alive. Imprisoned, she would work doggedly to escape. Freed, she would quickly be the death of all my family.

It was true she had killed Wes. He was so young and so loved. His death left a burning agony in its wake. I understood the claim of human justice that demanded her life in return.

It was also true that I wanted her to die.

“Wanda? Wanda?”

Jamie shook my arm. It took me a moment to realize that someone had called my name. Perhaps many times already.

“Wanda?” Jeb’s voice asked again.

I looked up. He was standing over me. His face was expressionless, the blank facade that meant he was in the grip of some strong emotion. His poker face.

“The boys want to know if you have any questions for the Seeker.”

I put one hand to my forehead, trying to block the images there. “If I don’t?”

“They’re ready to be done with guard duty. It’s a hard time. They’d rather be with their friends right now.”

I nodded. “Okay. I guess I’d better… go and see her at once, then.” I shoved myself away from the wall and to my feet. My hands were shaking, so I clenched them into fists.

You don’t have any questions.

I’ll think of some.

Why prolong the inevitable?

I have no idea.

You’re trying to save her, Melanie accused, full of outrage.

There’s no way to do that.

No. There isn’t. And you want her dead anyway. So let them shoot her.

I cringed.

“You okay?” Jamie asked.

I nodded, not trusting my voice enough to speak.

“You don’t have to,” Jeb told me, his eyes sharp on my face.

“It’s okay,” I whispered.

Jamie’s hand wrapped around mine, but I shook it off. “Stay here, Jamie.”

“I’ll come with you.”

My voice was stronger now. “Oh, no, you will not.”

We stared at each other for a moment, and for once I won the argument. He stuck his chin out stubbornly but slouched back against the wall.

Ian, too, seemed inclined to follow me out of the kitchen, but I stopped him in his tracks with a single look. Jared watched me go with an unfathomable expression.

“She’s a complainer,” Jeb told me in a low voice as we walked back toward the hole. “Not quiet like you were. Always asking for more—food, water, pillows… She threatens a lot, too. ‘The Seekers will get you all!’ That kinda thing. It’s been hard on Brandt especially. She’s pushed his temper right to the edge.”

I nodded. This did not surprise me one bit.

“She hasn’t tried to escape, though. A lot of talk and no action. Once the guns come up, she backs right down.”

I recoiled.

“My guess is, she wants to live pretty dang bad,” Jeb murmured to himself.

“Are you sure this is the… safest place to keep her?” I asked as we started down the black, twisting tunnel.

Jeb chuckled. “You didn’t find your way out,” he reminded me. “Sometimes the best hiding place is the one that’s in plain sight.”

My answer was flat. “She’s more motivated than I was.”

“The boys’re keepin’ a sharp eye on her. Nothin’ to worry about.”

We were almost there. The tunnel turned back on itself in a sharp V.

How many times had I rounded this corner, my hand tracing along the inside of the pointed switchback, just like this? I’d never traced along the outside wall. It was uneven, with jutting rocks that would leave bruises and cause me to trip. Staying on the inside was a shorter walk anyway.

When they’d first showed me that the V was not a V but a Y—two branches forking off from another tunnel, the tunnel—I’d felt pretty stupid. Like Jeb said, hiding things in plain sight was sometimes the cleverest route. The times I’d been desperate enough to even consider escaping the caves, my mind had skipped right over this place in my speculations. This was the hole, the prison. In my head, it was the darkest, deepest well in the caves. This was where they’d buried me.