No one even listened to me. Jeb was arguing with Jared.
“There’s no way, kid. Somebody’d get a call off to the Seekers. Even if we were in and out, something like that would bring ’em down on us in force. We’d be hard-pressed to make it out at all. And they’d follow.”
“Wait. Can’t you —”
They still weren’t listening to me.
“I don’t want the boy to die, either, but we can’t risk everyone’s lives for one person,” Kyle said. “People die here; it happens. We can’t get crazy to save one boy.”
I wanted to choke him, to cut off his air in order to stop his calm words. Me, not Melanie. I was the one who wanted to turn his face purple. Melanie felt the same way, but I could tell how much of the violence came directly from me.
“We have to save him,” I said, louder now.
Jeb looked at me. “Hon, we can’t just walk in there and ask.”
Right then, another very simple and obvious truth occurred to me.
“You can’t. But I can.”
The room fell dead silent.
I was caught up in the beauty of the plan forming in my head. The perfection of it. I spoke mostly to myself, and to Melanie. She was impressed. This would work. We could save Jamie.
“They aren’t suspicious. Not at all. Even if I’m a horrible liar, they would never suspect me of anything. They wouldn’t be listening for lies. Of course not. I’m one of them. They would do anything to help me. I’d say I got hurt hiking or something… and then I’d find a way to be alone and I’d take as much as I could hide. Think of it! I could get enough to heal everyone here. To last for years. And Jamie would be fine! Why didn’t I think of this before? Maybe it wouldn’t have been too late even for Walter.”
I looked up then, with shining eyes. It was just so perfect!
So perfect, so absolutely right, so obvious to me, that it took me forever to understand the expressions on their faces. If Kyle’s had not been so explicit, it might have taken me longer.
Hatred. Suspicion. Fear.
Even Jeb’s poker face was not enough. His eyes were tight with mistrust.
Every face said no.
Are they insane? Can’t they see how this would help us all?
They don’t believe me. They think I’ll hurt them, hurt Jamie!
“Please,” I whispered. “It’s the only way to save him.”
“Patient, isn’t it?” Kyle spit. “Bided its time well, don’t you think?”
I fought the desire to choke him again.
“Doc?” I begged.
He didn’t meet my eyes. “Even if there was any way we could let you outside, Wanda… I just couldn’t trust drugs I don’t understand. Jamie’s a tough kid. His system will fight this off.”
“We’ll go out again, Wanda,” Ian murmured. “We’ll find something. We won’t come back until we do.”
“That’s not good enough.” The tears were pooling in my eyes. I looked to the one person who might possibly be in as much pain as I was. “Jared. You know. You know I would never let anything hurt Jamie. You know I can do this. Please.”
He met my gaze for one long moment. Then he looked around the room, at every other face. Jeb, Doc, Kyle, Ian, Trudy. Out the door at the silent audience whose expressions mirrored Kyle’s: Sharon, Violetta, Lucina, Reid, Geoffrey, Heath, Heidi, Andy, Aaron, Wes, Lily, Carol. My friends mixed in with my enemies, all of them wearing Kyle’s face. He stared at the next row, which I couldn’t see. Then he looked down at Jamie. There was no sound of breathing in the whole room.
“No, Wanda,” he said quietly. “No.”
A sigh of relief from the rest.
My knees buckled. I fell forward and yanked free of Ian’s hands when he tried to pull me back up. I crawled to Jamie and pushed Trudy aside with my elbow. The silent room watched. I took the compress from his head and refilled the melted ice. I didn’t meet the stares I could feel on my skin. I couldn’t see anyway. The tears swam in front of my eyes.
“Jamie, Jamie, Jamie,” I crooned. “Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.”
I couldn’t seem to do anything but sob out his name and touch the packets of ice over and over, waiting for the moment they would need changing.
I heard them leave, a few at a time. I heard their voices, mostly angry, fade away down the halls. I couldn’t make sense of the words, though.
Jamie, Jamie, Jamie…
“Jamie, Jamie, Jamie…”
Ian knelt beside me when the room was almost empty.
“I know you wouldn’t… but Wanda, they’ll kill you if you try,” he whispered. “After what happened… in the hospital. They’re afraid you have good reason to destroy us.… Anyway, he’ll be all right. You have to trust that.”