"Oh, well excuse me. I mean since there are immortals running around, I figure we may as well bring on the faeries, wizards, werewolves, and-" I shake my head. "I mean jeez, you talk about all this like it's normal!"
He closes his eyes and sighs. And when he opens them again he says, "For me it is normal. This is my life. And now it's your life too, if you choose it. It's not as bad as you think, Ever, really." He looks at me for a long time, and even though part of me still wants to hate him for making me this way, I just can't. And when I feel that overwhelmingly warm, tingly pull, I gaze down at the hand that he's holding and say, "Stop it."
"Stop what?" He looks at me, his eyes tired, the skin surrounding them tense and pale;
"Stop making that warm, tingly, you know. Just stop it!" I say, my mind torn between love and hate.
"I'm not making that, Ever." His eyes are on mine.
"Of course you are! You're making it happen with your… whatever." I roll my eyes and fold my arms across my chest, wondering where we possibly go from here.
"I'm not manifesting that.. I swear. I'd never use trickery to seduceyou."
"Oh, yeah, like the tulips?"
He smiles. "You have no idea what they mean, do you?" I press my lips and look away.
"Flowers have meaning. There's nothing random about it."
I take a deep breath and rearrange the table with my mind, wishing I could rearrange my mind instead.
"There's so much to teach you," he says. "Though it's not all fun and games. You need to take caution, proceed with care." He pauses and looks at me, making sure that I'm listening. "You have to guard against the misuse of power; Drina's a good example of that. And you must be discreet-which means you can't share this with anyone, and I mean no one, understand?"
I just shrug, thinking: Whatever. Knowing he's read my thoughts when he shakes his head and leans toward me.
"Ever, I'm serious, you cannot tell a soul. Promise me." I look at him.
He raises his brow, his hand squeezing mine. "Scout's honor," I mumble, looking away.
He lets go of my hand and relaxes, leaning back against the cushions when he says, "But in the interest of full disclosure you need to know that there's still a way out. You can still cross over. In fact, you could've died right there in the canyon, but instead, you chose to stay."
"But I was prepared to die, I wanted to die."
"You empowered yourself with your memories. You empowered yourself with love.
It's like I said earlier-thoughts create. And in your case, they created healing and strength.
If you really wanted to die you would've simply given up. On some deeper level you must've known this."
And just when I'm about to ask him why he was sneaking into my room while I slept, he says, "It's not what you think."
"Then what was it?" I ask, wondering if I really want to know.
"I was there to… observe. I was surprised you could see me, I was transmuted, so to speak."
I wrap my arms around my knees and bring them close to my chest. Everything he just said went right over my head, but I get just enough of the gist to be suitably creeped out.
He shrugs. "Ever, I feel responsible for you, and-"
"And you wanted to check out the goods?" I look at him, eyebrows raised.
But he just laughs. "May I remind you of your penchant for flannel pajamas?"
I roll my eyes. "So you feel responsible for me, like-like a dad?" I say, laughing as he cringes.
"No, not like a dad. But Ever, I was only in your room that one time, the night we saw each other at the St. Regis, if there were other times-"
"Drina." I cringe, picturing her creeping around my room, spying on me. "Are you sure she can't come here?" I ask, glancing around.
He takes my hand and squeezes, wanting to reassure me when he says, "She doesn't even know it exists. Doesn't know how to get here. As far as she's concerned, you Simply vanished into thin air."
"But how'd you get here? Did you die once, like me?"
He shakes his head. "There are two types of alchemy: physical, which I stumbled upon because of my father, and spiritual, which I stumbled upon when I sensed something more, something bigger, something grander than me. I studied and practiced and worked hard to get here, even learned TM." He stops and looks at me. "Transcendental Meditation from Maharishi Mahesh Yogi." He smiles.
"Um, if you're trying to impress me, it's not really working, I have no idea what any of that means."
He shrugs. "Let's just say it took hundreds of years for me to translate it from the mental to the physical. But you-from the moment you wandered into the field, you were granted a sort of backstage pass, your visions and telepathy are by-products of that."