There. I said it. When Dorian doesn’t respond, I take the liberty to finish my sullen thoughts while I still have the courage. “It’s probably for the best anyway. No one will ever want to marry me, considering what I am. Especially since I can’t have children.”
I shrug, hoping to make light of the situation and convince myself that I’m alright, that I’m only imagining the aching in my tight chest. When I finally will myself to look back up to meet Dorian’s eyes, I see that his expression is one of anguish and sorrow. Shit. I must’ve hit the nail right on the head. That or he feels sorry for me, the pitiful little girl who sits stripped and naked before him. Either conclusion is unbearable.
Dorian swallows then looks down as he formulates the most tactful way to confirm my fears. When his eyes meet mine, there is something in them. Regret. But why? “Gabriella, I could never marry you.”
Ouch. Though I expected that reaction, I can’t halt the debilitating ache radiating in my chest, making its way up to my throat in the form of an agonized knot. I try to steady my breathing, trying to reel my emotions in, but I can’t mask the pain that I know is surely engraved on my now pale face. I turn my head to look away, too pained and afraid to look this truth in its ugly face.
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” he continues, shaking his head. “I would love nothing more than to spend my life with you. You know that. But marrying you is something else entirely. For my kind, that is.”
“Is it?” I whisper, my throat tight and raw.
Dorian nods solemnly. “I am in succession to the throne. One day I will be king, if I live to see that day. Marrying you will make you queen. It will completely thrust you into the Dark. You don’t want that. I don’t want that. You deserve a normal life. You deserve a choice.”
Huh? A life without Dorian? That’s not a choice; that’s a death sentence.
“Then why did you make me think we’d be together forever? If you wanted me to lead a normal life? You want me to choose someone else?”
“I don’t want it, but it’s not fair of me to expect you to settle for this,” he says with a wave of his hand. “For me.” Settle for Dorian? He thinks I’m settling? What the hell? “And I will always be with you. Even if it’s merely watching you in the shadows. I have no choice in the matter. I am completely addicted to you.”
“So this has nothing to do with me not being enough for you? Enough to sustain you?” I look back down at my hands. “And not being able to give you children?”
“Absolutely not!” he suddenly shouts, causing my head to snap back up to gauge his furious expression. “Stop saying that! You are enough, Gabriella! I know you can’t conceive; I’ve always known. And I don’t care. You are all I want, do you understand me? You and only you!”
Dorian’s passionate declaration causes tears to prick the rims of my eyes. I blink furiously trying to dismiss them, yet one solitary hot tear escapes and slides down my cheek. I look up at him through glassy eyes, too overwrought with emotion to say anything in response in fear that more tears will quickly follow. Seeing me desperately trying to maintain my composure, Dorian pulls me into his arms, burying my face into his chest as he strokes my hair. I breathe in the freshness of his skin and let the euphoric scent soothe my aching heart.
“You are enough, little girl. You are everything,” he whispers into the crown of my head. And I cry silent tears into the warmth of his smooth, bare chest.
Chapter Fifteen
With the falling of the first leaves of autumn, I fall deeper into the life that was set out for me, deeper into my destiny. With Dorian. Things have been oddly normal, a feeling I used to despise about my once mundane life. But now it’s something that I crave, something that I haven’t felt since I was nineteen. I have finally begun to accept that this is my new normal. My life will never go back to the ordinary charade it once was. Not to mention, waking up to the mouthwatering supernatural being beside me is anything but ordinary.
“Good morning, beautiful girl,” Dorian murmurs in my hair. His eyes are still closed and his body is tangled with mine in a tight embrace.
“Good morning. Sleep well?”
“Mmmm, I’m not sure I’m done sleeping yet. I was having the most magnificent dream.”
“Oh? About what?” I reach my hand up to play in his black tousled locks. His bed head is extraordinarily sexy.
“If I tell you, than it won’t come true. And I so desperately want it to be true,” he says, inhaling the fragrance of my hair.