By Monday night, I am overwhelmed with the discouraging thoughts that have plagued my mind every second Dorian and I are apart. I need him. I’ve become an addict, completely strung out on the feeling he gives me. But it goes beyond that. Dorian tantalizes every part of me. His passion, his intellect, the mystery that hides behind those startling baby blue eyes- I want it all. My first instinct is to reject the intense hunger for him, to run away and hide my true desires. But I can’t. He consumes me completely.
Suddenly the fortune teller’s haunting words resonate in my head as if her ghost can read my forlorn thoughts.
“Darkness approaches you from many angles. It eclipses the light around you, pulling you further and further into a world of great pain and tragedy. It seeps into you. Alters you. Soon it will consume you completely. Yet, you will allow it. You will welcome the darkness. Because you are the darkness.”
I am the darkness. And it seems as if Dorian is pulling me deeper into the curse of my bloodline. I am going further into the Dark. It’s what he wants. He wants me to align with the Dark so we can be together. But wouldn’t that be like selling my soul to the devil simply for love?
I arrive at Dorian’s hotel suite late that evening after texting him the four dreaded words that make a guy’s balls jump into his stomach.
-We need to talk.
I use the key card he’s given me and let myself in, finding him out on the balcony, staring blankly into the night. A crystal glass of scotch is in his hand, his other resting on the railing. Even shrouded in darkness, wearing only dark slacks and a black sleeveless undershirt, he takes my breath away. This is going to be harder than I thought.
“You’re worried,” he says on my approach without turning around.
I go to him, sliding my arms around his firm waist. He smells heavenly as always, causing me to nestle my face into his hard back.
“With good reason,” I reply. “We should have had this conversation months ago. But you always seem to distract me.”
Dorian finally turns to face me, looking down at me with a sexy half-smirk. His eyes are dancing with wild possibilities, causing my heartbeat to quicken at just the sight of him. “Can I distract you now?” he breathes seductively.
Yes, yes you can.
“Maybe later,” I respond, stowing my body’s carnal requests. If I give him my body now, then I might as well surrender my will. I have to stand strong, no matter how bad I want him, which is pretty damn bad.
Dorian sighs reluctantly and leads me back inside. He stops to refill his drink, pouring one for me as well.
“Have you eaten?” he asks, handing me my glass as I take a seat on the black and gold couch.
I shake my head. “Later for that too.” I take a much needed swig and meet his icy glare.
Dorian nods stiffly and sits on the adjacent loveseat, not bothering to hide his irritation. Neither one of us relishes the thought of going into such sensitive territory, especially since we only recently kissed and made up. But the longer we put this off, the murkier our future seems.
I take a deep breath, steeling myself as to not seem meek or uncertain. “I think I made a mistake when I said I’d work for you and live at Paralia.”
Dorian sips his poison and looks at me with a blank, unreadable expression. I don’t know if I’ve offended him or if he agrees. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I’ve made myself completely dependent on you. If you leave me, I’m homeless, jobless, and completely clueless. I’m broken, even more so than when you met me. I think we rushed into all this and maybe we should slow down.”
“Slow down? Is that really an option for us?” he asks incredulously. “Gabriella, we don’t have all the time in the world to fool around. All we have is now.” He takes another hefty gulp and sets down his glass.
I take a sip and nod in agreement. “I know. I know tomorrow isn’t promised for either of us. But I shouldn’t abandon common sense and be blinded by my feelings for you. Why should I trust that you’ll never abandon me? That you really won’t…kill me?”
Before I can blink, he’s beside me, evaporating swirls of grey surrounding him. Dorian grasps my face between his hands, his eyes searching mine intently. “What do I have to do for you to understand that I would never leave you? Would never hurt you? I’ve given you my heart, my life. Shit. What else do you want?” he says just above a whisper.
The desperation in his voice, the earnest look on his face pierces the depths of my resolve. He’s given me everything, yet I still question his devotion. But it’s not him who I doubt. It’s me. I know that I could never be worthy of such a beautiful creature. I’m selfish, irrational, brash, and unstable. I’m everything he’s not. It’s only a matter of time before the other shoe drops and he realizes it for himself.