Morgan shrugs. “Actually, no. He thought your crazy ass was funny. Maybe he was even a bit endeared by the whole thing. But you had to leave before you were thrown out for fighting.”
Fighting? “What? I was in a fight?” I sure as hell didn’t feel like I was, unless Dorian…no, never mind. He can’t heal. Not that I would need healing.
“No, thank God. He pulled you away before anything escalated. Apparently, some girl was getting a bit too up close and personal with him while he was at the bar getting you some much-needed water. I would have checked her myself if I had seen it, but I guess you did.”
Morgan puts her fork down and peers at me with cautious eyes. “Gabs, you walked over, grabbed the girl by her hair and nearly yanked her across the room. Dorian wasn’t even giving her the time of day and you were ready to commit murder! It was unreal! He had to literally carry you out of there, kicking and screaming like a psycho.
“Gabs, I love you, girl. You know I do. But when you get drunk, it’s like balls to the wall, sorority girl, Hangover, spring break, Girls Gone Wild drunk. And it just seems like you’re going down that path again. I know you had a rough week and all, but these past few days were scary for me. I’d come home every night, and you’d be drunk, listening to sad ass music. Seriously, if I have to listen to your breakup playlist one more freakin’ time, I will shoot myself. And then the tattoo? What’s going on, Gabs?”
I study my half-eaten chicken sandwich before meeting Morgan’s questioning eyes. What can I say to her? Yeah, we all have our demons, but how do I explain that my demons are a part of me? That I am the demon?
I’m sorry,” I say shaking my head. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I didn’t even mean to get that drunk.” My mouth twists into a pained grimace. “The past few days were really bad for me. I just got carried away.”
Morgan’s hand flies to mine, and she rests her palm on the back of it gently. “Hey, Gabs, you are not an embarrassment. I’m just worried, you know, of what to expect,” she says, her voice cracking towards the end. She picks up her iced tea and takes a sip. “You are so wrapped up in Dorian, I feel that if things were to end, it will completely crush you. I don’t want to see you lose yourself. I know you love him and I know he is your first real boyfriend. And I do like him. But the hold he has on you worries me. I know you are this bad ass, tough chick, but I really do believe that Dorian has the ability to break you. He may be the only one who can. You manage his store, you live in his apartment… what happens if you two break up?”
I swallow, clearly disturbed at the course this conversation has taken. The question is one I’ve pondered at length yet have not come up with a reasonable response. Where would it leave me? Back at Chris and Donna’s house, broken and utterly despaired? And my friends…if Dorian and I split, will he undo the wards that protect them? Will he…kill me?
“I can’t say what will happen, Morgan. I can only hope that we never have to find out.” I look up at my best girlfriend and try to give her a confident smile, yet fail. “But I will try to do better. I promise.”
Morgan nods and smiles back before picking up her fork and stabbing a piece of grilled chicken. “I know, girl. I just don’t want to see you hurt. You have so much to offer, so much to live for. I don’t want you to throw all that away for a guy. No matter how ridiculously rich and handsome he is,” she winks.
I spend the rest of the evening contemplating my conversation with Morgan. She’s right, and admitting that truth has put me in a bad head space. Not to mention the rainy, gloomy weather but I know it is a necessary evil. Dorian made good on his promise to give me what I craved and then some. After dragging me out of Aria and relieving me of the copious amounts of alcohol in my system, he slowly tortured my body with crippling pleasure for hours. The term ‘multiple orgasms’ simply does not measure up to what he gave me, making me eat my words from our racy car ride.
But of course, our passion has a price. He gave me so much of himself, and regrettably has had to stay away because of his own craving for me. For my power. The thought that his attraction to me is somehow biologically engraved in him still daunts me, yet I can’t be certain that my yearning for him is any different. Of course I’d be attracted to him, even without the supernatural pull. But Morgan’s words still echo in my head.
Dorian can break me.
I’ve never put too much stock into any guy, Jared included. I could have lived with solely his friendship. But can I live without Dorian? When both of our lives are so expendable in the eyes of the Dark, and even the Light, could living without him be an actual possibility?