“You said my Dark is showing tonight,” I say after a few contemplative moments. “What’d you mean by that?”
I feel Dorian smile against the crown of my head. “You are drawn to Dark elements- eroticism, alcoholism, aggression, masochism. It’s who you are. It’s what sustains you. But you are unlike any of us. You want it all. And you have the power to manipulate it all. You invoke them in me often.”
What? Hell no! Dorian feels the tension building in my body and squeezes me a bit tighter to soothe me.
“But you draw from Light. The sun strengthens you. You’re compassionate, loving, nurturing. You’re a natural protector. You see the good in people even when they don’t see it in themselves. Even when there’s none to be found. You’re good. And you make me want to be good too. For you.”
I take a moment to digest Dorian’s assessment of the anomaly that is me. So many things to him, yet I don’t even know who I am. Am I good? I hurt the people closest to me, the people I love, whenever I lose control. Nurturing? Compassionate? I’ve never considered myself either of those things. I still don’t have a tight grasp on who I truly am. I’m still Unknown, still Nobody. Because even with the discovery of my paranormal heritage and the prophecy of what I was meant to be, I’m just not there. I’m just regular old Gabs. The girl who was never good enough.
“Do you want me to align with the Dark?” I say to break the deafening silence.
“Part of me does. Yes.”
“Why? If you hate what you are so much?”
“So we can be together.” Dorian rests his hands on my shoulders, looking me in my bewildered hazel eyes. “And I don’t hate what I am, Gabriella. I know what I am. I accept it. You just still have not accepted that the same darkness that lives in me also lives in you.”
He’s right. I refer to his darkness as something foreign, unlike me in every way. But I harbor the same Dark element. It’s in me. But because it has been a part of who I was for the past twenty years, I never deemed it as alien. Maybe I was built to be Dark. I didn’t fall in love with someone from the Light. I didn’t build an unbreakable bond with that side of me. It was the Dark who accepted me, while the Light chose to forsake me. Maybe my destiny is to rule the Dark with my Dark Prince.
“Now, little girl, if you are feeling better, I believe we have a score to settle,” Dorian says sitting upright.
“What are you talking about?” I turn to him, a question in my hazel eyes.
“I think you know exactly what I am talking about. I told you that you would regret that little stunt. And after tonight, you will think twice about playing games with me.” Dorian licks his lips and the pink of his tongue causes my breath to hitch.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to give you what you need. What you crave,” he responds with dark hooded eyes. He bears his teeth and my heartbeat quickens in response. “And when you think that you can’t take anymore, when your body trembles with the intense waves of pleasure, and you cry because ecstasy completely overwhelms you, I’m going to do it again. And again. Until you are blissfully ruined. Until the only thing you see when you close your eyes is me.”
And without further explanation, Dorian does just that.
Chapter Fourteen
“Just give it to me straight. How bad was it?”
Morgan pulls at a lock of her now honey blonde hair and cringes at the memory. “Well…it wasn’t horrible. I’ve seen worse. Shit, I’ve done worse!” she giggles. She abandons her hair-of-the-month and commences to stabbing her overdressed salad. “But it was pretty shocking. Even for you, Gabs.”
Shit. I’ve really done it this time. It’s late afternoon on Sunday, two days after Carlos’s birthday celebration at Aria. Morgan and I both have the day off, a first since we moved in together, and made a promise to catch up and have some girl time.
“That bad, huh?” I say, trying to piece together the foggy memories of Friday night. “It just seems like a blur to me. What was the worst part?”
Morgan’s eyes turn towards the sky and she chews her lip as if lost in silent deliberation. “Well, when you pulled Dorian on the dance floor and sang along to Bad Romance, I think even I was a bit uncomfortable. It was like GaGa gone wrong. Terribly wrong,” she laughs.
Bad Romance? I sang to him? Oh no, no, no! “And then what? He got me out of there?” Oh, please say he saved me from further embarrassment. Singing is bad enough, but me trying to be sexy at the same time? That is just cruel and unusual punishment.