Redemption of a Fallen Woman(50)

‘And he did not take it well.’

‘He took it as one might expect.’

‘I see.’

‘He may have suspected before that I was soiled goods, now I have confirmed it.’

Concha regarded her with alarm. ‘He has not repudiated your marriage?’

‘No, but he could not conceal his disgust.’ Elena sighed. ‘Matters had been going on so well between us and now I’ve ruined everything.’

‘What could have induced you to rake up the past?’

‘Harry was there. At Badajoz. He told me.’

‘What!’

‘He was an officer in the British army. He took part in the siege but he was not among those who ran riot. He said he tried to stop them.’

‘It may be so,’ replied Concha. ‘Unfortunately nothing short of cannon could have stopped that mob.’

Elena nodded. ‘I know. It’s just that I was shocked to learn that he had been involved at all. He should have told me.’

‘Yes, he should but perhaps he feared to.’

‘These are fearful subjects but it doesn’t mean we should run away from them. Running away solves nothing. It has taken me long enough to learn that.’

‘I know, and you’re right, of course.’

‘I was angry with him.’

‘That’s hardly surprising.’

‘As soon as he mentioned the place it all came back and suddenly I wanted him to hear my version of events.’

‘Well, that is understandable.’

‘I wanted to shock him and I succeeded. I saw it in his face.’

‘I’ll wager you did.’

Elena sighed. ‘We were not the only ones to suffer, Concha. He lost his fiancée. She burned to death when the looters set fire to the house.’

‘Madre de Dios. What evil deeds were done then! But if His Lordship knows all this he will surely sympathise with your situation. He cannot blame you for something that was not your fault.’

‘He did not blame me,’ said Elena. ‘Nor could he conceal his distaste. Perhaps I should have let sleeping dogs lie.’

‘Sooner or later it was going to come out. If not it would only have festered between you like an abscess.’

‘But now the poison is uncontained.’

‘At least it has a chance to drain.’

‘I hope it may.’

Concha regarded her shrewdly. ‘You care for him, don’t you?’

‘Yes, I care for him, but I have to be able to trust him.’

‘He made a mistake in not telling you about Badajoz before, but that does not mean he is untrustworthy.’

‘There is such a thing as lying by omission.’

‘I cannot believe he intended it thus. It contradicts all the rest of his behaviour towards you.’ Concha eyed her steadily. ‘I truly believe he cares for you.’

‘I thought he did but now...’

‘Badajoz is emotional gunpowder and he did not handle it wisely.’

Elena sighed. ‘Perhaps I am the one who did not handle it wisely.’

‘A frank discussion does not destroy true affection,’ said Concha. ‘If he is the man I believe him to be he will not think less of you for it.’

‘I hope you’re right.’

Concha looked thoughtful. ‘You realise there is another witness to the events at Badajoz?’

‘Another?’

‘Jack Hawkes was in your husband’s regiment.’

As the ramifications of that statement sank in Elena was suddenly still. ‘Of course.’

‘It is most likely that he knows what happened to his master at that time.’

‘He may not wish to speak of it.’

‘If you don’t ask you’ll never know, will you?’

Elena pondered the matter for some time. It was not quite as straightforward as Concha had suggested. For a start the emotion was too raw. Secondly, she didn’t want to go behind Harry’s back, and thirdly, if Jack had been told not to speak of the matter he would not break his master’s confidence. In spite of Harry’s admission she was sure there were other things he was not telling her. No doubt he had his reasons for that, but his reticence hurt. Possibly he had been too shocked by her revelations. Concha was right: he could have repudiated the marriage on such grounds. Most men would have. A wife was expected to be pure. What men did was one thing. Women’s behaviour was quite another and society was swift to punish perceived transgressions. Her relatives were evidence enough of that. She had thought Harry different. Of course, she had believed he had known what she was before they married. Her uncle was much to blame in that. The truth was unpalatable but it had needed to come out. Until the whole business was out in the open they could not address it.