Illusion(11)

“Why are you stopping?” I groaned in frustration. He rolled to face me, propping his head up in one of his hands, the muscles in his arms and shoulders rolling with the movement. He grinned and the light from the lamp cast interesting shadows across his handsome face. I traced the contours of his handsome face with my eyes, across the lines of his high cheekbones and slightly crooked nose. Unable to resist the call of his lips, I raised my head up slightly to kiss him. His free arm pulled me closer to him and he eased me back down on the bed, deepening the pressure with his strong, firm lips. One of my legs snaked around the curve of his taut ass and my hands went to his hair, my fingers tangling in the silky, blond strands. A growl vibrated soft and low in his throat as he reluctantly dragged his lips away from mine.

“Seductress,” he teased. He didn’t move, he kept me pinned underneath him.

“I’m obviously not doing a very good job if we’re still talking, Stefan,” I pouted. He reached over me to turn out the light and I panicked, grasping his arm tightly as tears filled my eyes. “No! Leave on the light!”

He froze and stared down at me, confusion flashing across his face. “You are afraid?” His eyes searched mine and I swallowed back a sob, trying to look away. His hand grasped my chin and forced me to look at him. “Josephine?”

My mind drifted back to the carriage house and the darkness in my mind where I’d retreated. At the time, I was afraid he’d be an illusion. His presence and voice were the only thing that kept me anchored to reality. It would have been so easy…

Shaking my head slightly, I pulled myself from the memory. He was still watching me, reading my thoughts as the memory had played back through my mind. His bewildered expression changed to one of anger. “I will not let anything happen to you, vackra. I will never leave you. Never.”

“I’m just being silly, Stefan. I’m fine.”

“You are not fine. A person that is ‘fine’ does not react the way you just did to something as simple as turning off a lamp. Why are you frightened?” Stefan asked pointedly. “Tell me what you are not letting me see.”

“No. I don’t want to talk about it.” I feebly tried to wiggle away from him. He applied more of his weight to me, effectively holding me in place. “Stefan, move.”

“I am not moving. Start talking,” he ordered, his voice terse. “If I remember correctly, you said that if things were going to work between us we needed to communicate. You are not communicating with me.”

Damn Stefan and his vampire memory! I hated to admit that he was right. I had told him when we were still in Bali that we had to be honest with each other.

“Alright, I’ll tell you. When I blacked out, I was afraid everything was a dream or a fragment of my imagination. I couldn’t move or communicate and I would have flashes of memories. You were by my side the whole time and your presence in my mind is what kept me here. I was scared I’d wake up and you’d be gone.” I sighed in defeat. “Are you happy now, Mr. Total Disclosure?”

He frowned and shook his head. “No, I am not happy to know that you are frightened.” He rolled back on his side and paused for a moment, running his fingertips across my lips. “Would you like to know what I was thinking as I watched you lay on that fucking couch? For the first time in my existence, I felt helpless… I wanted nothing more than to see your green eyes staring back at me. I searched for centuries for you and you were lost to me. I can protect your body. How can I fight off the demons in your mind?”

He was off the bed and darted to the window, pushing the motorized curtains open. The lights of New York twinkled in the background and he stood with his back to me, frozen in front of the window, as beautiful as a finely-sculpted statue.

I rolled over on my stomach and rested my chin in my hands. “You can’t protect me from everything, silly. And you’re making a mountain out of a mole hill.”

He whirled around to face me, his face was terrifyingly stunning in his anger. “As your mate it is my job to protect you. Everyone else is meaningless to me, Josephine. If I were to lose you now my life is forfeit.”

“Don’t talk that way. If something would happen to me, I want you to be happy,” I whispered, shivering at the thought of Stefan just giving up and asking to be killed if something were to happen to me.

He darted back to the bed, his chest heaving with emotion. “You do not get it, do you? I only existed on this earth prior to meeting you. You have made me feel more than I did even during my human life.”