Fear of Falling(92)

I knew Blaine was different. I wasn’t naive to the fact that I had feelings for him. Feelings that I never thought someone like me could ever harbor. I just didn’t know how deep those feelings could run. And holy shit…they ran deep. So deep that the impulse to stay and make Blaine the center of my universe was just as strong as the one to run like hell and escape the unknown.

Even as I made my way through the doors at Dive after waking up in his arms just hours before, sentiments of both bliss and dread overwhelmed me. I counted to 10, but the queasy feeling in my gut didn’t subside. My hands were clammy, and tiny beads of sweat broke out on the back of my neck. Still, something kept my feet moving farther into the building. Towards him. Running away wasn’t even an option.

The moment his deep brown eyes bore into mine, I knew exactly what that impulse was. It was all him. All Blaine. My affections for that scary-beautiful man had won out over reason and rendered me absolutely dumbfounded. I knew I was a fool, but dammit, I was a deliriously happy one.

“You’re not gonna make this easy, are you?” I asked, after I eased behind the bar.

Blaine narrowed his eyes, one side of his mouth curling into a knowing smirk. “Make what easy?”

I looked around to make sure no one was in earshot. “Playing it cool. Trying to act like nothing happened.”

“And why would I want you to do that?”

I frowned. “You don’t really want everyone knowing that we… slept together, do you?”

“Why not?” he shrugged. “I mean, no, they don’t need details. But Kami, what happened between us was more than just sex. You get that, right?”

“Um…yeah?”

“Not convinced that you do.”

Without saying another word, Blaine hopped on top of the bar and towered over the Dive Hump Day Happy Hour crowd. Everyone looked up at him like he had three heads.

“Attention everyone! You see this beautiful woman behind the bar? Well… I am pretty much crazy about her. Like fucking insane. And whether she wants it or not, Kami’s got me. All of me. And, all bullshit aside, I just want her too.”

Half the bar erupted into cheers, most of the patrons raising their glasses to Blaine and me in an air-toast while the other half ignored us completely. When Blaine hopped down from his makeshift soapbox, I was already seven shades of red and completely mortified.

“Oh my God! Why did you do that?” I screeched, covering my face.

Blaine gently tugged my hands and wrapped them around his waist before grasping my flush cheeks in his large tattooed hands. “Because, Kami, when you know, you know. And you don’t fight it. You don’t deny the inevitable. You free fall because you know there’s someone there to catch you on the other side.”

His face inched closer to mine, close enough for the scent of mint and spice to intoxicate me as his earnest words entranced me. “You don’t have to be afraid of falling. Just close your eyes, let go, and know that I’ll always be here with arms outstretched, ready to catch you.”





“So Blaine, what’s going on with you and my girl?” Angel asked, before taking a bite out of her French fry.

It was Thursday, over a week since Blaine and I had officially crossed the line from friends to lovers, leading to a mortifying declaration to the entire bar. Open Mic Nights were quickly becoming just as popular as nights when AngelDust ruled the stage, especially since my performance two weeks prior. Luckily, I had successfully reiterated to Angel that it was a one-time deal. She promised not to spring anymore surprises on me though I did have to throw her a teeny tiny bone and confess my real feelings for Blaine. To most, it was obvious. But me actually saying the words out loud to another living soul? Major.

Blaine swung his gaze to me and smiled. “You’ll have to ask Kam.”

“Ugh. Don’t you think I tried? I even bribed her with promises of shoes and handbags. Nothing. I swear, that girl is a steel vault,” Angel griped, rolling her eyes.

“Get over it,” Dom chimed in, swiping a chicken tender from her plate. “Not everyone is as shameless as you. Or slutty.”

“Slutty? Oh you’re one to talk! I’m sorry…I believe I ran into one of your “dates” this morning after you left for work. What was her name again? You know…the one with the butterfly tattoo?”

“How the hell should I know?” Dom munched away before whipping his head back to Angel with wide eyes. “Wait! How would you know about her tattoo? A tattoo that’s on her ass?!”

I watched as the pieces fell into place for Dom, while Angel gave him a devious grin.