I looked up at him through watery eyes, and could clearly see the compassion etched in his face. “Now do you see why you don’t want me? The real me? My own father despised me from the day I was born. And my mother was so messed up herself that she forgot I existed. She forgot to love me. I live in a world of constant fear where monsters exist, and there are no happily-ever-afters. Only pain. And sorrow. Hatred. You don’t deserve that.”
“And neither do you,” he uttered with a wavering voice. He pulled me into his hard chest and squeezed out another fresh wave of tears as he stroked my hair. “Neither do you, baby.”
“Blaine, please don’t do this. Please don’t be nice to me. Please don’t act like you want me when you don’t. It’s ok; I’m used to it.”
“Dammit, Kami,” he growled pulling me from his chest and grasping my shoulders. “Stop trying to push me away. Stop trying to make me not want you. Because guess what? I care about you. And I do want you. So fucking bad.”
Before my mind could dissuade my heart, I looked into his brown eyes and let myself free fall into him. “Show me.”
Blaine’s hungry mouth captured mine as he pulled my body up into a kiss that shattered all other kisses. We were a mosaic of lips, tongues and teeth, drinking in each other’s agony. I wanted to kiss away his guilt and pain. He wanted to swallow my fear and loathing. And, as my legs wrapped around his waist, the hardness of him pressing into my heat, I let him. I let him because I wanted to be better for him. I wanted to give myself to him freely without worry or hesitation. I wanted Blaine to take it all away.
Our mouths still fused together and moving furiously, Blaine carried me to the staircase. With one hand fisted in my hair, the other grasping my backside, he walked us to his bedroom with ease. I didn’t even know we were there until he laid me down on his bed, settling on top of me. When his lips abandoned me, I nearly cried. Kissing him was finding bliss for the first time. And now that I had finally found it, I never wanted to let it go.
“You are so beautiful, Kami. And so strong,” he murmured against my neck as he dotted it with kisses. “If you only knew how amazing you are… I’ll make you see it. I’ll make you feel it.”
He stroked me through our thin layers of clothing, my dress bunched up to my waist. I didn’t care. I wanted it off. I wanted to feel his skin against mine. I wanted Blaine to fill me with the same bliss that fell from his lips.
As if hearing my unspoken plea, Blaine eased the straps from my sundress off my shoulders, revealing my bare, heavy breasts. He instantly palmed both before drawing a pebbled nipple into his mouth and sucking, swirling his tongue ring around the hardened skin. I cried out as sizzling heat engulfed the area before shooting down between my thighs. I squeezed his waist tighter, locking my legs around him at the ankles. I ached for him. I needed Blaine to put out the flames that each flick of his studded tongue ignited.
He teased the other nipple until the skin was so sensitive that it hurt. Then he eased up on his elbows and gazed down at my writhing body. “I know you said you don’t make love,” Blaine uttered, his gaze branding me with smoldering passion. “But I want you. I need you. So. Bad. Shit… Kami… I need to fuck the fear out of you.”
The air left my lungs in a rush as I absorbed the delicious blow of his words. I was nodding furiously; out of control with my own desire for him to do any and every thing he pleased. “Yes,” I answered breathlessly. “Please.”
A long beat passed as we just stared at each other, our anticipation preluding frenzy. Blaine took my mouth again and claimed it with every stroke of his tongue as he slid my body up farther onto the bed. Gently, he placed my head on a pillow before pulling my dress down the length of my body. I lay before him unashamed and unafraid, in only my panties, as he appraised my body like a rare jewel.
“So fucking gorgeous,” he muttered, as those hooded, chocolate-brown eyes took me in.
“I need to see you too,” I whispered unabashedly.
Without hesitating, Blaine pulled his shirt off with one arm, revealing the masterpiece that was his torso. If I hadn’t felt the warmth of his skin, I would have sworn it was cut from marble, the smooth hard planes and ridges a true work of art. I ran my fingers over his abs and chest, stopping to caress the small silver hoop in his nipple. He groaned and closed his eyes, motivating me to lift up on my hands and kiss it. I felt Blaine’s body tense and tremble as I licked and sucked gently, careful not to get too eager. Touching him was a practice in restraint because God only knew how badly I wanted to push him down and mount him.