My breath expelled in short pants as I tried to regain my wits. It wasn’t just my nerves rising at the thought of being alone with Blaine. It was panic. Terror. No, no, no, this wasn’t happening. Not now, please God, not now.
“Kami, are you alright?” he asked, all traces of seduction wiped clean from his face. “You don’t look so good. Here sit down.”
Blaine grabbed a stool and eased me onto it, just as dizziness claimed my balance. I quickly leaned forward, steadying myself with his body and placed my head between my legs. Then I started the countdown in my head…from twenty. It had truly turned out to be a shitty day.
After a while, the hot clamminess of my skin cooled into a sheen of sweat that blanketed by whole body. My heartbeat slowed from techno to an R&B groove. When I was sure that the dizziness and nausea had ceased, I raised my head and risked a peek at Blaine. Now he knew. There was no hiding my psychosis now. All the better; now I wouldn’t have to be the one to break a heart. I’d have the privilege of being on the receiving end this time.
Blaine looked down at me with nothing but concern etched onto his handsome face. With the halogen lights beaming down directly behind his head, his light brown hair creating a halo of sorts, he reminded me of a sexy, dark angel. There was no disgust, no humiliation, radiating from him. There was only worry for me.
He stroked my cheek adoringly, not even cringing at the tiny beads of sweat that had sprouted in the last 30 seconds. Then he smiled, emitting warmth and comfort in that simple gesture, telling me that it was ok. That I was safe and he was there to, once again, catch me.
His eyes flickered up, and he held a finger up to someone, telling them he’d be with them in a moment. Then he squatted so he and I were eye level, and took my face in his hands.
“You scared me,” he whispered. The pads of his thumbs drew circles on the apples of my cheeks. “How are you feeling?”
I nodded, but I couldn’t find it in me to tell him I was okay, because I knew I never would be. I would always be a nervous fucking wreck, successfully ruining any hopes of a normal relationship.
I swallowed, though my mouth was as dry and thick as cotton. “I’m sorry.” It seemed like the right thing to say.
“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about.” A small frown rested between his brows. “Don’t you dare apologize. You did nothing wrong.”
With his hands still cradling my cheeks, I wanted to believe him. His touch did strange things to me, including making me ignore the warning signs that could have helped us to avoid this drama.
“I’m going to get you some water. Will you be ok to sit here for just a second?”
I smiled my most convincing smile, despite being completely humiliated. “I’m fine. I feel normal now.” I tried to get up to prove it, but Blaine quickly dampened my efforts.
“No, sit here. Don’t try to stand yet. Let me get some water and food in you first.”
I sat idly, feeling like an invalid, while Blaine fetched a cold bottle of water and a basket of fries from the kitchen. He demanded I at least try to eat and drink while he apologized to the waiting customers and quickly filled their orders. I told him I could help, but he wouldn’t hear any of it. I wasn’t about to argue and draw even more attention to myself.
When I had consumed enough food and fluids to appease Blaine, I excused myself to the ladies room to freshen up. Mascara had settled in the corners of my eyes, and sweat-drenched strands of hair stuck to my neck and forehead. I looked like a hot, sweaty mess, and it only added to my embarrassment. I fixed myself as well as I possibly could and made my way back to the front. I needed to work my ass off and redeem myself. Plus, if I appeared busy, maybe Blaine wouldn’t question what brought on the sudden episode.
However, my game plan was quickly forgotten when I spied a pair of boobs practically playing patty-cake with Blaine’s face.
Neither Blaine nor his “friend” noticed when I reentered the bar until I asked a customer if they needed to be helped. It was obvious that Blaine was too busy helping himself to two Slippery Nipples.
“Oh, uh, I don’t know if you two have met, but Kami this is Wendy, an old friend from high school. Wendy this is Dive’s hot new commodity, Kami.”
I rolled my eyes at Blaine’s description of me. It was a typical man move—trying to diffuse the situation with flattery or humor instead of just admitting that he was a super-douche. I shook off my annoyance and quickly gave Wendy a tight smile and a wave. There was no way I was letting him know I was bothered.
“Well, aren’t you just the cutest little thing,” Wendy remarked in her heavy southern accent. All that was missing were daisy dukes, blonde pigtails and mid-drift top adorned with cherries. “The guys here must just eat you up, huh? I bet that CJ has been puttin’ the moves on you. You certainly are his type.” Her eyes ran the length of my body as she took a sip of her Appletini. Typical.