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Fear of Falling(113)

By:S.L. Jennings


I sat staring at him like he was speaking a different language, unable to fully digest his words. My face? He…had ruined my face?

“The police have been waiting to speak to you for quite some time. They should be up shortly. In the meantime, try to relax and I’ll be back shortly to get those tests started. Nurse Claire will give you something for pain management,” Dr. Lovett said, gently patting my shin before exiting the room. Well, at least that didn’t hurt.

My eyes darted between Dom and Angel as soon as we were alone again. “What happened to me? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart,” Dom said softly, leaning over to kiss me on the forehead. I wanted to swat him away, but one arm was in a sling and the other had been skewered with an IV line.

“You know what I mean. What did he do to my face?”

My roommates looked at each other before returning their solemn gazes to me. I could see the sympathy welling in their eyes.

“Well? Is somebody going to talk?”

Dom cleared his throat. “Kam, babe…he…uh…” He took a deep breath before grasping my hand. “Your father used a belt on you. And, uh, the impact, plus the buckle, tore some of the skin from your face, neck and shoulder.” Tears spilled from his eyes as he awaited my reaction.

“I see,” was all I could say. What could I say to that?

“Part of your ear was torn off, and you have some bruising along your cheekbone.”

I nodded, letting understanding seep into my groggy, Morphine-riddled brain. My father had finally done it. He had taken everything from me. Everything…

“Did he rape me?” I deadpanned, not a trace of emotion in my voice.

“Um, Kam,” Angel chimed in. “A psychiatrist will be in soon to talk to you about the attack. We were able to convince the staff here to let us break the news about everything else because of how…fragile you are…”

“Fragile?” I snorted. “I’m not fragile. To be fragile I’d have to be breakable. You obviously can’t break what’s already broken.”

“Kam, you aren’t broken,” Dom interjected.

“Aren’t I? Look at me.”

Dom and Angel both let their eyes drop to the floor.

“I said look at me, dammit!” It hurt to shout, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything. Not the pain, not my face, nothing. I felt nothing. I was nothing.

My friends brought their gazes to my torn face and simultaneously cringed, confirming my suspicions. I was a freak show.

“Now tell me: do I look like someone who is put together? Who has been repaired? Do I look like I’m ok?”

The two of them didn’t answer. They didn’t have to. The horror was written all over their faces.

“Again…did he rape me?”

A long, torturous beat passed before Angel shook her head. “He tried, but he didn’t get a chance to, uh…go all the way before we found you.”

Relief washed over me in waves, but I didn’t show it. I kept my expression stoic. Detached. Cold. “Well, it’s a good thing you showed up in time to stop him.”

“Actually, we have Blaine to thank for that.”

Blaine?

Oh no. Blaine.

“He knows?” I screeched. I wanted to widen my eyes in terror, but they wouldn’t budge. Fuck.

“It was because of him that we found you in time. He insisted we drive him back to the apartment to…”

“He saw me like this?!” I damn near screamed. “He saw what he did to me?”

“Kam,” Dom said softly, stroking my arm. It was the only exposed part of me that wasn’t bandaged. “Blaine was the one to tear him off of you. I mean, yeah, I helped but Blaine…he just went crazy. Like a deranged madman. I ended up having to pull him off before he killed the fucker. Still, he nearly did.”

“He’ll be here soon to see you. We sent him home just to clean up and get a quick shower,” Angel added with an encouraging smile.

I turned my head away as much as the bandages allowed. I didn’t want them to see the tears welling up in my eyes. I didn’t want them to see me feel. “I don’t want him to see me like this.”

“Honey, he’s already seen you. He’s been here waiting for you. He wouldn’t even allow himself to doze off. I damn near had to force him to take a break.”

I turned my head back to my friends. “He’s been here the entire time?”

“Well, he left at first,” Dom replied. Angel shot him a furious look and whispered for him to shut up, like I wasn’t right there. “Well, he did. He just had to get his head right. It was a lot for him to take in, but he came back the next morning.”