Fated(35)
I sat down on the step to wait for Anna and lowered my shields to see her reaction. She was going to try to convince me that I'd be back to normal in no time.
What if trying to be normal wasn't what I wanted anymore? I’d had a taste of stepping outside my comfort zone with Stefan and now going back to pretending didn’t have any allure for me.
My eyes were downcast as I heard Anna's car pull up. I was at the passenger side of the car before she had completely stopped, yanking the door open and plopping down inside the car and hugging my bag against my chest.
“Sweetie, are you ok?” Anna bit her lip as she looked at me, her brown eyes worried.
“No. But I will be,” I said quietly, my eyes focused on the dashboard in front me. I couldn't look at Anna. I didn't want her to see how weak I was, to see the pain that was probably etched on my face.
“Let's get you to my house and get some food and maybe a drink or two in you. You'll feel better in no time.” Anna was trying her best to sound optimistic although she was failing miserably.
“Sounds great. I'll be better in no time.” My voice sounded hollow, even to myself.
If I kept lying, maybe I'd start to believe it. I was silent as Anna drove down the driveway, pulling out onto the main road towards her house. I didn't look back once.
Chapter 6
I'd been hiding out in Anna's house for two days and I’d spent most of the time pretending that I felt better than I actually did. I'd given up any real hope that Stefan was going to come back. It had been three days since I last saw him, making me question his existence and my own sanity.
It was close to midnight and I was tossing and turning in the spare bedroom at her house. Anna was exactly what I'd needed. She only talked if I started the conversation, didn't ask a lot of questions and generally let me keep to myself. She also kept me supplied with a steady supply of wine. Adjusting the covers, I wondered if I could just stay here forever. I wouldn't have to go home and deal with the reality of Stefan not being there.
I'd finally almost dropped off to sleep when I heard voices outside of the house. The sounds were muffled, although I could tell by the tone that whoever was outside was angry. Pulling the pillow over my head to drown out the sound, I rolled over sleepily and imagined Anna in a heated conversation with a spurned surfer in board shorts. I lowered my shields and tried to see Anna's future, confused when I could see nothing.
Right now Anna had no future.
Forgetting about sleep and growing concerned for her, I strained to make out their conversation. The voices steadily increased in volume and I could tell that they were now in the house. Anna's voice was getting louder and was laced with panic as the voices approached my room.
The door burst open and a wild-looking Stefan loomed in the doorway with both hands braced on each side of the frame. His eyes anxiously darted around the room until they focused on me, his handsome face lined with anguish.
I jolted upright and my eyes frantically shifted from Stefan to Anna. She was nervously wringing her hands, giving me an apologetic smile as she left the room and disappeared down the hallway. The room was silent with the exception of my pounding heart and the sound of Stefan's ragged breath.
Gasping weakly, I pulled the covers closer to my chest. I looked back to Stefan, taking in his tousled golden hair and weary face. I couldn't stop the feeling of gratification that rushed through me to see the obvious torment he was feeling. His shoulders were tight and his clothes were wrinkled and disheveled.
I focused my attention on the covers. I didn't want to look at him. Every fiber of my being ached for him and I didn't trust myself to not give in to him. It would have been so simple to reach out to him and sink into the comfort of his embrace again. But I couldn't do that. He'd left me and I couldn't let my heart get broken again. I sat staring at my hands as they fiddled with the blanket, willing myself to hold it together until I could get him to leave.
“Josephine?” Stefan whispered brokenly into the darkness. He crossed the room, dropping to his knees at the side of the bed as if in prayer. “Josephine.”
His large hands stretched across the bed, reaching for me. I hastily yanked my hands to my chest, as if his touch would burn me.
“You left me. You fucking left me,” I seethed, feeling my face twist into a grimace. “I told you everything and you left me! No note, no calls. Nothing! You.left.me.”
“Josephine-” Stefan was crestfallen, running a hand through his messy blond hair. He reached his hand out to me again. It was tempting to touch him, instead I twisted my hands deeper in the sheets.
“Fucking leave, Stefan. I don't want to see you again,” I muttered, slowly inching further away from him on the bed.