“Sure did,” is all I can say.
I let my mind drift to the night before. Showing up at Dorian’s suite, letting him push me up against the wall to thrust his tongue into my mouth, tasting him, feeling him pulsate deep inside of me…
Donna clears her throat loudly, causing me to blink wildly and meet her eyes.
“Huh?” I say, a bit dazed from the memory of Dorian’s tongue kneading the tenderness between my thighs.
“Um, honey, you know I don’t like to pry, but I have to ask. Are you seeing someone?” Donna is beet red and clearly uncomfortable. I’m shocked that she would ask; there hasn’t been any indication of me dating anyone.
“No,” I say slowly, though it sounds more like a question. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, your aura is light red, almost pink,” she states.
“And that means?” I should really do some research. Especially if I’m going to have to keep my emotions at bay.
“Well, um…passion. Romance. Love,” she beams. Love? Oh hell no.
“Sorry to disappoint you, Mom, but I’m still pathetically single.”
It’s true. Dorian and I never defined our relationship and it was, in fact, just one night/morning of mind-blowing, uninhibited, scorching hot sex. Sure, it’d be nice to be able to get a repeat performance without the fear of appearing like a whore, but Dorian just isn’t there yet. And I don’t know if I can ever get there at all.
“But there is someone. It’s more than just physical attraction too. Jared, maybe?” Geez, since when did my mom get psychic abilities? Invasive much?
“Jared is still in the friend zone. Or I should say, I’m still in the friend zone. I thought I wanted more.” I shake my head. “No. I did want more, but it could never work. Not with what I am. What I’ll become.”
Saying it out loud stings. The realization that I will never have a normal relationship with anybody, Dorian included, tugs at my heartstrings. Maybe that’s why I’m not so hard-pressed to venture that far beyond the bedroom.
Donna places her small hand on mine and looks at me regretfully. “I’m so sorry, honey. But you never know, there could be someone out there for you,” she says wistfully.
“They’d have to be either very strong or very dumb, but hey, a girl can dream, right?” I down the rest of my smoothie and head to my room to call Morgan. She’s been blowing up my cell since this morning and I know she’ll want the scoop.
“Oooh, girl, tell me everything!” she shrieks. Usually she’s the one with the wild, raucous stories to share, but now that I’m in the hot seat, it just doesn’t feel right.
“Well, you know, I went over to his suite and knocked on the door. Luckily, he was alone. I was so worried Aurora would be there. She didn’t mention being in a relationship or dating anyone?” The best place to get the latest gossip is a salon. Hairdressers and shrinks are pretty much one and the same.
“No, not really. She said there was a guy she was seeing. I’d see her texting all the time but I never read any. What did Dorian say?” Morgan asks, a hint of worry in her voice.
“He really didn’t say anything. I didn’t press the issue much.” Crap. I went all the way there and didn’t get the answers I was searching for. And I was so sure I’d get to the bottom of the things. But seeing him, feeling him, totally disarmed me. I could barely remember my own name, let alone what I went there for.
“What do you mean? You didn’t ask him if he was dating Aurora?” she says incredulously.
“Uh, not really.” I know I sound like an idiot for being so easily distracted. I just wish I could explain the uncanny magnetism between Dorian and I. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t begin to put that into words.
“Then what did you do?”
I know I have to throw her a bone. That’ll get her off my back for not grilling Dorian about Aurora. “Stuff. Really good stuff,” I reply, knowing this will only lead to a line of questioning that would put Detectives Perkins and Cole to shame.
“Stuff, huh? The kind of stuff that makes you wanna cry because it’s so damn good? The kind of stuff that could get you locked up in some states?” Morgan and her colorful lingo- gotta love her.
“Oh yes. That and then some.” I’m smiling so hard my face hurts.
“Oh hell yes! Tell me everything!”
After vaguely informing Morgan of my absolutely sinful yet exhilarating night with Dorian, I decide it’s time to finish Natalia’s book. I have been putting it off, not quite ready to let it end because it is my only connection to her. It’s as if I feel her presence while reading it and once it is over, she will dissipate. I want to keep her memory alive for as long as I can. I need to feel like I’m not alone in this.