“Well, let’s just hope he is too cocky to even think he needed to. Like you said, we are miniscule to them. They feel as if they are gods among mere mortals. Why waste magic on a bunch of dumb kids and risk a few wrinkles?” I chuckle at first but then dread washes over me, my eyes widening in horror.
“What?” Chris asks, alarmed at my sudden mood change. He looks around as if expecting an intruder and his fists clench tightly.
“How old will I be?” I mutter, my glossy eyes fixed on nothing in particular.
“What do you mean?” Donna asks, though I know she knows what I’m talking about. She puts her hand over mine.
“For the rest of my life? How old will I be forever?” I can’t even look at them.
“It all depends. If you use magic, it ages you. But you can draw from nature to replenish your powers and your youth. That takes longer than… you know. But you will be fine, I know you-”
“No!" I shriek, cutting her off. "You know what I mean! How old will I be? Tell me!” My outburst startles her and she looks to Chris for guidance.
“Twenty-one,” he answers somberly.
The only sounds Chris and Donna hear next are the scraping of my chair and the slamming of my bedroom door.
**********
For the next few days, I bury myself in schoolwork and my job at the mall. It’s hard to believe that just a week ago my biggest worry was getting to class on time. Now I’ve got my impending ascension in an unknown world of magic, an evil murderous stalker, the possible accusation of murder, and Jared’s proposition.
Oh, Jared. No matter how many times I try to rationalize it, I can’t put him at risk. He is so innocent. So ridiculously genuine and good. Subjecting him to this life that is still a mystery to even me is unfair. I would never forgive myself if something happened to him. I know he’s waiting on an answer from me but I just can’t find the words to explain it to him. Guess I’ll have to go with the semi-truth.
“So I’ve really put some thought into what we talked about the other night,” I say as we’re sitting in the atrium on campus. It’s Thursday and both of us have been in a weird space since our talk. Time to get it over with so we can go back to being normal. I miss my friend. “Right now, where my life is at, there are just too many uncertainties. But the one thing I am completely certain about is you. You are more important to me than you will ever know. Sometimes seeing you here is the only reason I wake up to come to class at all!” I chuckle nervously.
“I feel the same way,” he breathes, taking my hand into his, making me more than a little uncomfortable in such a public place. I don’t have the heart to yank it away.
“I need to be my very best for you. I can’t weigh you down with my indecisiveness and personal struggles. You deserve someone who’s got her shit together. I wish I could be that for you, God knows I do. But I’m not. And I have no idea if I’ll ever get it right,” I say looking down. My heart constricts in anticipation of his reaction.
“So what are you saying?” Jared asks flatly. I look up at him with fresh tears brimming my hazel eyes and he immediately softens, stroking my hand. Of course, he would be consoling me when I’m the one rejecting him. He is too damn good for me!
“Gabriella, I don’t want you to be anything else for me than what you already are. You could never weigh me down. Ever. Let me help you through your problems like you helped me through mine.”
“I can’t,” I choke, shaking my head. “I can’t do that to you. Not now. I can’t lose you and I’m afraid that if we move forward and things go wrong, I will. We’ll never be this way again, and I need your friendship.” One fat salty tear escapes the rim of my eyes and rolls down my cheek. Jared reads the pain etched in my face and nods. Acceptance washes over him and I exhale with relief. I don’t think I could have said another word without completely losing it.
“You won’t lose me. I’m not going anywhere,” he smiles. He leans over and kisses my forehead gently and the warmth of his lips instantly soothes me. He feels me relax under his touch and gives my hand a reassuring pat. “Now I think you owe me lunch today after breaking my heart,” he jokes, clutching his chest dramatically. I erupt with giggles, and it’s the first honest laughter I’ve had in days. I feel an enormous weight lifted off my shoulders.
“No problem, whatever you want!” I say, wiping my tear-streaked face with the back of my hand. I could use a bite to eat as well seeing as I haven’t had much of an appetite lately.