My chest rose and fell rapidly as realization shot through me. Austin hadn’t sent me the flowers. He didn’t know that I loved lilies. He didn’t know that flowers were my weakness. He couldn’t possibly be that good of a guesser.
But there was someone who did know those things.
My blood ran cold.
“Oh, fuck,” I gasped.
“Jules?”
“No, no, no, no, no,” I said over and over again.
“You’re white as a ghost. What is going on? Does this have to do with who sent you the flowers?”
I shook my head back and forth and then dropped my head onto my knees. “Oh my God, I’m so stupid.”
“What is going on?”
“I thought I got away,” I whispered. “I thought I was safe.”
“Babe, you’re safe with me.”
I looked up at him through hollow, unseeing eyes. “I’m not safe anywhere.”
“You’re scaring me. What is going on?”
“My name isn’t Julia Banner,” I blurted.
Austin sat heavily on the bed. His eyebrows were scrunched together. “Okay. What is your name?”
“Juliana Peterson.”
“I don’t understand. Why did you change your name?”
“Because of Dillon.”
“And who is Dillon? This guy send you the flowers?”
I nodded. “I think so.” My hands trembled. “He’s my ex-boyfriend.”
“A serious one, I’m guessing.”
“Yeah. The reason I didn’t want to have the exes talk.”
“So, why is he sending you flowers? Are you still seeing him?”
I laughed, but it came out choked and disbelieving. “No, Dillon destroyed my life. There’s so much you don’t know, Austin. Fuck. I wanted to tell you everything. I wanted to tell you who I really was. Ever since Mav died, I wanted to spill it all, but I just…I was worried you’d hate me.”
“Jules, how could I hate you?”
“Because you don’t know anything about me.”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I know everything I need to know about you.”
“You say that now.”
“Then, tell me. You have a different name. So what? I plan to change your last name anyway,” he said passionately. “You can tell me.”
“I met Dillon the summer before college. He was…he was bad news. I liked…like guys that way,” I said, wincing, as my eyes snagged on his tattoos. “I was enamored. Dillon only showed me the parts of him that he wanted me to see. I gave up my full ride at Northwestern to stay home and go to community college. I couldn’t be away from him. He wouldn’t let me be away from him. I was that idiot girl. He was dealing drugs. I knew but thought it didn’t really matter. You don’t grow up around Akron without seeing your fair share of drugs.
“He went from being the perfect boyfriend to being possessive to being…insane. I knew it. I wasn’t stupid. But I thought I loved him. I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t get away.” I shook my head. “I got into Ohio State my sophomore year. At first, he wouldn’t let me go. Then, he expanded his dealing and moved there with me. I had no friends. I had no one. I went to classes. I made straight As. But I was utterly isolated.”
“That still wasn’t enough, was it?”
“I managed to graduate, but the next two years of my life were hell. The only person I had was one of my professors. I put it all on the line. She got me out of Ohio, helped me change my name, and found me the job at Wright.”
“You were lucky to have her.”
“I thank God for her every day,” I admitted. “But…I thought I could escape Dillon forever.”
“And, now, you think he’s found you?”
“It all makes sense,” I whispered, putting all the pieces together. “He stole my jacket. He broke into my car. He probably got my car towed.”
“Julia, that stuff has been happening for weeks.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“Don’t you think he’d have approached you by now?”
“He’s a psychopath. Who knows what his next move is?”
“I wish you’d told me about this shit,” Austin said. He stood and started pacing the room. His hands clenched and unclenched.
“I’m sorry. I know I should have told you, but I haven’t told anyone.”
“I just…fuck!”
“Austin?”
“Just give me a minute.”
He continued pacing, absentmindedly running his hands through his hair. I could see his brain working. I didn’t know if he was trying to find a solution or if he was just pissed at me. I knew the look on his face. He wanted a drink. I was overloading him.