“They filled me in,” Sutton said. Then, she glanced at us both before adding, “A couple of times.”
Nick laughed and grabbed her hand. “I bet they did. They can’t help it. Now, let’s head back and get you prepped. Tell me everything about you. What are we doing today?”
Julia and I followed her into the back room where Nick worked on getting her ready for her tattoo.
“Nervous?” Julia asked.
“Yeah, but I can handle anything now.”
“What are you going to get?”
Sutton glanced down at her wrist. “A dandelion. It’s how Mav and I started. We’d known each other for a year before he worked up the nerve to ask me out. Said I was out of his league. Then, we were at a party. We were both a little tipsy. It was silly at the time, but he plucked a dandelion and wished on it for us. It’s been our thing since then.”
“It’s perfect,” Julia whispered, her voice choked, as if she could barely form the words.
“Yeah,” Sutton said. She reached out and took Julia’s hand. “Thanks for being here for me.”
“Of course,” Julia said.
“I’m happy for you and Austin, you know?”
I smiled and ruffled her hair. “Thanks, Sut.”
“I know that I’d never be able to do this with anyone else. Thank God Jensen isn’t prejudice and doesn’t care what someone looks like as long as they can do the work.”
“I would have been fired a long time ago,” I said.
Sutton rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. For one, you can cover your tattoos with a button-up, but Julia has hers on display. She dyes her hair. She has a nose ring. Her skin is a palette of colors. She doesn’t hide who she is.”
Julia squirmed at the attention. I could tell again that something was wrong. Just like the day before at the wake. She had looked like she wanted to tell me something. I could feel her holding back. A part of herself that I couldn’t seem to reach. I had fallen hard for this girl, and my whole family loved her. I needed to find a way to get that through to her. I didn’t want her to feel like she had to hide.
Nick returned then and started his work. Julia and I alternated with holding Sutton’s hand as she got her first tattoo. By the time she was done, she was shaking. But she looked happy despite the pain she’d endured.
“It wasn’t so bad,” she said as we left sometime later.
Julia and I snickered.
“We’re going to get you addicted,” Julia said.
Sutton nodded vigorously. “I feel like I already am.”
I knew this wouldn’t make it up to her. Nothing ever could. But at least we’d found something to cheer her up even if it was momentary. It gave me hope that she’d pull through in the long haul. Not yet. Not anytime soon. But maybe eventually.
Life went on.
Going back to work on Monday morning felt…crazy. Like we had all been swimming through rough waters and were now expected to sit in the kiddie pool. No fires to put out. Just regular work. How could everything go back to normal, as if Maverick had never died?
His office was on my floor. It had been cleared out before I even got into the office. I didn’t know how I felt about it. Was it a relief or depressing? That we could erase someone so quickly.
I knew one thing. I was glad Sutton didn’t work for the company. We would have made her take time off anyway, but I couldn’t imagine her coming in and seeing that. It’d break her already broken heart.
But we couldn’t ignore work any longer.
Elizabeth Leyton would be coming in this afternoon for her interview for the CFO position. We’d moved her back from last weekend, and we had two more interviews to do before the end of July. I knew Jensen wanted to decide about the position before the end of the summer. That way, everyone could get trained into their spots, and he could work on his private architecture venture.
Everyone was moving into their dream job. Everyone, except me.
The thought of figuring out what I wanted to do with my life and everything with Sutton made me want to open a bottle. Patrick and I had thrown out all the ones in my office weeks ago, so I wouldn’t be tempted. I’d seriously reduced intake just enough to keep me from feeling sick to my stomach. I knew the worst was still yet to come with all of this. Giving it up entirely was the next mission, but it had been hard enough, reducing it. I didn’t think I was ready. My hands shook as the taste of whiskey flooded my mouth, as if I were actually drinking it. Sometimes, the taste would come to me so suddenly that my blood seemed to sing at the thought of having a drink.
But I had Julia. She could get me through this stress. I could make this work. I didn’t need a drink.