“You have a gift,” I told her. “You’ve made me look human again.”
“Go put on your dress,” Heidi said. “I can’t wait to see it all together!”
“All right. All right. I’m going.”
I shimmied into the dress that Heidi had picked out for me from a boutique downtown.
I stepped out of the closet. Heidi whistled.
“You’re ridiculous.”
But I liked the dress. Sutton’s wedding was formal attire, and it was hard enough to find a dress I liked, let alone a full-length dress, but Heidi had done it. The dress was black with a gold shimmer layer underneath that accentuated my figure when I walked. Everything came together with cute peep-toes. Benefit of a winter wedding in Texas was that it would reach the seventies during the day if we were lucky. The weather was pretty erratic.
“You are so getting laid in that dress,” Heidi said.
I dramatically rolled my eyes. “No boys. This is a no-fly zone.”
“You won’t be saying that tonight when you’re getting fucked. All I’m saying,” Heidi said. “Hopefully, it’s Landon Wright. That would be so full circle.”
“Don’t even say that. If I see him, I will run in the opposite direction,” I told her.
Heidi grinned, as if laughing at her own inside joke.
“All right, all right,” Heidi said when she noticed my glare. “No boys. I got it. If Landon approaches you, I’ll distract him. I still have some cheer moves.”
She kicked her leg and nearly touched her nose. Then, she spun around in some intricate dance move. I wasn’t even sure how it was possible that she was this flexible.
“Oh my God, if you do that in your dress, you are going to be more than a distraction for Landon. You are going to rip your dress in half for the entire party to see.”
Heidi laughed and shrugged. “I’m going to get dressed, and then we can go.”
A few minutes later, Heidi reappeared in a floor-length mermaid dress in the deepest, darkest purple. She shimmied over to me and winked. “Come on, sexy. You’re my date tonight. Let’s get Kimber to take a picture of us!”
We hurried into Kimber’s bedroom, and Kimber agreed to take the shot. Heidi handed her phone to Kimber. Then, she threw one hand up in the air and placed the other on her hip while making a pouty face. I pointed my finger at the camera while kissing Heidi on the cheek. When we got a look at it, I just giggled with my girls. It was the most ridiculous and the most us picture in existence.
“This is so going on Instagram. Damn, it’s good to have you back,” Heidi said.
“Use a filter,” I insisted.
“You just filtered your face,” Kimber said, pointing out all the makeup on my face. “You don’t need a filter.”
“My life needs a filter,” Heidi muttered.
Heidi posted the picture and then grabbed her clutch. She stuffed her phone and ID inside. I hated carrying a purse anytime, especially when I had to navigate a dress and heels. So, I gave Heidi my phone and ID, who rolled her eyes and added them to her bag.
“You really don’t mind dropping us off, Kimber?” I asked.
“Not a problem. I want to hear all about the antics when y’all are done.”
“I’ll live tweet you,” Heidi said.
“Oh my God, you are not going to be on your phone all night,” Kimber said. “You should enjoy yourself. Get drunk and make a mistake or two.”
“Done and done,” Heidi said with a wink. “Let’s get out of here.”
We all piled into Kimber’s car. The traffic around the Historic Baker Building, a venue in downtown Lubbock, was outrageous. And that was saying something because the only time traffic got this bad was on Texas Tech game days.
“How many people did Sutton invite?” I asked, craning my head out the window.
“It looks like everyone she’s ever met,” Heidi said.
“Or the whole freaking city,” I grumbled.
“Maybe we should hop out here,” Heidi suggested.
“Be safe,” Kimber said. “Take some condoms for the kids.”
Heidi rolled her eyes.
I laughed as I hopped out of the SUV. “Thanks, Kimber.”
“Bye, babe!” Heidi called, following in my footsteps.
She slammed the door, and we darted through traffic and onto the sidewalk. The Baker Building was a block or two down the street, and already, I was cursing myself for wearing high heels. They had looked so adorable in the store. Now, they were little torture devices.
Who invented these?
Men.
Men invented these to torture us and make our butts look awesome.
Thank God my butt looked this awesome. Otherwise, I’d be taking these off so fast.