I look around at the bodies strewn about. Everyone from Salzar's company is dead. I killed them. Tavian killed them. I don't even know who died by my hand and who by his. So much death. I attacked and killed my own kind to protect Fae I barely know. I killed men and women I'd fought beside. Men and women I'd raided with.
What have I become? I look down at my hands. They no longer glow with the silver flame of my new power, but I can feel it there, just under the surface. "I have to find Tavian. He… he was different this time. His tiger form was black, and… the things he did… I have never seen such things."
Madrid hobbles over to me on her walking stick. "That is the dark magic. The old magic. That of creation and destruction. He has no control in such a state. It's powerful. Dangerous. Unwieldy. He left to protect you, and that alone is remarkable."
"He went into the woods. I must find him. Help him." I need to be near Tavian right now, that's all I know. Nothing else makes sense. Nothing else matters. All other thoughts are jumbled in my mind. I run back to the cottage and grab our packs, then swing onto the horse. I pause before leaving. "Thank you for your hospitality. I am so sorry you were attacked. And for the fire I caused."
"It is because of you that we live at all," the old woman says. "You and Tavian saved this village. You are the Wild One. You are the Fire Druid. And you will always have a home in our tribe, if you need one."
A sob grows in the back of my throat, but I swallow it down. I can't let her words settle into me. I can't consider what they mean, that there are Fae who would accept me, who would treat me with equality and fairness, who would offer me a home and a life. I can't think such things. Not right now. Maybe not ever. I no longer know what I am, but I know what I must do.
I head in the direction I last saw him, where he entered the woods. There I pick up his tracks in the darkness and follow them as quickly as I can until I reach a grove surrounded by trees and a clear pool of water fed by a waterfall off the mountain.
The horse whinnies, and I slide off him and tie him to a tree, then make my way on foot.
And there he is. A giant black tiger. Bigger than anything nature would make, prowling through the grove. He looks restless. Angry. Black smokes twirls around him and lightning sparks in the darkness.
I move slowly, cautiously, with my hand out, like I’d do to calm a horse who was spooked. "Tavian? It's me, Kayla. It's over. The fighting is over. You need to come back to me now, okay?"
The tiger watches me with eyes I know so well, but I can't tell if he understands what I'm saying. I inch closer, holding my breath as I do.
And then he leaps into the air and lands on my chest. He growls, saliva dripping off his sharp teeth. His claws dig into my skin. I ignore the pain and try to remain calm. The fire magic in me is welling up, pushing out, but I can't let it. "I don't want to hurt you," I say through the pain. "I don't want to fight."
His nails dig deeper and I can't hold in the scream. Then his teeth are on me and I feel a bite in my shoulder. "Tavian!"
I don't know if it's my scream, or the taste of my blood, but something happens, and it's instant. He falls back, off of me, his eyes growing wide. And I can tell that he finally sees me. Really sees me.
It takes a moment, but the tiger shifts back into Tavian Gray.
I pull out my crystal and hold it over my shoulder, muttering a spell as I do. It's doesn't heal me completely, but it was a surprisingly shallow wound, and by the time Tavian has stood and walked over to me, I'm mostly recovered.
"Tavian… " my voice gives out as he takes me in his arms.
"I thought I'd done something awful," he says into my hair as he holds me too tightly.
"You saved them. And I'm not hurt. Not really. But you are. Let me see your wounds."
I run a hand over a cut, but he stops my hand with his. "They're scratches. Nothing more."
The air around us feels charged with something new. Something heady and thick and delicious.
When his lips land on mine, I'm already lost in the feeling of his touch, of his body pressed against me. Of his need. Of my need.
There are no thoughts. No considerations for the future, for what this means, for anything beyond our bodies coming together as one. And then we are lost, floating in a place where time doesn’t exist.
Being with Tavian is like nothing I've ever experienced. It's more than physical. More than emotional. It's a coming together of two souls into one. Even my newly awakened magic latches onto his, joining into a swirl of power pulling our bodies closer. When we finally pull apart, satiated and exhausted, I'm filled with a loss unlike anything I've ever felt, and we cling to each other on a bed of grass, unwilling to break the moment with words.