"No," says Varis. "We are not. But it does not mean we cannot co-operate, for prosperity, for peace." He pauses. "Your powers will continue to grow, and one day, you will lose control. Who shall suffer when the time comes? Asher? Arianna?"
"I am as I always was." It is a lie. I know. Something within me has stirred these past few days, something primal and dark. It slithers at the edge of my mind, hides by the side of my heart.
He steps closer once more. "I was once the same, you know. I was but a boy when the Spirit chose me. I had a family, a home. It was your mother who arrived to take me away. I would not leave with her. I would not leave my brothers and sister and mother and father. I did not want the gift bestowed upon me. I did not want the duty. I told your mother as much."
He pauses. "To my surprise, she did not force me, as I had heard was often done. Instead, she stayed at my home, pretended she was little more than honored guest, and allowed me to go about my days. First, I resented her presence, despised her like I didn’t know I could. She was a hero, you understand, a hero of my people, and yet she was my personal enemy. For days, I did not look at her. Though we ate together and she shared words with my mother and father, I would not speak. I would not show her any kindness until she let me be. But, as all things, over time my resistance withered.
"I began to smile at her jokes. Laugh when her wolf Spirit licked at my face. Once, I even shared my meal with her. It was the next day, when it happened. My sister and I were playing by the Old Willow Well. Some boys from the village, older and bigger than we were, came by to play their own way. They smashed my face against the stone well. One held me down, for I was a small lad back then. The other took his hands to my sister. She was young, a little girl, but that did not stop him from running his hands over her. A darkness filled me then. Primal and hungry. I had felt it before, as hate for Lianna, your mother, but now it turned to rage. It poured from me like a river of blood and ice, and the wind bent in its wake. It tore through the air like a wave, knocking the boys back, slamming them against the tree and stone. It tore through my sister. She fell back. Back. Into the well.
"The screams still haunt my dreams. Her bloody face still scars my nightmares. It was Lianna who found us, who pulled out my poor sister. The girl yet lived, but her head had been crushed near the top, like an apple someone stepped on. Her words were slurred and strange. Her memories wrong and frightful. Lianna tried to heal her, but even the power of the Spirits was not enough. And after a few days, it was clear my sister would never be the same. It was then that I left with your mother. It was then that I began my training. I would never lose control again, you see. And I never did."
My heart pounds in my chest at his words. His story flows through my mind, and instead of him, I see myself playing by the well, instead of his sister, I see Kayla. And when she falls. When her head is caved in and scooped out, I see Arianna.
I drop my sword. It is only the exhaustion of my training, I tell my self. Only the fatigue.
Varis turns away. "When you are ready, I will be here for you. Always." He begins to walk, to slip away into the shadows.
For the first time, I face him. "Do you love him?"
He stops, shock in his voice. "Who?"
"Asher. Do you love him? Because he deserves to be loved. Even if it is by a Fae Druid."
Varis meets my gaze. There is certainty to his eye. "I do."
I nod. My blessing in a way.
"How did you know?" he asks. "You were not yet born when Asher and I first met."
"After the Midnight Star fell, it was still years before all Druids turned to slumber. I remember one night, when my mother… my Queen, had taken me to visit Asher’s realm. After a night of feasting, I noticed my brother slip away in the cover of dark. I was a curious boy, and so I followed. It is strange. It is only now, in my memories, that I am a boy. Before, I was as I am now. But now I see the truth. I was a boy. And I wanted to see where my older brother was heading in the middle of night. So I kept to the shadows, tailing him through the castle, out into the forest. There, he met you. You did not speak for long, and though I could not hear what you were saying, I knew it was a form of goodbye."
Varis smiles, a glint in his eyes. "That was the night before I turned to slumber. Asher and I were enemies by then, but I had to see him one last time."
"And what are you now?" I ask.
He shrugs. "I do not know. I fought for the Fae. He fought for the vampires."
"But you turned on Oren. You protected me and Arianna."
"Yes, but is that enough? Asher and I have not spoken since before the battle. His mind and heart are his own. And I do not know if I will ever truly win them back."