As we step out of the mansion and the limo pulls up to greet us, I realize I haven't had to worry about cars for a few weeks, and I actually forgot I'd need one when in Portland.
I tremble as I climb into the back. Fen sits next to me, though there were other seats, and he holds my hand. "We can overcome our fears," he says quietly, as we pull away from the mansion.
I squeeze his hand, pulling it closer to my body, enjoying the weight of his arm over my legs. I want more of this closeness, but he only offers it for comfort, not for pleasure or true intimacy.
It has the intended result. I'm no longer scared of being in a car. Perhaps everything I've gone through in hell has changed me. I breathe deeply and smile, enjoying a car ride for the first time in my life.
"I assume you'll want to see your mother first?"
I nod, and we head to the hospital. It's a bit of a culture shock, being back in Portland. The city is too loud, too bright, too different. I'm wearing my old clothes, and Fen's trench coat, and I have my cell phone. I changed once we got to the mansion. So did Fen, who still looks wild and untamed. I feel more like myself than I've felt in the last few weeks, but less at home. It makes no sense to me.
I text Es on the way to the hospital.
Hey girl. I have a layover here for a few hours. Am checking on my mom and hoped we could meet for coffee?
Her reply is nearly instant.
Omgomgomgomg I've missed the hell out of you! Where are they keeping you locked up? No phone? No internet? No love?
Fen is reading over my shoulder and frowns. "You cannot tell her the truth."
I roll my eyes at him. "No kidding."
Not locked up. Just super busy. We are doing international meetings, lots of no-internet zones, but mostly just buried in books and research. Omg so much research. My head might explode from it all.
Not totally a lie, either. Reading by candlelight until all hours of the night isn't great for the head.
Can't wait to see you. Come by Roxy after seeing mom. I'll take a break. Everyone else would love to see you 2.
I smile.
Will do. Have someone for you to meet too. <3
I put my phone away as we park, knowing Es will be dying from suspense. I don't even bother checking the bajillion messages, texts and phone calls she and Pete have been leaving. My Facebook has blown up with too many tags and comments to check. Who knew I was so popular until I disappeared, literally, from the face of the earth.
My mom has been moved to a private room in the long term care wing, as promised by Asher, and I confirm with the nurse on duty that she is getting the best care available. When we enter her room, it is filled with fresh flowers and the curtains are open to let in some light. "I wonder who sent the flowers."
I check for a card, but there isn't one. Fen clears his throat, like he's guilty of something. "I asked Asher to have them sent regularly, so she'd have something fresh and pretty in her room."
I suck in a breath and try to keep the tears from welling in my eyes at his thoughtfulness. I surprise him with a hug, resting my head on his chest. His arms wrap around me somewhat reluctantly as I thank him.
His reply is gruff and self-conscious, and I pull away to see my mom.
She looks well enough, all things considered. Her color is good and all her machines seem to be clicking along as they are meant to. I take her hand, and she feels colder than I imagined. My fingers trace the outline of her demon mark that matches mine. "Hi, Mom. It's me, Ari. Are you doing okay?"
I know she won't respond, but I talk to her anyways, telling her things I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but she's unconscious and can't hear, and even if she could, she made a deal with a demon, so she obviously knows about this stuff. Fen doesn't stop me, so I just talk and talk until I can't think of anything else to say. We've been there for hours when Fen checks his watch. "We should be going if you want to see your friends."
It's hard to say goodbye, knowing it will be another month before I can see her again. Knowing it will be seven months before she will be free of this curse. But I kiss her head and walk out with Fen by my side.
He takes my hand again. To comfort, of course, but I appreciate it nonetheless.
We take the limo to The Roxy, and though it's the busiest time of night, everyone on duty makes time to say hi. Es is most excited as she hangs up her black apron and shouts that she's leaving for a bit.
She keeps hugging me and grabbing my hands, while simultaneously trying to wipe tears away without messing up her makeup as we walk along the dark streets of Portland. "Girl, I have missed you. You can't even know how much."
I sniffle back my own tears and smile. "I've missed you too. Es, I'd like you to meet Fen. Fen this is Es, my best friend."
Es studies the man next to me, her eyebrow raised high. She holds out her hand for a kiss, and he obliges. She giggles and claps. "Oh Fen, it's such a pleasure to meet you. Tell me, do you work with Ari?"