I was ready to talk to him. I needed closure, if nothing else. My head and my heart were confused.
The doorbell rang, and I set my glass of orange juice down and went to open the door. Major stood there looking as beautiful as he always did. The face of a model, and he knew it. He worked it. Once that had been all I thought I needed. Now I realized I required much more.
“Hey,” I said, stepping back. “Come in.” I noticed a yellow envelope in his hand, and my chest squeezed. Even if I didn’t want Major, I wanted those words. I needed them.
“I’m glad you texted,” he said, looking at me sincerely. His heart was in his eyes, and he looked like he meant it.
Nothing stirred in me but a sadness that my feelings for him might have changed so much. That he might have killed anything there, and I wouldn’t be able to get it back. Even now, when I wanted to, I couldn’t even force myself to believe it. “The notes. I want to understand their purpose. But first, are you thirsty? Can I get you a drink?”
He looked nervous and uncomfortable now. His eyes darted in the direction of the kitchen. “Yeah, uh, I’d love some water.”
He was stalling. Interesting.
I led the way and took my time fixing him a tall glass of ice water, and then I looked pointedly at the yellow envelope in his hand. “You brought another one with you today.”
He looked down at it as if he had forgotten it was there. He nodded slowly before lifting his gaze back to me. “Open it,” he said, handing it to me.
I took the envelope, anxious to read the words he’d written this time. What else about me did he find beautiful? Those small notes meant so much that even though I didn’t love him, I cared for him simply because he took the time to think about them and write them down.
Slipping out the piece of stationery that I now knew like the texture of my own skin, I read:
Graceful, equine movements. Another thing that makes you beautiful.
I had to read that one several times before I understood what he was saying. I never knew Major to use such eloquent wording to describe anything. It was almost as if these weren’t his own words. Like he’d taken them from someone else.
Major
I really needed to see what she was reading. Needed some freaking clue to what the notes said. Apparently, they’d been powerful, because she’d contacted me after saying she never wanted to see me again. Cope had thought of everything but this? Why hadn’t he briefed me on the notes he’d written for me to give her? From where I was sitting, I could see it was a simple handwritten message. But that was it.
She read over it several times, then lifted her eyes to meet mine. “Did you write this?”
Fuck. Why was she asking me that? I hated Cope. He hadn’t thought of this scenario. Dammit. “Every single one.” I lied and held her steady gaze. I wouldn’t look away; I had to own this. The notes had gotten me this far. It was time I did the rest. “I miss you, Nan. Everything about you.”
Her eyes softened, and the questions that clouded them seemed to lift some. She shook her head and let out a soft laugh. “You don’t make sense. Not at all.”
“I made a mistake. Hell, I made a million mistakes with you, but I want a chance to fix them.”
She set the note down, and it was all I could do not to pick it up and read it. “Why was it so easy to hurt me before?” she asked.
This I could answer honestly. “Because I didn’t realize I was hurting you until it was too late. I thought we were casual. I was afraid to be more than casual with you because of, well, you. Who you are, what you look like, what I’ve heard about you. I didn’t think I could make you happy. So I handled it all wrong. I want another chance. Please.”
She sighed, and her head tilted slightly to the right as she studied me. I knew her having me here was a good thing, but I wasn’t done winning her back. I could see that clearly. I had to move fast.
“Go out with me tonight. Let me show you how good we can be.”
Nan’s tongue came out and licked her bottom lip as she thought through this. She had really nice lips. The kind most women pay to have. “OK.”
OK. She was saying OK to a date. This was it. I had her back. I’d figure all this out. First, I needed to decide on the magical date that would win her over completely. I wasn’t asking Cope, either. His ass would see that I knew how to land a woman. With or without his damn notes. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”
Nan gave me a smile and nodded her head. “I’ll see you then.”
The moment I pulled out of her driveway, my phone vibrated. I gritted my teeth, knowing it was Cope. Ignoring him was pointless and possibly life-threatening. So I picked up my phone.